The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

After my first mastectomy, I had someone ask me what they did with my breast when it was removed.  My response: "I am having it tanned and made into a watch cap for my husband. I am debating about having a propeller placed on the nipple. What do you think; is the propeller too much?"

I was actually the same question several times by different people, gave them the same answer.

Sassa - 

I will remember this one when I go back to work - so funny 

Barbe1958 -

Breast cancer without breasts - oxymoron 

Barbe - you are so funny!! I know we all have to have some sense of humor to get through this.  I just learned the microinvasions were determined invasive - I guess I will wait to see what is next.

Well, shame on me, this morning I feel like one Tony. A co-worker came by couple of hours ago and asked how my wife is doing. I replied and then he said: "Well, I know what you're going through." Immediately this thread came to my mind, my blood raced to my head and I shot back: "You have absolutely no idea!". And he went on and told me that his wife has Stage IV BC and fighting it for 10 years already with impressive success. They have 3 children who were young at the time of the diagnosis. He offered his support and any help that might be needed and etc. So yes, he indeed knows what we're going through.

I feel SO damn ashamed! I wanted just to vanish from there... Of course, I apologized. Should have listened to the end...

Leprechaun, he sounds like he understands, hopefully you can both be there for each other.

There's a couple of thread on the "keeping positive" myth, crap, whatever. One is in the Stage IV forum, the other is in the Middle Age forum.  There are some absolutely hilarious come backs in the Middle Age forum one!  What burns me the most about the "keep positive" type comments is the implication that I gave myself bc by being negative.  I was very positive and very happy in my life before diagnosis, and I really resent someone telling me how I should feel about bc and what it's done to me.  Ahh, but I've done that rant on the other thread. 

It's sad how "me" focused our society has become that people don't feel comfortable or able to just BE WITH someone having a hard time, but that they MUST say something to make themselves feel better. . . 

were we that rude and stupid before we had BC? I dont think so!!!!!!!!!!! I can not remember anytime in my 51 years that I let a STUPID remark come out of my mouth!!!!!!!!!!.........

OK Im not by any means perfect. I am sure I have said things not knowing and hurt someones feelings. Not plain out "here's your sign" But these are people we know.......and they know you had surgery, treatments, and STILL have Cancer''''''' It never goes away, it may be, cut off, fryed of W/radiation, or poisoned by chemo. BUT........................................... "IT" will be with you always. Cured or not we will never forget!! God how I wish we could!!

A girl stopped by last night, (I dont care for her) my SO is friends with her and her Hubby since high school. She was the last person I want to talk about this with. The guys were out side and she let herself in to "pee"!! Hi whats new, how are you feeling, you look good, tired but that is to be expected she said. You are going thru a lot. THEN she said the wrong thing...................."I know exactly what you are going thru!!!" OMG I almost killed her! She preceded to tell me about her surgery, she had her cervix removed a few months ago, (and milked that) when I was dx in Dec. she found out, well......dont you think she got all sorts of problems, anyway she had to have her uterus removed vaginaly. she kept saying with my cancer, with my cancer. She talked for 2 hrs. she kept tryn to hug me, she said it wold make me feel better to get it out to someone who could relate......... OM effing !@#$%^&*. I was screaming at her, did you or do you have to have Rad. or Chemo? No but I know exactly how you feel.................WOW. I have bad paps too, @ 6 months I go. had uterin biopsy, cervical cone treatment/biopsy, all the time it is A typical cells, yea there not good to be there, but you dont go around telling everyone you had emergency surgery and bla bla bla. she talked the hole time, never skiped a beat, never took a breath, to let me say anything. She said she came to see how I was???? she never aked, she was so bussy making like she was dying. I did before she left when she was putn on her coat look her in the face and said, "dont ever tell someone you know exactly what they are going thru, your situation was in NO WAY similar, and your DONE with it, so get off it................I am just waiting for my Dr to call with my apt to start chemo & Radiation. Then she sterted telling me she knew all that too, she knows this woman at work, and her neighbor and....... so I can understand!!!!!  luckily she had to go her husband wanted to go. Call me honey Im so glad you opened up to me. I didnt tell her a !@#$% thing. Next time im locking the door..;-}

Leah, I agree - let her pee anywhere but in your house.

SV - don't worry about me, because it doesn't bother me.  I know people have my best interest at heart and they are just trying to make me feel better.  When they say something that is not quite appropriate (like asking about nipples), and use humor to set the situation straight....like threatening to run around topless in their front yard..LOL!!   I am not easily upset and do not react with anger, just use the situation to amuse myself :>   

She's dates a guy named Tony - poor coed.

My good friend (or so i thought) called me "LAZY" and accused me of "milking it". She also said why can everyone else go through breast cancer and go right back to work...I couldn't believe it.. People are just cruel and have no clue at all.

Yesterday, I indulged in some retail therapy.  When the sales person asked if she could help find something special I said in a quiet voice yes, I just had a double mastectomy, not having reconstruction, looking for some new clothes to fit my new profile.  She leaned in and whispered, "Was it cancer?"  Why, no, I had them removed for the heck of it...  But I whispered back yes, and she proceeded to help me find some really nice clothes. 

I had bilateral mastectomy this past December due to cancer in both breasts. Last week a pelvic ultrasound showed a 2cm solid mass in my right ovary. Surgery to remove ovary and fallopian tube is scheduled for March 8, possibly full ooph depending on what's found during surgery. I've been researching about all the horror of ovarian cancer...I told my sister how scared I am about it being cancer because I could die within 5 years. A day later she asked me where I wanted to be buried and what my funeral preferences were. How stupid and insensitive! She cried and apologized later but the physiological damage was done. I guess when dealing with cancer death and funeral topic can be a bit uncomfortable

Thank you Olivia!