Starting Chemo October 2009

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010

    JOJO: hoping for the best outcome with your daughter. I think Hopbird makes a good point that it's very likely that it may be a gland swollen as the result of infection or irritation. Glad that she was able to get a quick appt.

    Philippa: Sorry you are having such a rough time after this treatment. I too have heard of using black nail polish to reduce damage to nails while on the taxanes. And it might be more important in your climate where you are exposed to lots of sun. If it's any consolation, my taste buds came back in force shortly after treatment ended. I can't stop eating now. I've regained the weight I lost during chemo plus an additional 3-4 pounds. And that's just in three weeks.

    Dee: Good luck today with #7. You'll never feel it until the last one.

    I had rads #2 today (out of 33). Feeling well.

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  • azdiva
    azdiva Member Posts: 201
    edited February 2010

    JoJo - I am hoping and praying that everything is well with your daughter.  Over the years, I have had "issues" with lumps in my armpit area.  Starting with, I found out I had breast tissue there when I was nursing my kids!  My right armpit was swollen and hurt.  CABBAGE LEAVES made that swelling go down!  Plus, sometimes you can get an ingrown hair there that can get really irritated.  That is probably what is going on!  Please, please let us know.  

    I went to the urogynecologist today.  I have never met a doctor I have felt more comfortable with.  He was very knowledgeable and very professional.  I guess this is why he is ranked as one of the best in the country!  Anyway, he definitely made an awkward appointment as comfortable as possible.

    Long and the short - I have uterine, anterior, and posterior prolapses.  With the exception of the uterus part, this means I have, essentially, holes in my vaginal walls, through which my bladder and rectum are poking through!!  And, my uterus is no longer connected to all of the ligaments that are supposed to hold it in place, so it is falling through as well!   He said that the problem is not so pronounced now as it will be in the future.  I guess I have really strong muscles that hold things together now.  Anyway, all things are fixable.  He can removes the uterus, repair the holes (like hernia repairs), and put a sling under the urethra.  OVERNIGHT SURGERY!  He can also remove my ovaries when all of this is done, but he was more hesitant about that.  He wants me to really talk to my Onc about the benefit of it, and whether tamoxifen alone might give me the protection I need.  More tests next week (a urine flow analysis - fun! . . . NOT!).  This doctor is very, very thorough, and I feel like I have so much more information now.

    Sorry for the gory details!  I feel pretty good about this guy.  Maybe there is a trampoline in my future?! hahaha

    Laura 

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  • MarieK
    MarieK Member Posts: 911
    edited February 2010

    Oh WOW! Laura - I'm so excited by your news I could pee myself!!! HA! HA!

    I can't wait to see my new uro-gyn guy!  Hopefully he will give me good news too!

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  • RaiderDee
    RaiderDee Member Posts: 150
    edited February 2010
    Hi everybody.  Mary, can I have my smiley face please?   I finished #7 today and only one more to go.  Everything went fast and fine.  No complaints so far.  I hope everyone else is doing well.  I'm gonna go take a nap.  Have a good night, Dee 
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  • valeriekd
    valeriekd Member Posts: 287
    edited February 2010

    Hi Everyone!

    Marie - I love the new pisture - its like seeing another side of you personality!

    Jo Jo- I am so sorry u r going thru even this part of the nightmare- The f-ing waiting!!!!!!!! God - I hated that the most.

    Phillipa- u r very brave my friend - my prayers r wth u!

    Great going Dee - the finish line is in sight!

    Be well- Valerie 

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010
    Congrats Dee Smile. Hope the SEs are mild.
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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited February 2010

    HI ALL

    Well we done it and the lady doing the ultra sound said that she couldn't see anything that stands out to her ,and the lady who done the mamo said the same thing. soooo we were excited woooohoooo yippy yah hoo lalala but you can defiantly feel a hard mass its the size of the palm of your hand and the lump under her arm comes and.goes  . may be its just a hard mass of fatty tissue? don't know ,but they all felt it ,  if it comes back neg do you think we should press for more testing or not .

     I was so happy i bought my self a pressy, a rocking chair a wooden one always wanted one it was in a secondshop for $80 yeh for jojo Thanks for all the prayers and good healthy vibes

    princess JOJO

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  • txstardust
    txstardust Member Posts: 599
    edited February 2010

    Jojo, I imagine if the lump under her arm were cancer, it wouldn't come and go, it would be there all the time.  Sounds like inflammation to my untrained mind.  I'm SO glad the u/s was clear.

    Marie, I also love the new picture!  A whole new perspective, eh?

    Dee, glad you have another tx under your belt.  Hope it isn't too hard on you this time around.

    Laura, good luck with the surgery!

    Ladies I'm just beside myself.  My DH and I had a big argument tonight.  Among other things, he said he's upset that I'm not honest with him about how I'm feeling.  However, whenever I do share honestly about the hurt and fear and loneliness I'm experiencing, he just gets frustrated and upset.  I just don't have the mental/emotional energy to hold him up right now, you know what I mean?  I can barely hold it together for myself, so making him feel better about my problems just isn't possible for me right now.  I'm not sure what to do, this is really causing a rift.  And it makes me more mad at BC, which I didn't think was possible!

