Buddhists
Are there any Buddhists on this Forum?
I would like to know how your experience with cancer has affected your practice. It has helped mine tremendously. I have a clearer understanding of anicca, anatta and dukkha in ways that were not possible before.
Metta to everyone on this forum
Comments
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Me! pick me.
I'm not sure how its affected my practice. Perhaps I'm too baby a buddhist? ---I took refugee in November '09 right mere days before I was diagnoised though we have been attending [as a family] various sitting groups, monestaries and classes for a few years. While my diagnoisis hasn't gotten me to spend more time on my cushion
I suppose I can credit some chanting of Om mani to myself for keeping me really calm during the initial biopsy. Oh and when the annoying nurse asked about my mala, I said I was a Buddhist and she left the room in a fashion that makes me think she equated Buddhism with child sacrificing demon worship! And that my friends was a good thing because she was VERY illogical---no knitting in the biopsy room because of "germs" but its okay to wear my street shoes! 
So what "flavor" of Buddhism are you? My husband is very zen [particularly Soto] but its really hard to find a Soto zen group with family stuff so we spend most of our time switching between a Tibetan group with a Dharma school and a Chan monestary.
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I am Theravada which is about the only form that one can practice without a teacher. Read the suttas, sit down and be quiet. This is not to say I wouldn't love to have a Wat with monks and nuns to visit, but I live in the Ozarks and there just aren't any. I have books and rely on Access to Insight for the suttas themselves. I listen to audios as well as watch the videos of Ajahn Bram on YouTube. I guess I really don't lack for teachers.
When I was diagnosed and waiting for my surgery I wished metta to my tumor. I imagined the pointy angry looking cancer cells becoming smooth and relaxed. I have no idea if it had an effect on my cancer, but it made me feel better.
Since the surgery two years ago, I have had two biopsies for suspicious spots. The wait time for the results was 4-6 days. The wait enabled me to concentrate on analyzing my fears and on facing death. Good things to think about as a Buddhist. Thanks to the wait, I know I do not fear death. I fear loss of perceived control and pain. My time on the cushion analyzing my mental state has helped me discuss things with my doctors. I now have much less fear of either of those things. Time well spent.
Now when I sit and I start to have a bit of pain, I shift my concentration from my breath to my pain and back again. As I change my focus, the pain gets weaker and then stronger and then weaker and then disappears as I really focus in on the breath. Fascinating thing, the mind.
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Isn't the internet amazing for that sort of thing? The abbott for our chan monastery divides his time between our place and the monastery in California. He does his class broadcast on skype to both monasteries at once. Our ties to the Tibetan tradition are very loose--I once described Tibetan buddhism as the Eastern Orthodox version of Buddhism and my husband as the Quaker sort of Buddhist. Its interesting how many Buddhist groups [at least in the US] are really geared towards adults and not to families unless you find a more immigrant community with people from a Buddhist country or tradition.
For me, its the fear of leaving my children. Its funny because I was never particularly troubled by death growing up--didn't fear it, didn't worry about it and at one time, couldn't really picture myself as "old." But when I got my diagnois, mega meltdown! because of the idea of leaving my children before they were ready.
I need to get back to the cushion.......but I knew that. I'm just a slacker. Its more a parenting issue than a stupid cancer issue. I have 3 kids and since I work outside the home, it can be hard to figure out a regular time to sit. That said, I have really enjoyed going to my Sutra class at the Chan monastery and that comes with a sitting componant so at least I'm doing it once a week.
Have you tried the on-line retreat through Tricycle? I'm thinking of listening to some dharma talks during the work week to keep my focus. Hmmmm, maybe I can close my door at lunch?
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Your concerns for your children are certainly justified. I know you aren't living in that fear, but how can it not pop up? Of course, as you know, there is nothing wrong with feeling fear, it is the dwelling in it that causes trouble crowding out the present moment.
I will try to find some sources aimed at children for you.
I listen to the audio dhamma talks by Thanissaro Bhikkhu before I start my sit. He is an American monk so accent isn't an issue. The talks are about 10-15 minutes long and put my mind in the right place. Here is a link. http://www.dhammatalks.org/
I have tried online retreats but just can't stick with them. I thinking about going to a retreat in West Virginia at the Bhavana Society. They have retreats just for women that are run by Bhikkhunis (nuns). There won't be any retreats for beginners there this year. But next year, I want to go.
Your disruption of the different traditions is very close to mine. I think Tibetan Buddhists are the Roman Catholics and the Theravada are the Quakers. Of course Zen and Theravada are equally plain and to the point. There is a great deal of crossing back and forth between Theravada and Zen.
