January Mastectomy

Robin - you have made me try to remember what I was doing last February.  Going back a little, my husband and I had had a rough 2 years and Nov 2007, I decided to go for broke.  We sat and I told him we fix it or we need to be done...well, we worked hard and fixed it...by Feb 2009 we were in a better place than we had been in YEARS.  I remember I had bought this batch of puffy sticker hearts with corny sayings all over them.  I ran around - all over the house, his breifcase, his van, his suitcase, everywhere-sticking these little hearts.  It took him about 2 weeks to find them all.  It was fun for him and me (and even the girls loved it).  During this whole time period, as we got things working again, I managed to lose 60lbs by summer 2009.   IF we had not had these past 2 years to fix our marriage....our marriage would not have survived the BC.  IF I had not lost the 60lbs, I would have been at high risk for surgery and would not have been able to have diep recon (would have been to fat and unstable for the length of surgery). 

I will say, I am really starting to believe in the "things happen for a reason" expression.  When I was 37, I went to my dr for a 'pain' I was having just above my breast.  He said it was tendonitis, but sent me for a mammo because my insurance would cover due to the pain.  He said, this way we will have a healthy base line for you when you turn 40.  My 40th birthday was in Sep.  I received a reminder card for my '40yr' mammo from the clinic he had sent me to when I was 37.  I don't know that I would have gone for a mammo on my own, but something about that card kept haunting me, so I went.....and of course, you know the rest.

I look at last Feb and it was one of our best, this Feb not so much, BUT next Feb....look out - it is going to be fabulous, for all of us!

Hi ladies,

I went to the PS today, the necrosis scabs are starting to lift but I don;t have any new skin so you can see the layer of fat cells, and it give off  a certain smell.  My husband assures me that only I can smell  it.  PS says its just the exposed uncover area that give off the rotten smell. He says he wants to wait to see if new skin forms, in the last 3 weeks only one eigth of the skin is new.  He will eventually take me to surgery to remove the large area of necrosis and pull some of the extra skin he left  to cover the necrotic area.  I just wish he would do that now,

Also I have been in the worse mood since starting tomoxifen, I had to stop it on Sunday.  I just remember why I had to stop birthcontrol pills.  I will be going for a second opinion soon. My medical oncologist just told me to stop them.  But there has to be something else so my chance of a new cancer is reduced.

any suggestions?

I started driving yesterday, I went back work and I am just exhausted.  I am going back in tomorrow.  How long did you guys take off or will take off for work.

maria

Morning Gals...

Good luck Lola with your CT scan.  I am praying everything will come out fine.  It has to.

I'm starting to freak out about an issue with my right incision line.  I have like a port wine stain that has accumulated below it.  It's been there for a while and I just assumed it was bruising.  Last night when I was in the shower, the skin over that area feels different...it's dry like sandpaper and not smooth like the rest.  Since I can't really feel anything I just haven't noticed the difference before?  Now I'm concerned it could be like the necrotic skin Maria is going through.  I soaped everything up nice and rinsed and patted dry and even put on a little aveno...I see the BS today so will ask her.  Does anyone else have this 'bruising' going on? 

Will also ask about PT...I do like the sound of that!

Good luck Kelly with your pain management...I'm sorry you experienced that.  I was horribly impacted the second week and now I"m taking a stool softener with every med that touches my lips.  Seems to work well.  I'm also afraid to take Motrin or Asprin products because of the fills and the exchange from TE to implants and the potential for bleeding.  So, it's still a vicodin or tyelnol.  I used to take 2 excedrin everyday of my life...I liked the idea of taking asprin and the caffeine it had was a bonus too.  What I wouldn't give for an excedrin right about now!

Have a good day girls!

Donna,

I know the drains are a pain, but you really do have to wait until there is less than 30cc total in a 24 hour period.  It is for your own good.  You wouldn't want that fluid just building up inside and potentially causing more problems.  We are all with you on the frustration.  I originally had 3 drains and begged the doctor to take them all out (when I knew the 3rd was no where near ready).  He took the two that had essentially stopped draining, but left the 3rd in for a few more days. 

