cancer on my mind ... ALL the time

Hey there, njdalex10, yes you are making sense!  This is a hard thing to go through and no one can know how they will react.  It is hard to not obsess about what is happening to your body. 

I agree that it is good to figure out something else to focus on so that you aren't thinking about your diagnosis all of the time.  I have found that I can write out my thoughts, and then close my journal for awhile and it sort of contains my thoughts for a time.  Journalling can be a powerful tool.  You also might try a guided imagery CD, I have a friend who swears by that.  When I find myself really down, I also try to go for a short walk.  I know you are in the middle of treatment, and that going for a walk might not seem realistic, but even a really short walk, just in front of your house even, can do a world of good on changing your outlook.  Finally, I see that you have just started posting.  You might scan the different forums and see if there is a thread that you can join in on, I have found that threads that have folks with a similar diagnosis are really helpful.

Hugs to you, I will keep a good thought for you.

Susan

There's nothing wrong with you!  I think what your feeling is totally normal.  Every breast cancer patient I've ever spoken with feels like they can't get it out of their mind.  I have spent my career working with high school kids.  You know how they say that teenage boys think of sex about 50% of the time?  Well, I feel like that except I'm thinking about breast cancer.  This means that I have to fit 100% of my regular thoughts into 50% of the time...and it's not working too well!  I think that's why I feel so distracted.  I will echo what the women above have said: any distraction is a good one.  Talk on the phone, read trashy novels, go out for a walk, borrow a friend's toddler.  I also find that I feel worse when I'm by myself and better when I'm out of the house and with other people.  I have also seen a counselor at the cancer center.  She's been an ear to listen when I didn't feel like I could inflict my worries on my husband and family. Hang in there! Good luck to you!

Yeah, I'm another one who can't stop thinking about the cancer.  It's constant, and it's consuming me.  I felt like I was much calmer during chemo when I knew I was actively doing something, but now that I'm done with chemo, I find myself consumed with the fears and "what ifs."  I don't know if this is telling me that  it's time to go on an antidepressant/anxiety drug, or if it is time to see a therapist to help me get past this. .. . I just don't know how to change the way I'm dealing with it.  I know it's not good, but I can't stop it.  My mind keeps going there. . . all the time. . . constantly.  I obsess over the statistics, I picture my kids without me,  and on and on and on.  How do you know when (and if) you need meds or therapy to get past it? 

Every emotion that your are feeling is normal.  When you hear those words, "You've got cancer", it changes your life.  You go to sleep thinking about it, you dream about it and you wake up thinking about it.  I always thought that if I ever got diagnosed, I would be in that almost curable group because of my diligence of exams and precautions.  However, when I got diagnosed what seemed to be a pre-cancerous condition turned out to be an advanced cancer with 15 of 20 nodes positive.  Let's fast-forward though...

 It is now almost 5 years later.  I still think about cancer; but not like I did at first.  It gets better.  Fill your life with family, friends and activities and remember Doctors help us but only God has our time in the books.  Eat healthy, love more deeply and remember to pray eveyday. 

God bless,

 Chris