January Mastectomy

Good Morning All.

No school here today.  My daughter would be doing the happy dance if she were awake.  I'm awake at 0430 because the bendryl only lasts so long. I'm no able to lay almost flat on my back with my head resting on a side pillow...kind of gives the illusion of sleeping on my side when I'm not. Also gives a stiff neck in the morning.  gads.

I was supposed to see the BS today but am not going to risk going into a ditch or even a minor fender bender with this condition.  All she is going to do is poke and prodd anyway...I can skip it I think.  My incisions look ok but the swell underneath has this orange peel look about it.  PS said that was normal last week so I'll stick with that.  My right armpit is ok...still sore.  No lumps or swelling just tight. 

Robin, be careful with frequent aspirations of your drainage...the body is an amazing thing and will keep producing more and more if it sees the aspiration as a 'shortage' and you will run in to a viscious cycle.  Try drinking lots and lots of water and see if it will start cancelling each other out.  Sometime empyting the drains to frequently (enticing the vacuum process) will produce more drainage too.  Of course you don't want them heavy and pulling either so take this with a grain of salt.

And yes to the rocks under your chest!  Although I always thought they were more like small flat cans.  I've got these dimples at the top of my 'breast' where it comes in line with the armpit.  I'm not sure if that's because the TE isn't inflated or if it's because I was so large breasted before this happened and now I'm not and I have too much skin.  I'm just so surprised he was able to give me an initial fill of 250cc....this leads me to believe that they didn't take as much skin as they probably should have.  Now I've got this imaginary fear of having breast tissue on the underside of the said skin when I probably don't have a clue of what I'm talking about.  At least my husband can see me now in my Cami and my A cup size.  baby steps. 

You must be an incredibly strong woman Maria!  The wound vac sounds like the perfect solution after they debride the area.  Prayers for healing!

Sally, your toes sound like my lips.  I woke up with a fat lip after surgery and they could only account for them ripping the tape off the intubation when I was done.  When I went in for round 2 a week later I said 'Hey, easy on the lips ok?'  They were all sheepish.  My bottom lip is still numb in the center.  Kind of pisses me off you know?   

Also, my sternum is very tender and it's very difficult to tolerate even the lightest of fabrics over my chest.  I sit on the couch holding out what ever top I'm wearing so it doesn't graze.  Extremely sensitive. 

Well, maybe it will be back to bed for me....have a great day everyone!  Stay Safe!

Kat

Oh and Marianne (and our foursome), we watched some golf on TV last night...The Biggest Break..Anyone seen this? America's Next Top Model goes Realty Golf:)...and I can't even imagine swinging a club.  It hurts to watch.   I think my golf this season is going to be limited to Swingers (hit and giggles girls...get your minds out of there!)  Where you can ride around in the golf cart for 9 holes socializing and then have a nice meal <margarita> afterwards. 

This is a good image warm inside with 6" of snow outside!
Kat 

Kat:  I know, I can't imagine trying to swing a golf club right now, but that is a few months away!  A lot can change by then.  I guess we just have to except that we'll have to basically learn how to swing a club all over again.  My husband says that I'll probably be better than before with my new girls.  haha!  It wouldn't take much for me to get better, I wasn't very good to start with!  haha!  Anyway, guess we just have to keep doing our exercises (which I haven't done since my fill, need to get back to that, today would be a good day for that).  I have a really good dvd that I ordered that is made especially for us, the BC sisters!  It's call Strenght & Courage (sound familiar!?), exercises for Breast Cancer Survivors.  It is broken down into different sections.  The first section is for the day after your surgery, just a few light stretches and then the next one is for after your drains come out basically,  it has the walking your hands up the walls and some other good moves.  Then after that comes the flexibility training, and then weight training and then to aerobic exericise.  but they encourage you to master one before moving on to another.  I orderd it off the internet before my surgery.  I am sad to say that I didn't start it right away like I planned, but I figure at least if I do it some, it's better than nothing.  I think it was about $20 and part of that goes towards cancer research.  One of the ladies that helped create it was an avid golfer and used the exercises to help her golf again, so bonus!!!  Here is the website if anyone is interested...  www.strengthandcourage.net 

Bless & Release!

