RESPECTING the STAGE threads **RANT**

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2010

    Good post Flash. It was kind of what like I was trying to say earlier. It's not the stage so much as the grade that makes the difference. At your point, you were treated for grade 3 cancer. Someone above "assumed" my papillary carcinoma was non-invasive and no big deal, but that's a lie. It is invasive and I had a double mastectomy! A pretty big deal to me!

    I'd rather be a stage III, grade 1, than a stage I, grade 3. In the first example, the cancer took longer to find, but is not aggressive. In the second example, the cancer was found quickly and is aggressive. 

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  • SandyAust
    SandyAust Member Posts: 393
    edited February 2010

    Barbe, do you really think so?

    I am (no actually was) stage 1 grade 3.  I don't think I would prefer to be stage 3, grade 1.  I KNOW I would rather be stage one.

    If I was Stage 3 I think I would feel exactly the same as many of the ladies here. I would want respect shown to the circumstances surrounding my stage.

    However the thing that upsets me is when my stage gets written off as nothing (not saying that has happened here).  I had a grade 3 invasive tumour just under 2cm and extensive high grade DCIS.  I lost my breast.  I did the chemo, puked my guts out and lost my hair.  I was also terrified as I was 36 and had two four year olds.  I have had some scares and tests begets tests and lead to more surgery.  I had half my thyroid out last year on suspicion of cancer.  This was a direct result of looking for a recurrence in my supraclavicular nodes due to swelling above my collar bone.  My oncologist won't release me, even after five years.

    I hate my experience being trivialised. However I absolutely would not prefer to be Stage 3 at a lower grade. In fact if I was Stage 3 I would be offended by that comparison.  That is not meant to be offensive to you Barbe but is simply how I view it.

    I really don't know why I am posting now.  The last time I posted on a thread like this was about three years ago and I cried until snot and tears poured out my nose and all over my keyboard. Not a good look...or feeling.

    Kind thoughts to all here.

    Sandy

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2010

    I think the real point is we dont' want to be ANY stage OR grade and of COURSE we all want respect! Just like I do. My point all along was to protect those of us who HAVE had "the cancer experience" as mentioned above and feel we have a right to be on these boards. Do I/we post in threads about brain mets if we don't have them? I hope not! Do I/we post in threads about surgery questions? I hope so!

    So just because a thread is started in the Stage III forum doesn't mean it should be off limits to all! That means that you will only get other stage III readers posting. What if someone who is, god forbid! a stage II that had the "experience" that you are asking about posts? Do you blast that person off the board or...have RESPECT for the poster and take the "experience" to heart?

    It goes both ways!

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2010

    And I should add, that before this gets blown out of proportion again, I got many, many PMs from ladies thanking me for my posts on this thread! I also got PMs saying that I had nothing to apologize for (that I did pages back). Very interesting that so many hold my view but are afraid to get a "negative" reaction by posting their thoughts! I am so sad that so many are afraid of this board.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited February 2010

    Ladies...let this thread die it's natural death, please.  The ONLY reason I posted was to thank hollyann publicly.  We've hashed and rehashed and voiced our opinions.  I'm pretty sure everybody on this forum is sick of seeing it hanging out on the top. 

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  • Nico1012
    Nico1012 Member Posts: 1,492
    edited February 2010

    AMEN, Bugs.

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