Exchange City
Comments
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Wishing Val quick relief from pain and a great result! deekaay
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great idea!
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Believe, I think so many of us feel a lot or at least some of what you feel. I've had to talk through a lot of the touching me there issues with my dh and we've never been the kind of couple that talks about sex much. Even though I repeatedly tell him I want him to want to touch me there, it's not as much as it used to be. I think there is some fear and that even though we say it doesn't hurt, they have some real mental hang ups that don't necessarily have anything to do with appearance. I think they also need plenty of exposure to get to know the new sexy. I've just started guiding his hand there when we're just laying in bed, after sex so that he doesn't feel like I'm asking for sex, just gentle massage. I explain to him that his touch feels so different than mine and that I want to increase sensation. This is true and it allows him to get to know them with not pressure. My dh has said that the "you can't feel them" thing is hard for him to grasp. There have many times I end up crying after sex because he did touch enough or didn't act like he really wanted to touch/it was just touch to make me feel better, but it's a process for both of us. Dreamcatcher, you might check this bra thing out to help keep the expander from going under your arm and I was repeatedly told by my PS "Do NOT lift your arms above shoulder and nothing over 10 pounds" to keep them from going into the arm pits. http://www.chicshaper.com/Default.asp?bhcp=1 Kathy, Glad you're feeling better! Val, So sorry you're hurting. Warm hugs going your way!!!! Julie
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Erika: You probably have the short height TEs, which sort of take on that football shape. They are a great style of TE - if that is what you have - but they do look pretty bizarre. It is most certainly possible to exchange to 425/450 cc's in a silicone HP from where you are now. Whether you have sufficient expansion with your TEs is something only your PS knows. Tell her where you want to be with your implants - and let her determine if you need another fill. One more fill should be enough.
Deborah
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I really have to agree with Julie about finding some type of contraption [the Chic Shaper, bra, compression bra] which will help guide the TEs more medially, rather than allowing them to migrate towards the armpits. Many plastic surgeons have their patients in compression garments for at least a month after surgery....making sure the skin can breathe - in a bra or garment which permits air circulation - is important. I am going to buy one of those Chic Shapers to see how it works.
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Deborah,
Thanks for the info - that is what I had been thinking needed to be done. It is nice to have someone to confirm what I had been thinking. I'll have to call the PS office on Monday to get another fill appointment scheduled.
I did not have rads, but was a small A before my BMX surgery so my poor skin had a lot of stretching to do with the TE.
Thanks for the help!
Lynn
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Hi friends,
So I'm having a difficult time right now. I don't want to call friends or family - no one will understand and they'll ask too many questions and I'll get frustrated. I just need to talk to other women going through this. I just "unveiled" today following my exchange 1.5 weeks ago - finally took off the surgical tape holding my implants in medially (in addition to my compression bra). I am SOOOOOO UNHAPPY!
. The sides of my breasts look nothing like what I've seen other women have. Ya know when my TE's were in and had travelled out so far from my sternum I remember wondering - well isnt all that skin getting stretched way over there when I really need it over here? Sure enough - it literally looks like there was so much skin along the sides that my doctor was at a loss for what to do with it. It is puckered and there is a deep, very thick and hard crevice down the side (on my UNRADIATED breast) clearly where the internal sutures are. There was much pocket work done and it's almost like I can trace the outsides of them.
I'm teary and disappointed. I'm having less and less confidence in my doctor. My insurance is very limited in terms of who I can go to however. I'll call her on Monday and ask what' s going on.
I'm having thoughts - just thoughts - of just throwing in the towel, going flat. Will I do that? Probably not unless it's a really long road to get it "right". But I so want to get on with things. My thyroid has to come out soon - another surgery - I'm worn out. I'm one to have these thoughts and just mark them ("Thanks brain. That's an interesting thought.") and then talk to my doctor to get the facts, Jack. I won't go into a panic place, but I am just sad, disappointed. I also just don't know how much "fixing" I'm up for, especially cause I'm having less faith it'll work. Errr, errr, err.