    Peace to all,

    Shelby 

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited February 2010

    SHELBY

    May be you can still tell him how your feeling but word it in another way , WE know about the loneliness and how it feels and also the fear , but people who have never had any kind of life threatening illness will never know  what we mean by feeling lonely, he would of taken that as an insult because ,in his mind he has been a good support for  and from what you have said he has been ,may be when you want to express your loneliness come on here and tell us we know what you mean, just keep on thanking him for all the good stuff he has done for you and that his strength has helped you heaps , with you lifting him up with praise that  will be what he needs to carry him through all of this  .im so sorry that you guys had an argument they are horrible but when you kiss and make up and make it soon , one good thing abouts arguments is that we learn more about one another, hope things work out .our poor husbands have been going through just as a rough time as us i think they love us so much andthey carnt do any thing about this cancer that must be frustratingfor them, they just want to protect us always .

    PRINCESS JOJO

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  • txstardust
    txstardust Member Posts: 599
    edited February 2010

    I see your point, Jojo, thanks.  I'll try to be more aware of what I'm saying, I guess I can see how he might just take it wrong.  This damn cancer!  

    Thanks,

    Shelby 

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  • JustmeAlicia
    JustmeAlicia Member Posts: 1,529
    edited February 2010

    JOJO ~ so glad you got good news about your daughter.  I was 2 pages behind reading and so happy when I read your update.  :)))) 

    Shelby ~  I am sorry you are having a hard time with the hubby.  JOJO gave great advice.  It is so true that no one can understand how we feel, and it is truly hard to put into words and explain.  Cancer sucks!!  I hope you can talk to him and things will be better.  I find my hubby is always so positive and when I am down I get mad at him.  They just don't understand the fear I think. 

    Now onto all the bladder talk, I was tested before all of this cancer crap.  And I have an overactive bladder.  They put me on a pill to help and it works wonders.  Also regarding the ooph.  My oncologist feels lets wait and see what happens with my period, she is putting me on tamoxifen.  Hopefully I tolerate that with little SE's. 

    Hugs girls,

    Alicia

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  • CAtharsis
    CAtharsis Member Posts: 52
    edited February 2010

    JOJO: That sounds very encouraging... I too was 2 pages behind and am really glad to read the update. I'm no professional, but in the circumstances (history of a mother with BC), I would go through more testing just to stop worrying. Because I would always be thinking about that lump. Courage to your daughter and yourself.

    SHELBY and ALL: Indeed, cancer is a heavy burden that our loved ones think they can share with us. In fact, they can sometimes give (more than welcomed) support but, unfortunately, the best intentions in the world will not make healthy people feel what we, cancer fighters, are going through mentally and physically. When I think of the pre-cancer "me", it helps me understand my husband, family and friends. Everybody feels invincible and they want us to be as invincible as before... but, we do not feel invicible anymore, do we?

     MARIE: I LOL at the not growing beard thing...

    NAIL ISSUE: Under Taxotere, I used black nail polish and my nails got tender but did not crack or yellowed.

     Have a great week-end ladies!

     Isabelle

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited February 2010

    Wow, a lot to read..Shelby, perhaps it would be easier to express your feelings on paper to your DH.  In the heat of an argument sometimes we just cant word things the way we can on paper...maybe that is why us ladies have an easier time chatting..we can type and edit if we want...perhaps get him a funny card and pour out your feelings...I find also that after a roll in the hay we have an easier time chatting...perhaps it is that we have time to devote to each other without anyone interrupting us.  I know TMI.

    JOJO, AAHHHH, breathing a sigh of relief....

    Alicia, perhaps waiting for your ooph is good...you can't reverse that operation.  I know I don't want to jump into that to fast.  Not that I want any more kids....NOOOO

    Yahoo Dee..

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  • DebbiD
    DebbiD Member Posts: 14
    edited February 2010

    Mary,please mark chemo # 7 finished!!!  Oh I was such a baby going into this one. The other six treatments I was roaring "Let's kill those cancer cells."  This time I was whimpering to my husband, "You're not going to let them poison me again are you??!!"  I guess the chemo fatigue, nausea, achy breaky everything was just too real this time.  I'm so done with feeling chemo-ey.Yell

    Woke up this morning and sang loudly with some praise music, read some good words of life from the Bible and am getting back to focusing on what matters most.   My husband, my kids and grandkids, my friends and most of all remembering this world is not my home.Cool

    One more to go...then surgery....then radiation...then ,maybe more chemo?  One step at a time.  For now, I'm standing on the ROCK!

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010

    DebbiD: congrats on finishing #7. I think #8 will be easier as you'll know it's the last one.

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited February 2010

    Debbie, good to see you are almost done chemo...one more check in the box...

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited February 2010

    Good evening wonderful strong ladies.

    It is so good to look up top and see all the smiley faces and the dates of finished treatments. Everyone is getting close to the finish line. 

