I'm having major anxiety! Help!

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Sukiann
Sukiann Member Posts: 310
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I was diagnosed last january 2009.  I went through lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and now hormonal treatment.  I am scheduled for a pet scan on friday because I asked for it.  I have always had aches and pains and now with arimidex I don't know what it what.  Ok, here's what makes me really unsettled.  Years ago (maybe 8 or so) I was diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts.  I had an area on my breast that was suspicious.  My obgyn at the time did a needle biopsy on it and it was negative for bc.  Everytime a doctor would feel this area in my breast I would tell him/her, oh yeah, that's been tested.  Last year when a lump showed up (I could feel it and it showed on the ultrasound) I totally forgot about this area from years ago.  I did have an ultra sound of my entire breast, including this area that was suspicious years ago.  Nothing showed.  I didn't bring it up because I guess I "forgot" about it??  I don't know why I didn't pursue it at the time. I guess I was so concerned about the new area.   Fast forward to this week.  I've been feeling up this breast and I can feel this area again.  It feels to me like the area of cancer that was found last year.  I'm freaking out.  What if this was cancer all along and it's been there for all these years.  Why oh why didn't I point the docs to this until now??  what is the matter with me.  A biopsy from 8 years ago should not have made me feel secure.  I feel so stupid.  Will the pet scan pick this up?  I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown because if this is cancer and  has been there for 8 years I'm sure it has spread.  help, please.

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited February 2010

    Hi Sukiann!  It's me Dawn from NH, met you at the brunch a month ago!!! Sorry to hear you are so scared!!!! Is this area on your cancerous breast?? You may be feeling scar tissue!!!If that breast had an MRI the cancer should had been picked up, mine wasn't picked up on MRI, but I had no tumor, just striations thru the breast.  Your PET Scan may pick it up, if you are so scared call your BS and have him evaluate you again!!!Have you had an ultrasound of that area, they can see alot on that if you did when you were DX I wouldn't worry!  Hang in there Girlie!  I'm praying for you!! Dawn

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited February 2010

    Hi Suki- The same thing happened to me, about maybe 17 years ago, I had a lump and calcifactions, both were biopsied and they removed the lump, was told it was dcis, back then they called it DCIS and not to worry about it, I never mentiond it to my dr, either, about 2 weeks ago I started thinking about it, and wondered too, why didnt I mention it to dr.??? And wondered if I have a recurrance now, Im going to see dr. next week, and will ask, if you ask and find out friday let us know what your dr. said, im very curious, dont feel bad about it tho, because after I started thinking about it, would it of made a difference in dx, or tx? I dont think so.... but would like to know as well. (((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you

    debbie

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  • lexislove
    lexislove Member Posts: 2,645
    edited February 2010

    Did you have scans with you BC diagnosis?

    Wouldn't "something" have shown up then? Just thinking.

    Sorry for all the anxiety.

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  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited February 2010

    Hi Sukiann! I feel your anxiety! I'm so sorry you're going through this.

    I can only tell you what I experienced at the beginning of all this.

    Had my mammo and MRI...found the tumor....did a biopsy.

    My onc ordered a Pet for that same week and the tumor that was biopsied did show up on the PET scan. I saw it with my own eyes. I guess the radiologist had taken some with the needle for the biopsy, but it was very obvious. Thank God everything else was clear.

    Sending you lots of hugs!! It's so scary at first, I know. Hang in there! You'll be fine.

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  • Morgan513
    Morgan513 Member Posts: 664
    edited February 2010

    Sukiann--

    This is Lorrie from our get together.  I am keeping you in my prayers and sending positive thoughts your way.  You should call your doctor and meet your fear head on.  I'm sure everything will be alright.  Did you have scans when you were diagnosed?

    (((Hugs)))

    Lorrie

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  • Sukiann
    Sukiann Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2010

    I never had a scan being stage 2 doc said they don't do them.  I can't have and didn't have an mri because I have an implanted defibrillator and the magnet from the mri would just rip it right out of my chest!  can't go near an mri machine. 