Sleep is still an issue.  Just can't get comfortable.  Have a post op with the BS today.  Wonder what news the pathology report will bring?  Getting anxious about my first fill on Thurs.  Was reading some other threads and there is a lot of talk about pain.  Drains are all out and only have 1 antibiotic left to take.  Wonder if I should be taking the 800mg Ibuprofen at night (for relief) and if I should take it before the fills.  How long can you take that stuff before it causes something else.  You all know what I mean, of course.  I have to take iron because of the anemia and you know what goes along with taking iron!  But I started taking Dulcolax along with the iron and have to say they are cooperating nicely with each other.  Such a delicate balance. 

Robin, your words are the truth.  I must say early in my diagnosis, I met a BC survivor who has been especially nice to me.  She called one morning and knew I was having a bad day.  A few hours later, she appeared at my door with a gift.  It was a Willow Tree statue....it is a small figure holding a balloon that simply says "hope".  She told me I had to have hope.  I told her I didn't know where I was going to find it.  She said, I just gave it to you!  It is tough to find hope when you are in a state of despair.  But she also said something to me that I didn't understand at the time.  She said, surrender to this.  At first I thought that meant not to fight the cancer and I wasn't about to give in to it.  But I know now what she meant was ride the roller coaster.  Embrace the peaks and the valleys as part of the process.  It is easier than fighting all the emotions.  By all means wage the greatest war against the cancer and fight with everything in you, but that means just letting the emotions happen - as Robin said, take the time to cry.

God bless us all of my sisters.  Strength and Courage

Marianne

Marianne,

I would definitely advise taking meds before your fill.  It'll depend on how big your fill is as to the amount of pain... and for me, the actual fill wasn't painful, that came later.  But I also had a huge fill (150 cc's both sides) but I have heard from others that there is still discomfort, tightness and possible muscle spasms, so take the meds, that is what they're there for.  And if you don't get your sleep your body can't heal.  Also, I found that leaning on a heating pad across my back where the muscles were pulling and icing the front helped a lot.  And massage, my DH would give me massages on my back and shoulders, not too hard, and that helped a lot too.  Don't be afraid, it's not horrible and compared to what we've already been through and knowing where these fills are leading (the finish line!), it is so worth the discomfort and it is so doable.  I also read from someone that couldn't stand it and she went back in and had some taken out and that helped instantly.  So, if you PS does a big fill, just keep that in mind.  Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, just want to help if I can.

Paula

Oh my!  I'm sorry to hear the trouble many of you are having with fills.  Glad I decided to wait a bit.  Sleep comes and goes, but I'm actually doing okay.  I've started up Wii Active again and have been walking since the weather here in the Seattle area has been wonderful.  As for physical theraphy - one reason I love my BS is she insisted on PT at my one month visit.  The PT massages my muscles across my upper chest and armpit and my range is much better.  Went again last Friday and she started work on the lower muscles as these are now starting to tighten up.  I'm getting feeling across my incision and it feels weird.  She says she will start massaging the incision soon.  Insist on PT and find one that specializes in women's issues.  It was wonderful! 

On the subject of foobs -- I got mine yesterday!  I hated being lopsided and the little pouf that came with my camisole was hard to get the right shape and size and my 'mature' right breast just didn't have the same perkiness.  I had a very odd day at the fitting though.  Walked in and asked if I had to wait until my scar was completely healed (my doctor said I was fine - no swelling or leaking, so she was good to go) and the fitter said no and asked for my prescription.  I handed it to her and she looked at it funny and then looked at me and said "Brenda?" and I replied.  She is the wife of a former colleague (and friend) of mine.  I just started sobbing.  It was so strange.  Her husband and I have stayed in touch via email, but haven't seen each other in about a year.  On the one hand, it was nice to have someone you know, but kind of strange.  Anyway, got a very nice lighter weight foob (it is whipped silicone gel vs poured silicone gel, so it is a bit lighter).  It looks good and I feel I can now wear my regular clothes as I'm not lumphy!  Yeah!

As for guilt -- I totally understand.  I feel good, and look just fine.  I know that will change when I start chemo, which is the main reason I don't want to start -- I don't want to LOOK like a cancer patient.  Oh well.  Cathy -- main reason for waiting is I can't get in to get my port until the 25th of this month.  And I want to take next week off for my daugther's mid-winter break.  SInce I'm not working, and my husband can get the time, we'll just do some day trips and hit the coast for a few days.  Kind of my last hurrah before chemo. 

