Need Support...please put in a good word for me

Well, I am in the hospital with a ruptured appendix and serious infection. I've had abdominal pains since last Thurs. nite...just thought it was a bug that would run it's course. Our power went off and driveway/road iced to impassable Fri. morning. As pain continued, I felt more than ever like a captive to "the year of drastic changes" in my state of health. Outside was the most glorious winter wonderland, inside the greatest fire and good food.....and I was taking my temperature every two hours, staring at food I couldn't bring myself to eat and wondering if an ambulance could make it up the mtn. if we were forced to call for help.

The pain continued with the same intensity. Honestly, it was completely tolerable when I sat or would lie down but rolling spasms and extreme sensitivity when I tried to stand upright or walk. When I persisted, it would calm down and I'd get a thing or two done then sit down to begin the whole process again.

Power came back on Sunday night just in time for a warm bath and bed. The world was looking better. My husband worked diligently all day Monday to get the driveway cleared and our truck out...done by late Monday evening and we confirmed that the road was passable. I said we'd go to the emergency room (knew they'd insist on scans ) first thing Tuesday and not risk black ice traveling Monday night.

Drove to the next town (nearest hospital on my insurance provider list) Tuesday. "Bloodwork shows your liver and pancreas are fine but you have a UTI".  '

"But I've never had a UTI hurt like this. It is a different pain."

"Maybe we should do a CT scan then. Drink this."

I drank the barium and promptly threw up half of it. But the scan went on, thank God.

"Well, this teaches me again to always listen  to the patient [I was heartened to hear this]. You have appendicitis and will have to go to surgery as soon as the drink clears your system. The surgeon is looking at the scan now."

Time passed and one person or another would come in to ask another question for the surgeon who was in an OR upstairs. "You did have a hysterectomy in 1999?"..."Are you SURE you had your ovaries out?"...

I tell my husband "something lit up on the scan that they cannot identify". Worry, PTSD, worry some more.

Finally, I was admitted at 5pm with news I wouldn't be having surgery last night unless the situation worsened. Superpower antibiotics were started. The surgeon came in at 9;30 to say he and the radiologist had gone over and over the scan and determined that my appendix is already ruptured and  encapsulated (actually good news) by a lot of wicked infection. It is safer to stay and get super doses of antibiotics for several days before making a decision about an appendectomy.  If he attempts surgery now, he will have to remove the opening to the appendix, part of the intestines and try to get out all the infection along with the appendix....major risky surgery.

Today the pain has subsided somewhat and I have been able to catch up on some of the sleep I've lost. I'm on a clear diet in case antibiotics fail and surgery has to happen and IV fluids...weight was down to 96 lbs. yesterday. I haven't weighted that little since middle school, which we called Junior High . My onc is not going to like that...and I don't either.

Honestly I'm as afraid of this kind of abdominal infection as I am of cancer. One takes you hostage quickly and the other likes to steathily creep around your body establishing its territory, one place at the time. It does feel strange to be worrying about something other than BC now.

Looks like I'll be here several long days.  I'm asking for support, good energy, prayers for wisdom from all the Goddesses and prayers for strength from every God beloved by members of this site.

 My Stage 3 sisters are in my thoughts and prayers everyday and I send love to you all.

Molly