Watch me call my doctor on Monday and she'll say "Oh that? That'll work it's way out in a week". Since that is a possibility and the weekend is still young, I gotta let go until I get some answers. Poor little noobies. Geesh we go through a lot, no?
You can see the pics under Wabiwoman on Timtam's site. Any calming feedback (even coddling...) is most welcome.
I'm going to take a nap with my cats. Thanks for listening. This board is a godsend.
Peace, Geena
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Val--I hope you feel better soon!
Hugs--Karen
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Mary -- I had the areola tattoos done already. I had to wait 6 weeks after the nipple reconstruction.
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Wabi:The skin might look better after a little more time, its been squished under tape and a little tormented for a while. If it does not resolve, I know people have had revisions that resolved it, not big procedures. I remember looking like I had extra skin on the sides after my bmx/1 step since i went from D to C, it does not look like that anymore.
Other than the extra skin, I really think they look pretty.
Enjoy your nap.
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Geena: You are going to be fine....I responded to your photos post...
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I agree with Wendy, Geena... the skin will improve and, if not, you can revise with not too much trouble. And they DO look pretty!
Lilah
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Dear ones,
Thank you sooooooo much for the words of support. A nap and some pep talks have really helped. I feel a bit embarassed that seeing my foobs for the first time like that can throw me so - but well, there you have it. I got thrown. I guess I just expected things to look better and was hoping no further revisions would be necessary. Guess I'm truly joining the club now.
The lessons just keep on comin'.
Thank you all for the strength of your experiences and your hearts.
Geena
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Geena...you look beautiful!!! Everything will improve...it is patience that we have to endure.
Hugs,
NAE
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Geena, hang in there. The ladies are right: they DO improve over time!
Val, gentle hugs.
Good luck to Buddy48 and Katey this coming week!
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Texas 357 - How are things going for you? AS fellow impending rad/exchange sister I have been following your progress.
Geena, you look wonderful. Its just a shock to us, what we all go through. But sincerely, you look good.
I have more fills this week with my current PS, and a 2nd opinion on the rads/exchange issue with another plastic surgeon. I do go to a teaching hospital, so after reading around a bit, I will be sure that we have no students involved in my reexcision/exchange.
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Hi all,
I'm feeling better. I know there is a revision in my future - so be it.
NAE, Texas, geewhiz - ((Thank you))
Texas - Very smart of you to ask your PS that there are no students involved in your surgery. I did that with my PS - I also go to a teaching hospital - and it gave me great peace of mind.
Buddy48 and Katey - Here's to a smooth experience. Getting the exchange done does make you feel as though things are moving forward. My thoughts are with you both!
Geena
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Thank you Geena and Texas! Geena, how lucky are we to have this site to help with these overwhelming feelings! Sounds like you are going to be AOK!
I'm going to spend the day setting up some sculpture projects at a reasonable height that I won't need to raise my arms:) Been taking tylenol pm at night which makes a huge difference in my sleep and spirit compared to night when I didn't.
I couldn't find the chic shaper at walgreens but did order it online, sounds like it takes awhile in shipping.
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geewhiz: I've been massaging daily, and while the rad side is still higher/tighter, it has softened quite a bit. I'm convinced that strategic displacement of the nipples will create a nice illusion of symmetry. When I'm wearing clothes, even without a bra, DH swears he doesn't see any lopsidedness.
Thanks to Val, I tried the strap across my chest but I had a tough time breathing no matter how much I loosened it. So I have it should anyone else want to try it.
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Val - happy to hear you're home, please take it easy & pamper yourself - one day at a time.
Geena - {{gentle hugs}} Hope you're feeling better and better about the exchange every day. Thinking of you, and praying for strength and peace.
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Deborah, I saw you mention the Bella Jane and Annette. Do they do the same as the chic shaper? The small chic shaper is sized for 32/34 but I really think it would be a better fit on a 34, I feel the rise on my back, something I've always struggled with in bra shopping so I'm easily irritated by it so I'm wondering if I'd find a better fit in a different product. Otherwise I love this thing!
BTW, I don't know why the walgreens near me carries the chic shaper and so many others don't but if anybody wants me to grab one for them, I'd be more than happy to mail it. Sounds like that might be faster.