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I started out in Soto Zen in Los Angeles, but I have difficulty with the more marshall aspects of the practice and the ritual. The aesthetic appealed to me, and I loved sitting in the zendo. Now I sit alone (no zendo in Peoria, IL) when I can. I am still looking for a tradition where I feel I fit.
I've worn my mala all through my treatments and no one said anything, other than complementing my "bracelet."
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Try looking into Theravada. There is a lot of wandering back and forth between Zen practitioners and Theravada practitioners. Some sit Zendo but read the Pali Canon.
I looked into Zen but koans make my head hurt and I was drawn to the down to earth practicality of the of the oldest suttas which are called the Nikayas in Theravada and the Agamas in Mahayana (Zen). Check out the link to the dhamma talks which I posted above. They are really a meditation talks with a bit of dhamma thrown in. Thanissaro Bhikkhu seems like a cool guy. Some of the San Diego surfer dudes make him a board with a cartoon of him on it. I think there is still a picture of him standing next to the board on the Wat Metta web site.
I have a Hindu mala but have never used it or a Buddhist mala since I don't count while meditating. I think the only difference is the number of beads. But, what do I know?
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Hey there! what a weekend---my mother in law is visiting [which is good--we really get along well]. Unfortunately she slipped taking compost out, fell down and, as it turns out, broke her arm. Sigh. Not the day I had planned for. I did make it to my class tonight---we are studying "the Essence of Mayayana Practice" by Bodhidharma and I even got to sit. Appropriately enough, Shifu was talking about someone who had cut their thumb quite badly but was not upset, noting how it was only a bad cut and it could have been worse---the thumb was cut in connection with a lawnmower so he could have lost the whole thumb or hand or whatever. Part of Shifu's point was that it would be the good karma that made it not worse.
I feel that way about my MIL and her broken arm--thank goodness I came home when I did, she was able to pick herself up and go in the house, the break is a fracture and not a full break or compound etc.
And I guess when it comes down to it, I feel that way about my cancer too---in so many ways, it could be so much worse--its confined, its not invasive and yes, its breast cancer and not some other type of cancer. I had a friend years ago who was diagnoised with bile duct cancer and she was dead in six months. She had two very young children. I may not be comfortable, my boobs don't match but hey, it could be worse.
Hope that all are well and no one is offended.
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Hey Sido, you say you were once Soto in LA---where were you? My husband started at ZCLA in K-town.....we really liked it there. He liked the services [bunch of introverts staring at a wall] but I just liked the people.
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Strange, most of the world prays and we sit and think how fortunate we are. I don't stare at walls though. I close my eyes. Would I get hit with a stick if I were Zen? (non-Buddhists, this is an old Zen joke.)
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3monstmama: Yea, I was at ZCLA! I loved the sitting, but freaked out duing my first sesshin. I didn't even mind getting hit with the stick.:)
My problem is that I'm under treatment for severe depression (I've had it all my life), and a lot of Buddhists really frown on medication. well, at least the ones I have encountered. I've read Mark Epstein which has been really helpful.
notself: I'll look more into Theraveda. I was just so attracted to the aesthetic of Zen, and I thought it would be less mystical/magical than other traditions, but it is still pretty ritual-heavy.
In gassho, Sido
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Good grief, Buddhists who frown on medication are just plain misinformed or the Buddhists they were talking to are misinformed. The Buddha talked about medicine all the time. Monks can even take medicine with alcohol in it. There is a sutta about being a good patient that has an instruction to take your medicine when you are sick.
I am concerned about you doing Zen meditation if you are depressed. It is my understanding that Zen focuses on a concept known as emptiness. Normally this type of meditation is just fine. However, I have heard from others that it is not a good mediation subject for those with depression.
I practice alone and I don't observe any rituals. There are darn few rituals in Theravada. There is the typical Asian respectful bowing and the voluntary observance of Uposatha. That's it. All the rituals you see in South East Asia (Theravada country) are cultural in nature and not part of the teachings. There are more rituals for monks such as chanting morning and evening.
I recommend that you do Metta meditation. Here is a link. http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/buddharakkhita/wheel365.html
You can make up your own words for this type of meditation. Do read the entire link to understand the purpose of metta. Here are the words I use.
May I be well and happy
May I be safe and free from harm
May I be free from anger and ill will
May I be at peace
May my heart be filled with loving kindness.
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I don't understand any of this......I have recently become acquainted with Nichiren Buddhism, from the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin.
It is so very different from the forms of buddhism you are referring to above....
