Do/did people support you?

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  • rumoret
    rumoret Member Posts: 685
    edited February 2010

    Sitting here in my bed reading your posts on my iPhone so typing is slow. Just wanted to say we all have such similiar experiences. I have decided that everyone on this site are my best friends. There is no person who understands my feelings better than all of you here. I have found my strength by reading posts written by each of you during my low points. I am finding my way forward with all of your wonderful advice and compassion.



    Hugs to all my sisters here,



    Terry

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  • Caya
    Caya Member Posts: 971
    edited February 2010

    I too had a mixed bag - most family and friends were very supportive, also my neighbours were terrific -  a few people were very disappointing - but the good ones outweighed the shleppers. I used to send out a massive email after every chemo treatment, updating everyone on how I was doing etc. 

    Because I had a year's worth of Herceptin after 4 months of chemo, I think some people got "tired" of hearing my cancer war stories... and believe me, I did not really complain too much, but I did have to pace myself, etc.   I found great strength from the women I met on this board.  I joined the Jan. 2007 Chemo Sisters thread, and many of us are still in touch even now, 3 years out!

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  • Cecilia1949
    Cecilia1949 Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2010

    I guess I was lucky, but I have few very close friends and they were supportive.  My husband and daughters, especially the older one, were incredible, they were there for every moment.  The flip side of that is when you're out of treatment, they still treat you like you'll break if you aren't careful.  I'm 60 and my spouse still wants to drive me to work on snow days!

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  • jteach
    jteach Member Posts: 199
    edited February 2010

    Cancer sure lets you know who is a true friend.  I may forgive, but I'll NEVER forget.

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  • Katey
    Katey Member Posts: 733
    edited February 2010

    jteach, that's so true.  I still remember every person that called me back in '90, and those that didn't.  Same with this time.  I've talked to my daughter about if you ever have a friend or acquaintance with cancer or disease - call, don't even hesitate. The littlest things help.

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  • jeaniept
    jeaniept Member Posts: 49
    edited February 2010

    Cancer is a time when you find out just who your friends are, and later on, this will be a gift, because if a friend can't support you, they are not worthy of you. The only person who disappeard on me was a man I had just started dating. He had seen a good friend die of cancer, his Dad had cancer but is now healthy, and all he could say to me was, "I am afraid." I got that he could not see me through this; we only had been seeing each other 2 months. He showed his true colors, though. You will gain so many new friends now, this I can promise you, and they will stick around. Have you called a Support Hotline? I don't know what I would have done without my "peer counselor" throughout the last 8 months. I have also been to support groups, and that was such a relief, to be around women who had already walked the path I was just about to, and were strong and spirited.

    You can try getting in touch with your friends who have vanished and say simply "this is a rough time, and i could really use your support." True that sometimes people don't know what to say or do for you. When my friends asked what they could do, I answered: Could you bring me some groceries, or a takeout meal? Drive me to an appointment?" I even had one friend who did my wash, cleaned out the cat box and changed my bed. Another vacuumed my place. (I live alone, can't afford a maid, no boyfriend). People who love you will love to help you..you'll see. I hope your friends come around.

    xoxo

    Jeanie

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  • rubyredslippers
    rubyredslippers Member Posts: 228
    edited March 2010

    I basically found the same thing as foxyroxy. Once my treatment was over and my hair started growing back the 'support' - what there was of it, dried up. An old friend who never had anything to do with me the whole time during my treatment doesnt seem to realise why I no longer speak to her.

     

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