You know what I hate...rant!

This stuff makes me so mad, why would anyone in there right mind complain to someone they knew had cancer and went through treatment? I have had this happen to me many times since dx and I always say the same thing. Maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to, call a friend that hasn't had cancer and complain about wanting bigger boobs or acting like a mammogram is the most painful thing in life. Or they really get stupid and say something like I could never do what you did, I wouldn't have done chemo. My response to them is I hope you never have to make that choice. It all goes back to the saying if you have nothing good to say then say nothing at all. I have hung up on people mid conversation when they go on and on about something stupid. I know I;m a monster for not understanding why, the store not having the shoes you wanted in your size completely screwed up you week. Or the lady at the salon didn't double rinse your hair so now you have the frizzes. Come on people life is to short to complain about shoes and hair, and yes I was like this before dx.

I have been around to many sick people to complain about stupid things. OK I'm sorry I went off on my own rant but you got me going

My point is you have every right to rant, sometimes we need to vent and get upset. Rant on my friend, we are here to listen. BTW can anyone tell I'm in a real bad mood?

I also love a good rant! Even before my diagnosis I had no patience with people complaining about trivial things all the time. All the negativity drags me down and is a waste of precious time. Thanks for starting this thread, I feel less of a grumpy old woman now.

Just reading this thread makes me feel good.

I hate to post non stop but one of my friends who didn't know about it, when I told her she said to me ;Oh thats nothing those days everybody getting it; and went on with her anxiety attack problems.

And I have a father who calls me every day with a new symptom of something. and complaints about even if his leg is itchy. i think he needs attention, but I had it. Finally I told him I was going out of town for 2 days.

I came from a family that everybody was a drama queen if they didn't like what they heard, they used to get migraines, or dizzy, and their blood pressure went up.

I lived like that until I was 20 and got married.

I'M sorry and Thank You for listening to me.

People should understand that our BC is not about them its about us

Sheila

I love this thread...I am known as the poster person for positivity at my onc office, church and with my friends because honestly...they just don't get it!!! If I am having a bad day I say so, but for the most part I just say I am doing as good as can be expected.    I just love watching peoples eyes glaze over when I actually do 'answer' a question about my TX and  I am so tired of explaining  what a compression sleeve is!  I have also been very sad at how my family and friends aren't there for me.  Sometimes I feel like I am the only one working to maintain friendships/relationships.   I know everyone had their own 'life' issues but HELLLOOOO...I have spent the last 10 months having my breasts squeeze flat, severed from my body, foreign material implanted under my chest muscles, expanded till I felt like I was going to pop, had an automatic drip system installed so that poison could be delivered directly into my heart and circulatory system to kill an stray cells that may be remaining, have gone into chemical menopause, started hormone blocking drugs to make sure the menopause sticks, started a new job, dealt with insurance crap,  financial issues and mounting debt and yet I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PICK UP THE PHONE to say hey...how are you????!!!!

Wow That felt GOOD!!!!!

Oh, carol, don't even get me started on Mothers.! As you say, i could go on but I won't!! LOL!

Until next time!!

Hi Girls

Just got a lovely e- mail from my sis....( I did say I loved her yesterday so karma wont bite me in the....)

The jist of it was how sorry she could not be there more for me how much she loves me(I am crying right now)....How she prays daily it went on and on ....my last rads is on Fri and she wants to take me out for lunch,her big problem is she does not drive(silly girl)...but i am taking her up on a lunch ...we need to do that.

Much love all

C

I needed to find this thread today.  I've just had two calls from my 87 year old mother and my sister-in-law.  The jist of their messages was that I should get my lazy fat ass back to work and get over it.  The chemobrain, neuropathy etc are all just in my brain (no pun intended). Go back to work and all will be fine.  Both of them had breast cancer about 5 years ago, but it was a totally different animal.  They were stage I and had lumpectomies with rad.  Totally different from the stage 3 class 3 her2nu + beast that I  was blessed with. 

Somehow they think that if I went back to work teaching kids with Learning Disabilities and Behaviour designations I would be fine.  I CAN'T MULTITASK. I'm not ready to be responsible for a gerbil let alone my students.  I'm getting there but it is a slow process.  I think the biggest issue with them is that I don't look sick and I exercise. 

Thank heavens for my DH. He turns off the stove when I forget, locks the door, turns off my computer when I walk away etc. and doesn't make a big deal about it.

Hugs to all. Rant away when you need to.  It's much better than holding it inside.

Regarding the sister who had PTSD from your cancer -- here's a classic:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41449

This has been stuck in my craw for a couple of months now. A very good friend who lives in another state intimated to me that she was offended that I didn't immediately tell her about my diagnosis. I told her about a month later; fact is, I didn't tell many people - PERIOD - for a lot of reasons - which she knew - so she shouldn't consider herself slighted. For the first month after my diagnosis, I was too busy seeing doctors, getting tests, having surgeries, feeling terrified, and coming to grips with the poop omelette that had landed on my plate to play the town crier. Sorry that I didn't tell my story on your schedule, dear. Ironically, she's the kind of person who dribbles out information in such a way that you never feel you have the whole story. She just recently told me the truth of why she broke up with a former fiancee, and that happened 20 years ago! I'm really just stunned that she could be so petty, because she's usually a very warm & fuzzy type of person.

The support group thing did NOT go well with me. I went the first time and was like ,"eh." So decided to give it another chance.

I was still going through chemo and had so much anxiety. I was a mess to put it lightly. Then a woman twice my age, was just diagnosed with DCIS. She was asking me about my disgnosis ect...then she had the nerve to say that HER breast cancer was not the deadly kind.

At the time, I was speechless.....if that was now, she would have gotten a lot worse. Ill never forget her face.

I love this thread!!!

Cherniski...you have such a wonderful way with words....I hope I spelled your name write...I just scrolled up to look at it and then when I went to write it I couldn't remember the correct spelling!!!  So forgive me if it is wrong.....but keep speaking up....you say what many of us are thinking...or at least what I am thinking!!!!!

Its sad to think that there are so many plain old stupid people out there who don't think before they speak....and since when is BC a competitve sport!!!!  Geeze....I can't believe what we have all had to endure in insensitive comments.....yes...we get it...because we got it (BC)!!!!  Hugs.

Kay.I was so looking forward to turning 50 and celebrating...well I celebrated all right, but it was recovering from chemo round #3!! so I think I've just gotten to not wanting to make anything out of my b'day....I want it to be a non-event....when the day comes I'm okay, but I don't anticipate it....I just want it to be another day of the weekI!!!  guess its not wanting to be disappointed...but I agree with you, it beats the alternative.....I guess this is different than whining about a b'day...

I keep saying it....I love this thread!!!