Lola -- best of luck today!

Sorry for the long post ... but sending wings of hope to all of you!

Brenda - congrats on the Foob!  One more step forward.

Kat and  Marianne good luck with your appts today.  Lola, let us know how you are doing.

Strength and Courage! 

Hey January  buddies. after 2 lumpectomy. I had rt breast mastectomy Jan 29th, Bearly got in before end of Month.They were not going to get me in til Feb, But I got it moved up , emotionally I could not wait any longer. It's been going on since abnormal mammogram Nov 2009 so I was getting impatient & In shock.

 I am feeling  pretty good except the Drain tubes. I saw PS Mon Feb 8 & was dissappointed he didn't removed drains, still over 25cc in each. Today I had 15cc more in one than yesterday, I feel like I am going backwards! I see my oncologist tommorrow. & then next week I see PS again he won't do  1st filler to expander  til both drains are out!

I got bummed,but found some chocolate  & felt better (Comfort food)

any way I hope of you are feeling Stronger every day!

Hug s

Gina Robinson

Hope we can help each other through all this

Kat- I'm glad things worked out okay for you today at the BS. It could of been worse. On the oncotype Dx I am also hoping for a low percentile, for I am dreading their thought of chemo. I guess I'll find out on the 19th. Keeping my fingers cross for both of us. I have a tea bad on my stomach for the boil or what ever it is.... is not going away. I took my last pill tonight.I'll call again tomorrow. We got alot of snow here today and boy did I feel it in my shoulders. No one ever mention PT for me. That's another question I will have to ask. All i have been doing since the 25th is eating. I can't afford to gain anymore weight. I need to get back to a regular routine.

Good night to all and feel well. In my thoughts and prayers all of you.

Donna

Get out of town!!

What are the odds that we'd have 2 from New Albany, Indiana in our circle!!!

Seriously.

I've been there.

It's a small place.

xx00xx00xx00xx

You can meet!

Sleep well my peeps!!

Tiffany Hugs to you!

I have found  lots of support  in just the few I have been on. Lots of help with ? . Ask any thing these girls are so helpful. I am about 2 weeks behind you on recovery, But I am here for you.

 Just remember to take time for your self!  Rest when you can.

 Hope your getting stronger everyday! xox

Gina Robinson

Gina, thank you so much for the response.  I feel like I am in a time wharp, just trying to cope on a moment to moment basis.  Just by reading these few posts, I see that we all have different types, stages, grades, etc.  I can also say that I have been somewhat frustrated by the media and how they depict breast cancer. Until it impacted me personally, I too was ignorant and thought my diagnosis was a death sentence. It didn't help that my first physician had a poor bedside manner and the biopsy was terrible. I ended up referring myself to a teaching institution where I am completing my doctoral training.   My mother just left a few days ago, she spent an entire month with me. It is sorta weird not having her here because now the ball is back in my court to keep things together. Right now, I am thinking about reconstruction, when to ask about it, chemotherapy (as I too do not want to look like I am cancer patient, although I am a cancer patient), how many courses I will need.  I have had a few people tell me that I look good and my response is, "how am I supposed to look?"  I have also noticed how others seem cautious to reach out to me, to talk about my journey, etc.  I had my last drain removed 2 weeks ago, but I am still in pain where the tube was underneath my former breast.  I feel as if I am rambling, but am grateful to have a safe place to gain and share support.

welcome to gina & tiffany

the ladies here are angels.  don't know what i would have done if they hadn't been here to pick me up.  tiffany, i notice you are like me, mostly--stage IIIa & er /pr +and her2 - ... i will be starting chemo in the near future--no real choice there. my bs sent me to a ps way before my surgery to talk about reconstruction--i am delaying that until all this is over-new boobs for next year.