There are no commandments which seek to restrict our lives in this Buddhism but there is a basic morning and evening practice which,combined with the philosophy, directs people to respect that which is of ultimate value: life itself.
I am interested to hear about other forms of Buddism, and wonder whether any of you are aquainted with Nichiren Buddhism.
Sam
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I answered your post, but my answer disappeared. Here it is again.
Buddhism does not have life restricting commandments. It has Precepts, training rules, that lead to a moral and well lived life. Here they are.
I undertake the precept to refrain from killing.
I undertake the precept to refrain from taking what is not freely given.
I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.
I undertake the precepts to refrain from incorrect speech.
I undertake the precept to refrain from taking intoxicating drinks or drugs which lead to heedlessness.
Sam52, I have sent you a PM.
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Hey Sido, when were you at ZCLA? i wonder if you overlapped us---we moved in Oct 2007 but my husband has gone back twice for sesshins and traveled with a group from there on a pilgrimage to China.
I was raised episcopalian and my most recent church experience was anglican so I don't mind ritual. Still, I am always befuddled at the Tibetan services because there is so much ritual---probably the same reaction I would have if I was going to a Greek orthodox church.
There are LOTS of ways to meditate--no one right-everything-else-wrong way. Of course, I have butted heads with my husband on this as the wall staring one : ) thinks that the ony way to meditate is to think about nothing.
As far as Chan/Zen mediation and depressing, I'm not sure its a bad thing---more like inevitable introspection ala certain types of talk therapy. But in general, I think that the metta type of mediation is very useful for people trying to improve their mental outlook when dealing with things like StupidBreastCancer.
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Sam52,
A long time agon I did know something about Nichiren Buddhism but today my mind is a blank. One book on Buddhism that I really liked is called The Beginners Guide to Walking the Buddha's Eightfold Path by Jean Smith. For that matter, I also liked other books from the series including Beginners Guide to Insight Mediation and Beginners Guide to Zen Buddhism.
I have come to realize that there are vast and interesting differences between Buddhism in the west and Buddhism in the east. I read a really good book on the topic but can't remember the name. When I do, I will post it.
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In my opinion, Buddhism is overlaid by the culture in which it is located. In Asia which has a long history of talismans, horoscopes, and amulets, these things are found connected to Buddhism. In the West, where the community is mainly Asian many of these traditions continue. In areas that are predominately Western these drop away and are replaced by science/Buddhism comparisons.
Under it all there is the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path.
A good introductory book on Buddhism is Buddha by Karen Armstrong. Some think it is too clinical, but I think it is an excellent attempt at putting the life of Siddhattha Gotama in context. It is short on the teachings and philosophy of Buddhism but I consider that a good thing in an introductory text.
If one wishes to explore the earliest teachings then one may wish to go on line to Access to Insight. The site has several self study guides and many essays that explain the teachings to the modern world. It also includes translations of the suttas. Here is a link to the index of the site.
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I like Karen Armstrong's books. And her background is so interesting.
forgot to mention that I did make it to my class this Saturday AND I even sat. Lots of monkey brain not focusing and I swear at one point, I was more asleep than meditating but still, felt good. Now if I can only make it an every day thing instead of just once a week. . . especially since the class is ending soon!
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Ah, the monkeys!!! I have an entire troop in my mind. I am so glad you had a good session. If you can't meditate then stay mindful.
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I have a lot of books in progress. One is a parenting book for Buddhist parents called "A Path for Parents" by Sara Burns. I am finding that alot of what I am reading---even though the book is focussed on parent/child relations-- makes me think of how I think about my relationship with my cancer, particularly not having control, even when we think we do and dealing with things we don't like.
Anyrate, to poke our little thread up to the top again, a quote from the Pali Canon that is in my book:
This being, that becomes;
from the arising of this, that arises,
this not becoming, that does not become;
from the ceasing of this, that ceases.
Perhaps one of us can put a favorite quote a day or so on this thread.
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Here is an excellent essay on the Sublime Attitudes by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. The essay is called "The Head and Heart Together." It can apply equally to the training of one's own mind as well as to the training of children.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/headandheart.html
"In the Buddha's most famous example of how to express an attitude of unlimited good will, he doesn't just express the following wish for universal happiness:
Happy, at rest, may all beings be happy at heart. Whatever beings there may be, weak or strong, without exception, long, large, middling, short, subtle, blatant, seen & unseen, near & far, born & seeking birth: May all beings be happy at heart.
He immediately adds a wish that all beings avoid the causes that would lead them to unhappiness:
Let no one deceive another or despise anyone anywhere, or through anger or irritation wish for another to suffer.