Paula

I am definitely going with silicone.  They are softer and more realistic.  I guess I'm not sure I understand your husbands thinking...  I don't think there are any guarentees on either kind is there?  I know that I have read and my PS said that the new silicone are much better than they used to be.  Someone posted a youtube link to show a demo of the silicone implants, showing how when you try to cut them open they all stay together instead of oozing out all over.  I can't remember if it was on here or in another thread.  I'll see if I can find it.  Either way, you know that the implants will be better than the TE's.  I'm sure that you would be able to to switch them out later if you wanted to though... Here is the link...   www.youtube.com/watch?v9vFyAEggJSw (hope it works, it wouldn't let me copy and paste so I had to type it)... if it doesn't just go to youtube and do a search for silicone implants, it's durability between saline and silicone implants, a dr. is doing the demo.

Snowing here, too.....6" on the ground, and it's still coming down!  Kids are out of school, and nearly everything is shut down.  I only work part-time, but Tuesdays are one of my days to teach....so this "sick" day is now a "snow" day, to be made up at the end of the year.  This is the 3rd of my "sick" days that will not be taken as a sick day....I guess that's a good thing - maybe this is one of those silver lining things....I might need them later.  I had more than enough to cover these weeks off, but maybe God knows I'm going to need more for later - who knows?

Thanks for all the feedback on the TE's. 

Go figure on your toes, Sally...that is wild!  Kind of funny, though....but not the pain, of course!

I've given up on the benedryl.....after taking it for so long, it stops being effective for me.  But at least it helped a great deal when I first really needed it!  It was a true life saver.

As for my fluid build-up, I'm finding it's my right arm that's building up the most - I've read some other gals have been told to limit their movement because of this.  I'm right handed, and tend to use my right arm more.  I also have less motion in my right arm, so I've been trying to exercise it more - which is really wild, since I had only ONE node (as opposed to four in the left arm) taken, and the right side was my GOOD side!!  argh...  It's almost like a punishment for going extreme to being preventive....(and to avoid tamoxifen)....sigh.

Everyone, have a great day....stay safe, continue to heal, recover, praying for all....blessings...robin

Kat - even though it wasn't directed at me, thanks for the heads up about the antibiotic and drains. (Never occured to me)  I finished my Keflex yesterday morning, and still have my ab drain and probably will for a while (still over 90 per 24hrs).  I called my BS office and they said I def. need to be taking antibiotic as long as I have my drain.........would have been nice if they had mentioned that at my appointment.  So off we ran to the pharmacy this morning through the snow storm to get me my new rx.     

I woke up Sunday morning with pain and swelling in my right arm (the lymph node removal side) I placed calls to my PS who was concerned it may be a blood clot (but it wasn't really hot or red) He said I should call my BS or go into the emergency room. I called the BS and the on call doctor was also concerned about blod clot but told me to take aspirin, ibuprofen, elevate the arm and use low temp heating pad. And if it got significantly worse to go to the ER. Honestly my concern was for lymphedema. It feels like someone squeezing the muscle in my upper arm too tight. And there are very tender spots where if I just touch it - it hurts. It feels thick and tight. Monday I get a call from the BS's office telling me to come into the office asap. Sit there for 2 hours before being seen. He decides to get an ultrasound to rule out blood clot. But the ultrasound is the office across town so I have to race across town to that office and quess what... I sit for 2 hours   Finally have the ultrasound - no blood clot. And thats it. I guess if it is lymphedema they would have realized that? I feel like I have been jerked around and still have the pain and tenderness in my arm. It doesn't seem to be be as swollen. Ugh.  I have never been giving exercises nor has anyone talked to me about what to watch out for regarding lymphedema.

Hugs & hugs & prayers & prayers & hugs.

It does indeed seem that at times we are each "inventing-the-wheel" for our own case. Which just shows we must educate ourselves and be our own best advocates -- whatever the issue: from lymphodema, to prescriptions, to necrosis,  to pathology, to treatment, to sleep, to emotional side effects, to range-of-motion etc etc etc.

Much easier said than done.

Here's a reading by author Carolyn Larsen, called "Comfort When you Hurt."

"Physical pain usually triumphs over whatever you are trying to do. When your body hurts it is difficult to think about anything else. Pain is all-consuming. It's hard to care about others and it's hard to concentrate. Ongoing physical pain wears down your endurance and your attitude. Hope becomes a mere memory. Where do you turn? How do you combat the hopelessness of pain?

You must be open to receiving comfort. You cannot be comforted if you put a wall around your heart. Ask God to fill your heart with reminders of His care and concern for you. Accept comfort and help from those around you. Your body will tell you what it needs: rest or medication. Pay attention to it.

Remember that God loves you, especially in your pain. He wants you to focus your thoughts on His love and care for you. Remember that you are not alone."  

I guess I have been fortunate in my 53 years not to have ever experienced the need for physical recovery. I must confess that the unrelenting nature of the tightness and the vampire bites and the impact to my range of motion etc has all come to bear on my 'spirit' over the last 24 hours.

