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Pure
Pure Member Posts: 1,796
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I reliazed over the past couple of days that last year on Jan 18th I had a misscarriage. Exactly a year later I had Kilian-Jan 18th 2010.

I am sad when I think of the MC but weird thing is I realized that on Jan 15th I found my cancer. My mom felt it and said it's just hormonal changes and from there I went through the months of testing etc.

For some reason I am feeling very emotional about this-maybe b-c Its an annivesary-maybe it's b-c I am hormonal:) anyway do you count from day you find it or day you removed it?

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited February 2010

    Good  question I'm not sure how to mark mine as it was never officially diagnosed untill path report ...my dignosis went from DCIS to mixed tumor to ILC finally...I count from the time I heard...did you not feel this?June 15th...

    Cheryl

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2010

    Jen  Your hormonal and revisiting your trauma of the miscarriage you had last year.  You must have a lot of bittersweet feelings right now.  It's so amazing that you had little Kilian on that exact day, Jan 18, that you miscarried.  January will always be a time your feelings will well up around those dates.  It's the two sides of your brain processing this trauma.  The analitcal side and the feeling sides of your brain kicking in. Just allow yourself to process it all and realize too that you've just experienced a huge hormonal rush of pregnancy, and birth.  Sending you hugs.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2010

    I have a few anniversaries that bring up a lot of sadness  ~  Dec 25,2008, when I first noticed the lump, January 13, 2009 when it was diagnosed with core biopsy, as an IDC, and March 18 when I had the surgery to remove it, and again on April 6, removal of 17 nodes with one postive with cells.  All these dates bring up alot for me.  In fact this whole time of year has been a little sad for me.

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited February 2010

    I am new to this forum and have been reading your post. You have been through so much this past year. Congratulations on your new baby, he is beautiful. Celebrate the good anniversaries...

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited February 2010

    Definitely it is a bittersweet time for you.  No wonder you are feeling the way you are.  Hugs. 

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited February 2010

    Jen - I do think the emotions of having a miscarriage can hit you much later, and unexpectedly, and obviousl;y you have all this other stuff going on as well. For me it was their due dates that were hard to get through. So, sending you an extra hug today, as PIP says above, definately a bittersweet time.

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  • Ezscriiibe
    Ezscriiibe Member Posts: 598
    edited February 2010

    So far, my own timeline is kind of short.

    I found my lump on January 2, 2010. I will probably remember this day more than any of the others. It's just seems a more memorable day.

    January 7, 2010, was when it was diagnosed.

    I had the lump removed last Thursday, and I couldn't for the life of me tell you what the DATE was. 

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited February 2010

    Sorry you're feeling sad - sending (((HUGS))) your way. 

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  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited February 2010

    Off topic but here is my thought on miscarriage.

    I had one too.  Like cancer....you don't think those things will happen to you. It was very sad, yes as we had really planned for the baby. It was quite simply horrific.  I went to my ob gyn and asked afterwards when I could get pregnant again and he said six months..... I said I can't wait that long.....he said off the record try in three.  We did and by the fourth month I was pregnant again.

    I of course will never know what that child would have been like but had I stayed pregnant I would not have the daughter I have now.....and I adore her.  She is a breath of sunshine....smart.....very funny and just loves life.....I cannot imagine my life without her. 

    A miscarriage is so tough......but wow.....look at that Killian.....he is beautiful, and he is already so brave.....and a fighter. He adores his MOM.  The two of you will have a bond like no other.

    Jacqueline 

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited February 2010

    Jen...I count from day of Dx...but it starts weighing heavy on my mind from the call back from my mammo then US and being sent for biopsy....but it was all in a relatively short time.  Is till remember date of bilat, dates of chemo and rads and ooph!!1  Wonder if I will ever forget them...hopefully!!! 

    I had 2 miscarriages before my oldest daughter then 2 more before my 2nd daughter and for many years those dates were etched into my memory...now I remember the months, but as YAT said, I wouldn't have my 2 wonderful daughters that I have...ironically, my son is the only pregnancy that ws just one try!!

     Be kind to yourself...you are still in Tx, just had a baby...a lot going on....and you are truly amazing....HUGS....Karen

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited February 2010

    Thanks everyone:) I was having a down day!!! Thanks for the support!!

    I am going to count from the day I found it...lol b-c if the doctor would have got it right then I would have been diagnosed in Jan as well.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited February 2010

    Well, if I hadn't had a blind radiologist I would have been diagnosed in 2007.....

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2010

    i cried when I miscarried.. quite a lot.  We so wanted a 2nd baby and really had quite a hard time.  I eventually went on Clomid.. (higher incidence of breast cancer).. I was only on it for one month.  We were delighted when my 2nd son came.. just delighted.  When I found out I was pregnant with my now 10 year old girl we were stunned.  I was 43.. having children at a later age coincides with a higher risk of breast cancer.  she is an absolute joy.. she is the one who told me shave my head right away, so my hairs wouldn't be all over the house.

    Was it worth it?  absolutely.. I didn't cry too much when I was diagnosed, when i found my lump.. the miscarriage was far more sad and shocking. .. I actually had two miscarriages.. the first one wasn't so bad.

    life is what it is.  .. I'm so glad to be here,  to have this life.... i don't miss my boob, i can deal with the side effects..........losing my hair was a b****... losing my hair a 2nd time was just an 'oh well'.

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