    I am 9 weeks PFC and am doing so well.  I am almost through with rads and had my port removed today.  My hair is growing, even though it will be a while before I can go without a wig or a scarf, but it is growing.  I lost my lashes and brows about 7 weeks PFC, but they will grow back in short time.  At least that is what I understand.  The fatigue is much better, even though I am doing rads, I haven't had too much problem. 

    God bless all of you and it will be over soon.

    Juannelle 

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited February 2010

    DEBBIE D

    Hang in there, hey good place to be ON THE ROCK ive been on stones lately and im a bit wobbly i need to get to higher ground and up on the rock i know i will feel a whole lot better.

    SHELBY

    Hope your having a good day .

    To everyone else have a great weekend and smell the fresh air get it into your lungs

    LOVE PRINCESS JOJO

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010

    Did any of you find that you see the world differently post chemo? It's as if colors are sharper and I see things that I didn't notice before. Today we had a heavy snowfall, and I think I've never seen anything as beautiful before.

    I took this photo this afternoon, after a lot of the snow had melted.

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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010

    Juannelle: about eyelashes. Mine fell out about two weeks before the end of the chemo. I was on CMF for the last four cycles. The onc said my hair might even start to grow back while on CMF, so I was totally unprepared to lose my eyebrows. But the good news is they grew back really quickly. They were pretty full again in three weeks.

    My eyelashes thinned a lot but never fell out completely. They have started to fill in again but I don't think they are as long as before. 

    It's kind of fun to watch my hair grow. It's mostly white now, with a few dark hairs mixed in. I'm not sure how grey I was pre-chemo as I'd been coloring my hair for years.

    JoJo: you do have some great words of wisdom and are great at boosting everyone's spirits. 

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited February 2010

    Darlings

    What is PFC? Post Fcuking Chemo or Post Final Chemo? Lol.......



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  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited February 2010

    LOL Onty, I asked the same in another thread. They told me "post final chemo." I guessed your first option too.

    In the beginning all these acronyms and abbreviations really annoyed me. Sometimes I would think that people were just trying to be cute or exclusionary as only a regular reader of the boards would know what they all mean. Now I've started using them myself to save time (and spelling errors). For example onc is so much easier to type than oncologist and breast cancer such a common phrase in posts that BC makes sense.

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited February 2010

    Onty, good to hear from you this morning.  PFC stands for post final  chemo, but I am sure post f$cking chemo would work.

    Where I work, we always use acronyms and they can be daunting for people  new to the plant.  I had to ask what PFC meant also and NED, I like to have never figured that one out.

    Juannelle

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited February 2010

    One l, now I am wondering, what is NED?

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  • JustmeAlicia
    JustmeAlicia Member Posts: 1,529
    edited February 2010

    NED = No Evidence of Disease.

    :)

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited February 2010

    Thanks Alicia...I did see a thread on the BC lingo, but there was so much to remember..

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited February 2010

    michele, I am sorry I should have said what it meant.  I am so bad.  You are right, there is so much to remember.  When I first started posting here, I went somewhere an printed out a page of explanations of all the acronyms and it was so helpful.  I was having lots of trouble  navigating and figuring what some of the posts meant.

    Juannelle

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited February 2010

    HI

    MARY

    THAT PICTURE LOOKS SO LOVELY, LOOKS LIKE YOU LIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL PLACE IN THIS BIB WORLD AND THANK YOU FOR THAT NICE COMMENT MWA

    OH i hate cap locks, I'm typing away and when I'm finished i look up and everything is in capitals now i carnt be bothered to erase it all and type it all over again .

    All the abbreviations, ill bump up the thread Ive saved it into my favorites i like the saying im dancing with ned !!!!

     I  just read the report on my C/T scan yesterday it said " 5mm low density  legion  which was very likely to be just a benign simple cyst. liver is relatively enlarged transversely  ,liver shows moderate diffuse fatty change." 

    Does all this sound normal ?i Carnot stop being worried about the  enlarged part and the 5mm legion  my onco said he will give me another scan after rads just to check for changes .

    OH this dumb ass cancer will it ever go away totally, its like a bad night mare that is really happening F$%KING MONGRAL

    princess jojo lol

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  • one-L
    one-L Member Posts: 1,110
    edited February 2010

    jojo, I don't  know what the report means, but I don't  think any of us will ever get over being afraid of everything for the rest of our lives.  Every pain, ache or test will keep us scared.  At least that  is the way I feel about this.  Hope  all is well with you and there are not problems with you or your daughter.

    Juannelle

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  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited February 2010

    HI JUANNELLE

     Yep i do agree you know i was so excited about finishing chemo and i was so gunho about getting back into life again th,en i got kicked down on my fat ass and realized that i carnt do it ,it has been only 3 weeks since last chemo and my body has a lot of healing to do but in the last few days i have also realized its not just my body that has to heal its also my mind, sometimes when I'm around a lot of people i just want to get away  from all of them it feels like I'm not ready for this ,and Ive been wanting to cry ALL THE TIME ,i know it will take time and patient for all the healing to be done . and I'm so opened to for it to begin , well thats my whine for the day, ill most probable have another tomorrow ok till then love lots

    PRINCESS JOJO

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