This little snipit acknowledged how I feel. The 'ongoing' nature of all of this has worn down my reserves of endurance. The monsoon rains outside the windows parallel my feelings today. Enough already. Enough. Our thread here, reminds me of the final line: "Remember that you are not alone" as you have been my life raft. It's so encouraging to see that some are up to the challenges of re-integrating & returning to work and responsibilities.  There in lies hope.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Lyn,

After my axillary node dissection and SNB, I was instructed to start raising that arm as soon as I could.  Stretch and stretch again.  The breast surgeon actually showed me how and showed my husband as well.  Make her do it, she said, even if it hurts a litle.  I did (and it did hurt) and I could even see a tendon stretch, but it feels fine now (AND on 12/10).  Use the internet to find out everything you can about Lymphodema (this website and others).  I am sorry you got the runaround! 

Marianne

counting the minutes to leave for my ct scan & terrified.  hubby says i have been --well lets just say grumpy - this morning.  plus he decided he wants to sell the 5th wheel--i am devastated.  want my arizona time!!!!!!!!!  i know he is panicking--he was a widower when i met him.

lyn--ask about a referral to the lymph clinic--they are sending me to the physical therapy clinic for both--physical therapy & lymph issues.  the onc explained the pain to me as being caused by the irritation to the nerve when they took out the lymph nodes.  it's a syndrome girls...very real.

off i go....sniff

I just got my referral for PT in the mail today. I have been on the phone to get into a PT clinic nearby. The earliest that I could be seen by their senior female therapist is next Wednesday, so I will have to be patient until then -- continuing with my own arm raising exercises and walking the wall etc. Eager to see what else can be added to the mix.

xx00xx00xx00xx

ariesrottie,

I am a huge Bon Jovi fan too and really want to go to the two concerts close to my area (Nashville and Atlanta).  I haven't bought tickets yet because I usually do ebay and get the seats I want.  I have went to over 20 concerts and there is just nothing that can compare to it!  Last time On Lost HIghway I had second row center seats and loved loved loved it!.  I don't know if I will be up for it or able to really afford the seats I want but I hope so.  Good luck to you.  Nothing better than a little Bad Medicine!

Becky

Becky,

Glad you are getting drains out.  My PS said he would try to fill the one TE that he had to deflate in surgery.  He suggested 100cc......Should I beg for less?  I am in no hurry either.  Is there a reason for the amount?  Do they have a timeline?  Guess I'll ask.

I, too, can't believe how well we are all doing, despite a few more setbacks for some.  I never thought I would feel this well.  Actually put make up on and went out to buy "thank you" notes today.  Feeling almost human again!

Marianne 

Well, when I asked my BS about PT, he didn't seem to think it was necessary - maybe because I didn't have reconstruction.  But I probably don't need it, though.  I didn't start my exercises until the drains came out and my ROM is back to normal, as near as I can tell.  I can feel my skin pulling under both arms (mostly my right arm - my "good" side), but all I did were the exercises in the Reach to Recovery book the ACS sent out.  Of course, I only had four nodes taken from the left side, and one node taken from the right, so I have it made easier than most.  But my chest is cut from under one armpit all the way to the other, with only about an inch (at the sternum) that isn't. 

Debbie, I think the emotions, pain, etc. all come and go as ocean waves and roller coaster hills.  There are the good and the bad, the sad and the happy....and I think it's OKAY that we allow ourselves to experience them all.  No matter where our diagnosis has taken us - we each have had our lives turned upside down the past few months.  And we've gone places, and have had to do things we never dreamed of last year this time.  Who knew we'd all be chatting together like this right now February, 2009??  Last year this time, I was nagging my then, 17y.o. son to complete scholarship applications as he was completing his senior year of high school - wondering how in the world I was going to handle it when he actually DID graduate.  My mom and I were counting down the days to go on an 8 day cruise together (just the two of us - she's a widow) for an early celebration of my 50th birthday.....WOW.  Little did I know what was lurking in MY future.....glad I didn't.

So, you know what?  We let ourselves grieve....we let ourselves cry....we let ourselves be down....then, we pick ourselves right back up, and keep on going....onward and upward.  It might be cancer, but as those sappy little things all say, it might take our breasts, or our hair, or whatever, but it can't take away our spirit, our spunk, our fight, our right to live, our enjoyment of life, and everything else!!!  And it certainly can't take away our love for our families, our love for God, and our newfound friends!!!  (for which I thank God for AND pray for daily!!!)

blessings.....robin