- Sn 1.8
So if you're using visualization as part of your goodwill practice, don't visualize people simply as smiling, surrounded willy-nilly by wealth and sensual pleasures. Visualize them acting, speaking, and thinking skillfully. If they're currently acting on unskillful intentions, visualize them changing their ways. Then act to realize those visualizations if you can.
A similar principle applies to compassion and empathetic joy. Learn to feel compassion not only for people who are already suffering, but also for those who are engaging in unskillful actions that will lead to future suffering. This means, if possible, trying to stop them from doing those things. And learn to feel empathetic joy not only for those who are already happy, but also for those whose actions will lead to future happiness. If you have the opportunity, give them encouragement.
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Hey universe. Today was CAT scan/Tattoo day. I was quite disconcerted about it this morning. When it was my turn, I recited Om mani padme hum to myself to try keep myself level and calm and it worked quite well. The techs congratulated me on my ability to keep still and be calm. Unfortunately, my heart is in the "wrong" place so I have to go back and do it all again tomorrow, well except for the tattoos [I hope!] with the ABC radiation machine.
Rads themselves starts in 2 weeks. I really want to get a little bit of sitting done each morning so I am thinking of having my oldest bring me up a cup of herb tea first thing in the am and I will go straight to the cushion for about 15-20 minutes. Then more chanting to self while they do the rads. I suppose if I really want to be efficient, I would structure my walk from rads to work as a walking meditation but perhaps that is a bit too optimistic.
Hope all others are doing well.
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Out of curiousity, has any other Buddhist had the experience of being told that they were atypically calm during a procedure? And if so, do you attribute that to some componant of your practice?
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I was told by my the techs during radiation mark up that they had never had a patient who was so still. They told me the process usually took a half hour longer with other patients.
My surgeon told me she thought I had an unusually upbeat attitude. When I asked her if other patients with my diagnosis and staging had more difficulty. She said that many had great difficulty.
I know that my meditation practice enables me to sit perfectly still for long periods. I know that since I started following the techniques of Buddhist meditation, I just plain don't suffer as much.
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I've also heard the good attitude part. After a while I confess that it annoyed me--why did I need a "good" attitude when I already had the "good" cancer? Now I just go with it. I can't control that I have cancer. Being angry or grumpy isn't going to make it go away--its just going to increase the stress in my life because when I'm angry&stressed, I just make those around me angry and stressed.
The one thing I'd like to be doing is getting regular sitting in. I just can't seem to get the time together at home. I have heard of people meditating at work---I have a private office and a door that locks. I'm thinking of hauling my travel zafu into work and just sitting at work during lunch.
Has anyone ever tried that?
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I had a co-worker who meditated every day as part of her plan to control blood pressure. She use her breaks. A few minutes twice a day is enough to see changes. You don't need a zafu. A chair will do as long as your feet rest firmly on the floor and you are sitting with a straight back. Set a timer for 10 minutes and that's all you need.
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Thanks notself! I'm going to try it.
........I just can't help thinking that actually meditating will be better than my dream meditation. . .though the part where my oldest wakes me with a steaming cup of tea to take into the meditation room has been quite nice. . . and then the alarm goes off!
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hmmm thought I posted something but. . . .
So today I was reading the May edition of Shambala Sun at rads and got to wondering, anyone here familiar with the Dharma Punx? Any thoughts? Theres a sitting group for them in Seattle--I am wondering,. . . . .
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It is standard operating procedure among all valid Buddhist traditions NOT to ask for money for classes. Meditation instruction and dhamma/dharma talks should be freely given. Donations are gratefully accepted but should not be solicited.
Other than above, why not check them out? You can always get up and leave.
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oh they don't ask for money, its the usual dana thing but I was more interested in thoughts on their philosophy which basically seems to think that there needs to be an American Buddhist tradition.....and I was wondering if anyone followed that way of practicing.
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I found this web site and did a quick review. http://www.dharmapunxnyc.com/instructions.html
The explanation of the Four Noble Truths and Noble Eightfold Path is basic but adequate. The instructions on meditation start out OK but end in a jumble of instructions that may be confusing to the beginner. There is a lot that is left out but that may be covered in the group sessions. There is nothing particularly special about Dharma Punx. It is more along the lines of Buddhism for Dummies.
I think Western Buddhism doesn't really need to be a goal or aim of a group. All that really needs to be done is to scrape off the Asian preoccupation with amulets, fortune telling, numerology and ritual. This would be taking Asian Buddhism back to the way it was originally taught 2500 years ago when the Buddha taught that amulets, fortune telling, etc. were bunkum. Of course there are many Westerners who like bunkum.
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