Julie
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Julie: No, the Bella Jane and Annette bras are post-surgical compression-type bras. I am going to my nearest Walgreens today to see if they carry the Chic Shaper and if not, I am just going to order it online. I just want to see how it works....
Here is the Bella Jane:
http://www.bella-jane.com/bra_side_support_seams_3013_534_prd1.htm
And for someone like Geena, something like this, as you can see, keeps the implants contained within molded cups and acts to move them medially away from under the arms.
Obviously the Chic Shaper would be less expensive....if it does the same thing...
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Deborah and Julie - I'm going to call "Ruth's Lingerie" tomorrow - local lingerie store that specializes in mastectomy/surgical bras - I'm hoping they will have the Bella Jane with side seams. Right now my doc has me in tape (she asked me to retape myself to keep them medial) and the Marena compression bra. The bra is good, but I can completely see how having side seams would be great. I actually put my old strapless on over the compression bra today - it has strong side supports - and it felt OK. Thing is it is also underwire and I'd rather not wear two bras sooooooo... I'm gonna try for Bella Jane. A recent post of yours Deborah - I too have come to think having some sort of "contraption" to keep the TE's in place would have been nice. My doc was very much about yoga tops are OK, loose camisoles --- I'll betcha if I had something more structured on I wouldn't have had the very wide displacement.... I wish I had studied this thread BEFORE my surgeries!!!
Geena
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SO, do you guys think we should be holding TE's in place with a chic shaper/bella jane type garment? Do you think we can affect the placement a bit, even though the pockets are formed? It makes sense, but it seems like you might need to sleep in it as well. I do have a bit of "flat football shaped under the arm" boobs going on.
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I'm not so sure Geewhiz. To be honest, I've hardly worn a bra in a month and my TE is exactly where it was when I woke up in recovery... albeit larger (projecting forward). I am not sure what determines how they expand... but since I've done nothing to guide it and it has expanded forward, I thought I'd post this. I guess what I'm saying/wondering is: how much do we really have control during this expansion process?
Lilah
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Good luck to Buddy 48 and Katey on your exchanges this week!! You are now in the home stretch!! Here's to softness!!
Hugs, Kathy
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Geena: Bella-Jane is only available through Bella-Jane. Most prosthesis/mastectomy stores only carry certain bras suitable for "reconstruction" - a couple of Amoena bras are pretty good but I have not found any that have this side stabilization. Here is one that might work for either tissue expanders or post-exchange to implants....
http://marenagroup.com/garmentstore/product/tabid/199/p-28-implant-stabilizer-kit.aspx
EDITED: Never mind. I looked at the back view of this contraption and it does not provide side support. Great if TEs might be migrating medially, but does nothing for lateral displacement. Julie's Chic Shaper still looks better than this one...
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It all depends on the placement of your TEs. If from the first week after surgery they appear to be closer to the armpits - if you have more than three inches between the TEs in the sternum, if they appear to be migrating upward or downward, I would think of some form of stabilization. Many plastic surgeons have their patients in compression bras right out of surgery [after mastectomy and placement of the TEs] and the TEs are contained for several months in some form of support.
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Hi Lilah, Deborah, Geewhiz,
I looked back at my pictures and I can see that in the first week my TE's we a tad wide, but not unusually so. By the second week after placement they were on their way. I think at that point my doc probably should have put me into something to stop them from moving. I don't know. When I asked her about it she basically said, "It just happens on some women, we don't know why." If I were to do it over again I would put MYSELF in a contraption, even if she didn't. Now post exchange my doc has me in a surgical bra by Marena:
http://marenagroup.com/garmentstore/product/tabid/199/p-16-surgical-bra-2-elastic-band.aspx
(cut and paste the above into your browser if you want to see - I don't know how to get this to work)
Guess I'll measure myself tomorrow and order a Bella Jane. I really want that side seam and this surgical bra has no special side support. (Thanks Deborah!)
Geena
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...maybe that's it. I am still on the part of the process where I am struggling to have something to "contain"
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