You know what I hate...rant!

Oh, I could go on about this subject relating to my sister at the minute, she always has some crises or other that is going on. My goodness. And again, all of her own making. Not that I wish her any ill obviously, but I did say to my husband that I wonder if she would feel the same if she was really faced with a life threatening situation.

And I hate the preface "I hate to go on about this to you, after all you have been through, but,,,," If you hate to go on about it, then don't. 

Oops, sorry, guess you toughed a nerve in me too! LOL!

haha, Kerry I have the same thing going on with my sister.  She just came down to visit with us in Fla. and she was so bloody annoying!!!!!  AHhhhhh, so glad I can just write this down!!!  I have told her many times just that,  she needs a life threatening moment to put it all in perspective.  But, that won't happen, because until you've experienced it, people like that just do not get it and there's no use trying.  "Pain" really is subjective. 

Mary just read your post ...that is exactly what I have gone through with my sis I love her dearly and she is a 2x cancer survivor...but right now its about me(is that bad ?) ...I was there for her when she was going through her cancers...she seems to be finding lumps and bumps...and then saying Phew it was nothing .,she had none of this before I was diagnosed..dont get me wrong I am very thankful that she is ok ..I just dont think she knows where I am right now in this journey.

ml C

Ok my sister was the one when I was  newly diagnosed to inform me she had talked to her doctor about my diagnosis  and her doctor said ...OH I had a patient with those stats went on to develop bone mets ...but lived 20 years longer .....THANKS that made me feel better...but I did not say anything...and WHY are you talking to your doctor about ME !!! GAAAA...I still love her !!

My 5 year out is coming soon and I am nervous but God forbid if I even say anything to my friends or certain family members. They jump on me saying  ;I don't even want to hear about it, its all behind you" and believe me I hardly say anything about my BC.

I have my 4 month appointment with my Oncologist on March 1st, yes I'm nervous as I was every appt the last few years.

Sometimes I really believe people are afraid about their own fears and as long as they don't hear you mentioning the C word everything will be fine.

Everyminute..Thank you for opening this thread. I feel better just hearing other BC sisters facing the same issues.

Sheila

i've got this sis..

shudder.. she's so negative  - she's always been this way.  i love her but try to avoid spending too much time with her.   We got together to rehearse for a wedding (she sings, i play) and all she did was rant and rave about the priests, parishioners, her job..

focus sis focus

everyminute, maybe your sister has PTSD from the trauma of - HAVING A SISTER WHO HAD BC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor thing.

I once managed to (nicely) stop someone in her tracks when she was about to begin a rant about how HARD it was to deal with her food allergies and how she had to be constantly vigilant. I started to talk about how, while it was difficult, wasn't it a blessing that all she had to do in order to stay healthy was NOT eat certain things. A pain in the neck but not a crisis. Since I also have severe food allergies she reluctantly agreed - I think she realized it would be futile to continue (she did not know I ws going through treatment for bc a the time).

I had a friend who used to visit me frequently while I was going through treatment. A lot of the times we would talk about her problems in her marriage. I didn't feel like it was negative (for me) that we talked about this. Well, first of all marital problems, while not bc, ARE serious. Also, the fact that she confided in me and asked me for ideas made me feel NORMAL, like she saw me as LEAH and not  LEAH WHO HAS BC.

But then again, she didn't have PTSD from having a sister with bc....

Leah

Wow, I am not sure what is up with this story on ranting-but responses sound so very harsh. If anyone needs to rant, feel free to do it on my PM. People are simply doing the best they can and some don't have a lot of tools to deal with life. And we all have choices about WHO went invite into our homes and who we want to spend time with! Acceptance of people, places and things has to be most important for me. I cannot expect a person with 'no legs' to walk to me. Again, I likely do not have full story as I have 'chemo brain' and not read back threads, but this rant at the beginning seems really angry and negative!! Sorry if I have misinterpreted. This just jumped off the Board at me and ouch! Blessings and Serenity Prayers to all, SV

Rant away.................it we couldn't come here to rant, vent and talk where else could we go?  Friends, family and co-workers don't understand where we're coming from.  They try the best that they can, but at times offend and upset us because they just don't get it.  Coming here to vent helps us get it out of our system so that dealing with the people who may have said or done something insensitive is a little easier. 

Rant.............rant...........rant.........

You know, I am always attracted to posts that have the word "rant' in them!! LOL!

Our sisters should all get together and have a neurotic sister club!! Even when I was diagnosed, it became all about her. When i was waiting for my scans to come back she was a mess, had everyone running around after her, my mother even said to me "well, it's been so hard on her". Yeah, imagine being me for a second. I really could go on and on.

Right now she has got herself into yet another financial mess, and keeps on doing stuipid things with money, then wondering why they are broke.

Anyhow, luckily she lives on the other side of the world from us - lets hear it for Caller ID!! I really am not sure Angus could cope if we lived in the same country! LOL!

I have spent a lot of time and effort managing the whole communications process out to friends and business associates because I did NOT want to be viewed as the "poor breast cancer victim".  I think most of them still see me as "their friend Claire who is going though a bit of a tough time".

That was important to me.

My sisters were worthless in terms of any moral support prior to my diagnosis with energy flowing outwards.   This has not changed.  One has sent me flowers several times, but is otherwise very demanding, and the other would just rather not be bothered.

So I am looking towards my friends, and I do get what I need.  Just got the most wonderful birthday greetings from my Facebook friends from across the world.  That means a lot to me.

As for negative, whiny, sappy complainers, they will continue to be with us.  Some are on these boards.  When I read these posts (and I am not talking Stage IV or newly diagnosed BC who are scared which is a different story), I take the learning and move on.

Because focused on the positive, and a new and wonderful life post treatment, is where I what to be.  As for the BC, I have already kicked that sucker to the curb.