body issues after lumpetomy

Hi Clare!

I had a good chunk removed from my left breast and am still healing.  Be glad that they removed your lump as I got faked out by something I had half my life and didn't catch the subtle changes.

I am actually thrilled that I didn't need to have a mastectomy, and am grateful to look just fine with a good bra.  I know the scars will heal, and the swelling will disappear.  I will never look "even" again, but all in all consider myself luckier than those who had much more invasive surgery.

I felt infinitely better about my upper body once I was able to do weights again and resculpt my arms and shoulders.  And once I was able to move into my good bras, I felt a lot better as well.

Thinking of my own experience, I would recommend that you get fitted for a couple of nice bras that have a bit of padding so minimize the difference in size.  Spend more money than you are accustomed to spending, and get something really fabulous.  Then ditch the insert.  Trust me, you will feel much better.

I am glad you have a boyfriend who supports you.  Listen to him.  I can tell you that Main Squeeze is unaffected by the change in my appearance.  This is important.

On the self image: most of us are not symmetrical.  On top of this, most of us have something we find less than wonderful about ourselves.  I am suspecting that you see a crater where a minor scar exists.  I don't know how you measure this, but I can tell you that most people don't notice the difference in my breasts.  And I doubt they notice yours either.

So go get a fab bra or 2 and flaunt it.  Do the exercises as having a toned upper body will do wonders for your self-esteem.  And set yourself some goals that aren't appearance-related.

I can certainly tell you that if I had it to do over again, I would have asked they remove that ever-changing breast lump when it was just a lump and not breast cancer.  I would have had a minor issue as opposed to months of treatment and years of hormonal therapy ahead.

Anyway....good luck.  Most of us get scars along the way.  I had ones from eye surgery from the time I was about 5 or 6.  You will be just fine.

(I think your mother is still mourning her sister and just doesn't get your issue.  I do, and I think I am a lot older than she is.  But my breasts look just fine, even now.)

Also Claire (but with an added "i")

You will feel better as time goes  by.  We all want to be "beautiful" and loved, and especially not rejected, so it is so normal to feel strange after the surgery.  I am much older than you and I am most concerned with not dying yet for my children, but I lately have watched the breast dent and it hurts from the scar tissue etc.  And, I too feel those emotions of fear and anxiety.   I have cried alone and find that although yes, it seems life would be better if one did not have cancer or did not feel "disfigured", but this experience will give you an amazing freedom in your life to see with different eyes and find the joy that some cannot see who have not suffered in this way.  Your roots are deep and strength comes when we don't expect it.  I send you good "karma" and prayers.  Maureen

Hi Clare,

You are way ahead of a lot of women in your acceptance, including me and I'm old enough to be your grandmother. I didn't get my breast cut into until I was past 55 and I think it looks awful, feels awful and doesn't fill the bra like the other side. In reality, my breast is still there, scarred and dented and smaller that the other. And NO one ever notices the size difference (except me) and my husb. who swears he likes that one better now!

LOTS of gals have had lumps removed or other surgeries and, true, scars seem to come with age, like they are the medals we have for surviving. Some are more prominent that others, but the one where they cut into our boobs seems to be the one that bothers more that the others. We as a society are very breast aware. Not to mention that it feels a lot like being violated.

You are very pretty, in your avatar pic. No one will ever know unless you tell them, and the sports and exercising will keep your head in the right place. DO wait at least a year between surgeries, or wait until you have your own health ins. The body has a way of settling down, and filling in. Also, most consults with plastic surgeons are FREE. So, see several. Watch what they do on health channels so you'll know exactly what to expect and pick a PS that you really like and has a good reputation...and I swear, this too shall pass and you will survive, thrive and move on.

Good luck to you. ((((couple of hugs))))) and for the best support ever, stay in this site, everyone knows your pain and can help you with everything else that gets thrown your way as you move on with your l7, 18, to 21st birthday.

And you can take that to the bank. Every day, challenges come that test our strengths. YES, you will be a stronger Woman than most your age and will have a greater awareness of the things that could happen along the way. Maybe one day you'll know why you had to go thru this, maybe not, it will just give you POWER just by having survived it and learned from it.

Try other styles and shapes and sizes of bras, VS isn't the only supplier of pretty things that make you feel good.

We are all in here to support each other. Isn't it GREAT? Saved my sanity many times!!!

~Connie

Claire, One more thought; to be able to articulate your feelings and concerns as you do means that you have a wisdom far beyond your years, and whether your boob fills in or not, whether you have plastic surgery in the future or pierce your nipples just the way they are; you are going to be fine (more than fine, you are going to be awesome!!!). All my best, Ruth