JUST A QUESTION.....

angel

You will get your life back--it will take some time--I am about 8 months out of treatment and I remember that last day of radiation very well.... it is a little scary---- but slowly, you will find you get your life back- it might be your regular normal or a new normal (I am about 98% back into my regular hectic lovely life).... but for right now- you need to take your time- give yourself some real credit for what you have been through and trust that things will eventually go back to where you want them OR you could change it all up entirely.  

I remember when my dad died-people said to my mom-don't do anything significant for a year---- and I used that same advice here--- I haven't done anything earth shattering this year other than to re-gain my life.... after the 1 year mark out of treatment, well, I might be willing to consider some other things.  

Be patient with yourself.

Hi there!

I remember my last day of rads, like yesterday. I finished rads first week of July 2008.

After the session, the rad techs were so nice. They were more happy than I was...lol. Yes....or yipee! Nope.

I thanked them, threw my appointment card in the garbage and walked so fast out of that hospital. I never looked back. Got in my car, turned up the music and drove home in tears. I drove around for a bit, because I didnt want my husband to see me come in crying. He was going to take me out for a "last day of rads lunch".

Everyone around me was happy. Family, friends, neighbors....everyone! I was lost, confused and scared. Very scared. I called my onc up 2 weeks finishing rads and I broke down. I asked him the same question your asking..." HOW...do I move on? HOW?."  He told me to focus on the fact that Im probably "cured" of BC , of course there is no test that can tell us 100%. His words were like a mantra to me. I repeated them daily. I can go days or weeks now, and not repeat them to myself.

My daughter was 3 yrs old and I just dove in to her schedule. Parks, pre school ect. I kept busy with erands and made time to get out and see friends. Retail therapy helped to...lol.

Its a one day at a time thing. It wont happen over night....but one week will pass. One month and so on.  Now, I can say I have my life back. I do go for my check ups ect....but its not big deal 1x every 3 months. I can do that. One day at a time....

Be well.

I met a woman at the hair dresser who could not even remember how long ago she had breast cancer.  The woman cutting her hair asked "now when were you diagnosed, 8 years ago?" to which the woman replied "no it must have been about 11 years ago..."

 Hoping this day comes for each of us.  It does become less top of mind especially once you move out from diagnosis.  Fill your thoughts with all the good in your life and focus on that.  Hope it will help!

Oh... forgot to mention something...

My mother was dx in 1995, treated as Tri-neg, and doing well.  Whenever I ask her about cancer, her response would be, "Oh geez, I don't remember!"

At first I would get frustrated that she wasn't able to tell me much about her experience, but then I felt glad because it shows me that there is life after cancer. 

It is as if having cancer was a distant memory to her.... becoming more insignificant each year as other experiences become the forefront of her life (ie. celebrating her 30th anniversary, seeing me get married, having her very first grandchild...)

-- Hoa (defeatbc)