 went to my first local cancer support group tonight at the hosp, and they seemed suprised to see me only 2 weeks out from surgery.  well,i needed to go.  really was helpful.  the social services gal there gave me info for my hubby for support.  there was a speaker from a local health supply co with pretty bras & various prosthetics, camisoles etc, she answered a lot of questions about reimbursement (who knew?) and  i was suprised at how well some ins co pay & what they do pay for.  she also had several freebees for us which was very nice.  the other speaker was on sex & intimacy--that was timely &helpful.  looks like a good group.  so ladies, check out the groups in your area--might be worthwhile.  a couple of ladies there also clued me into a local salon that will cut my hair & supply a free wig before chemo starts.  they also told me about a company that was advertised in oprahs mag that gives out a free head scarf to chemo patients.  will have to do a search for that, but worth checking into.  there are a lot of caring resources out there for us.  anyway, it was a positive experience which i needed after last week.

sally--hoping you have talked to your bs about the pus, that's scary.

kat, am so relieved the 'bruise' isn't too bad.  and what the heck is this about the smoking?   i had always been told that there was terrific benefit to quitting & lung restorative abilities.

cathy--hoping you don't need chemo.  my onc told me the onco type for me would be a moot point, as my tumor size & the fact the i have node involement with disease in the tissue make rad & chemo manditory.  i may have already said that, if so - sorry for the repeat.  but he did indicate that some of the other factors makes doing the onco type testing a waste.  and i am interested in your question about the vit e & massaging the site--no one has said anything to me either & maybe that is because it is too early, still all bandaged up....can't look at it anyway, how can i touch the bloody thing....

well, ta ta to all--i can still hear my gma saying that at the end of a phone call all those years ago - lola 

Morning all. 

Welcome Tiffany!  I am in the same boat with my mother.  She has been here almost 3 weeks and leaves tomorrow.  She cleaned out closests and cupboards and sent bags and bags of stuff to the Goodwill.   My 16 year old is about going crazy.   (I say, welcome to my world of growing up!  HA!)  She has been a big help though and some of the comfort food I've been getting...mmmmm...really brings back childhood memories.

Lola, I found that interesting about the support group you went to and smiled at the 'timely information on sex and intimacy'  I'm not sure I'm really up for a support group...this sort of forum is perfect for me but maybe I need to re-think that and try it anyway.  How did your CT go?  When do you get results from that?  Will it change your staging?   

My BS is one of the best in the business...she's in her early 50's and has even been published in regards to partial MX and micro-mets.  I think though that she is somewhat removed from the real modern technology here of late and still subscribes to an older school of thought.  I like her and my husband likes her...and I do have a 'team' of physicians including the Onc and PS so although I do value her opinion, her expertise is in surgery so I will go with that. 

I just so badly do not want to have chemo.  I had only micro-mets in one of 19 nodes so that's what made me a candidate for the Onco test but now I'm wavering.  I guess at this point I hope my score is either very high or very low...something extremely clear cut so I will feel satisfied with the decision moving forward.

I'm still on iron until the end of the month.  Is anyone else taking Vit C?  I still am but will ask the PS tomorrow.  I doubt he will do a fill tomorrow with this 'bruising' thing going on.  I'm also interested in the Vit E and massage.  BS's answer to that is "Ask him" (i.e. the PS) BS also said I could take anything asprin based but I'm leary.  I'm afraid of increased bleeding with fills and then the final switch to implants so I'll just stick with the tylenol for now.

Lyn, how is your lymphedema?  Are you doing alright? 

Have a gread day ladies.

Kat 

Kat - my mom has been at my house almost 3 weeks also, not sure when she is planning to leave. 

I am going to have to go to PS today for my drain.  It is still getting 100+ per day, and it's been giving me a little difficulty.  I have a little pouch I keep the bulb and all the tubing in, and I pin that to my binder.  Last night when I was getting ready for bed, I did not realize that some of the tubing had come out of the pouch.  When I stepped away from the sink, the tubing was around the knob on the drawer----ouch!  The stitches holding it in place are now sliding fee on the tube, and when I try to get 'suction' on the bulb, it makes a disgusting gurgling sound and fills with air--I guess I pulled it enough that some of the holes must be 'free'.  Thankfully it doesn't hurt, but I am dreading to think what they will have to do to fix this.  It was already having issues with pus and a little soreness around the opening.....ugh.