    Thanks for all your support.  I hate to say that I wouldn't be surprised but I wouldn't.  i'm supposed to have a mammogram next wednesday so my surgeon will be meeting me at the hospital (she meets with all her high risk patients every time we have a mammo which is good). 

    Coonie, so it should show on the pet?  I'm ok with that - well not really but at least I'll know. 

    This just sucks.  I don't know how I'm going to live my life like this.  I'm usually very upbeat but once I got to feeling around and then thinking about that spot I just freaked out.  Plus with the scan you just never know what they are going to find. 

    My hubby isn't home yet - it's 8:40 pm and he's not home from work.  Give you and indication of what type of job he has.  Works from 8 am until this late almost every night, then on the computer again after he gets home to do more work.  I just don't want to bother him with this.  He's so stressed with work I don't need him to worry about me. 

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening. I don't know what I'd do without you all!  xoxoxo 

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  • Gayleebug
    Gayleebug Member Posts: 166
    edited February 2010

    Sukiann~~

    If it's anything it should show up on a PET or a gamma ... but with your other treatments (systemic) like chemo it's not likely.  Hang in there... sending you good vibes.

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  • Morgan513
    Morgan513 Member Posts: 664
    edited February 2010

    Hey Suki--your husband sounds like mine!  You'll have to tell me where he works.  

    Take a deep breath and try your best to relax (better said than done, I know).  You sound like you have an awesome surgeon.  Wow.  

    Keep me posted or pm if you want!

    Lorrie 

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  • Sukiann
    Sukiann Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2010

    Lorrie and Dawn,

    I went to pm you but for some reason there was something wrong with pm application.  I couldn't put your name in.  Anyway, miss you guys!  We need another get together.  That was a lot of fun!  Dawn, so happy that your 3 month check up went well.  Lorrie - my hair is unmanageable.  I feel like Bozo the Clown!

    Debbie, lexislove, skimmingthelake and Coonie, thank you for taking the time to reply.  I NEEDED to tell someone about my fears.  We'll see, they just called and moved the scan to another hospital.  I'll go anywhere. If they have a scanner, I'm there!  It would be great if they had one at the mall so I could get scanned and my 16 year old daughter (birthday today!!!) could shop while I got scanned.  Humor helps me and I use it a LOT!  Gotta go get my daughter's permit soon - of course she's still sleeping - it's only 9:30 am after all.  If you're out on the roads after today wear a helmet in the car, anything to help keep you safe now that she's going to be on the road too!  hahahahaha! 

    I'll let you all know how it goes.  Thanks for your words of wisdom and prayers. 

    xoxo

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited February 2010

    Hi Sukiann!  Use your humor, I do too!  My daughter is 15 and will be able to drive in NH in May, and I share your concern!! You are probably fine, but it is soooo scarey when you feel a lump or bump. I bet they saw that when you were Dx and it is scar tissue! My hair is a mess short with no style and baby fine, you maybe Bozo, but I look like a little old man!!lol You are in my thoughts and prayers and  I look forward to another get together soon! Dawn

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  • Sukiann
    Sukiann Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2010

    Hi!  I got some great news today.  The pet scan was clear!  I told the oncologist about the lump in my breast and he said to check it out when I have my mammo on wednesday.  Most likely since it didn't show on the pet it is ok but in rare instances it still could be malignant. So on wednesday I will have it checked but I feel so much better.  Thanks so much for all your support.  You are all so wonderful!

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  • momand2kids
    momand2kids Member Posts: 1,508
    edited February 2010

    Hey there-

    I am late to this- was out of town- but it sounds like all is well. Having met you at our get together, I would say that whatever it is, you will be able to deal with it---  but it sounds like nothing---keep us posted. 

    carole

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited February 2010

    WOOT!WOOT! Allis well! so happy for you!  Take the neg PET and run!! I love good news!

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