Downsizing the Empty Nest

Good morning.   I did a major downsizing 4 years ago, before BC entered my life.  Here is a brief summary:   DH died in 2003.  We had talked of selling the house and moving but never did it.  Our only son lived over 1000 miles away.

I became less interested in the yard (garden) and house maintenance and son had moved to only 250 miles away.   Each time I drove to visit him I stayed in a different neighborhood to check out IF I wanted to move closer to him.  

I decided to eventually move closer to son and began cleaning out things.   There was over 30 years of accumulated treasures in the attic and garage, along with collectibles.   Even though I had not formally decided to sell the house, I began downsizing.  Short version:   garage sales, come and get it from charities having fund raisers, church bazaar (come get it and give me a donation slip), threw out lots of stuff, gave some away to those I knew needed or wanted.    

Biggest help was hiring the 14 yr old son of a friend.  He lifted, lugged, and actually enjoyed picking thru the hidden treasures.   With his parent's permission, I gave him many books and boy things that my son had outgrown.   I paid him $ 5 per hour and he was very happy. ( A tip also on days that he worked especially hard).  This was over the time period of a year.   

I spoke with several realtors. Lucky for me it was before the big real estate crash.   Decided to sell, but did not put the house on the market yet.  Found apartment and set a move in date.   Called the movers and had most of the stuff taken to my new apartment.

Hired a professional cleaning company to spit shine the house.   Put it up for sale with very few belongings in it - one bed, few dishes, Table and chair in kitchen, Lawn chairs on patio,  basic items - enough so I could camp out overnight when I was in town.    

Got an offer that I accepted and never looked back.   It was a very good thing for me, although I only knew one person (my son) when I moved here.   I can add more later, if you like.  

In conclusion:  I would do it again - 36 years in that house were great.  The move was good, and I am now moving to a smaller apartment in the Spring.   I did not miss one single thing that I threw out or gave away or sold.   Take your time, Good luck,   Nancy 

My only son had ( also the only grandchild)  tons of toys, books, travel souvenirs, etc in his room and attic.  I made him go thru and decide what HE wanted and told him I would pack and move and store until he has space, since he was in an apartment at the time.   He has since gotten married, bought a house and 4 years later has only taken one car load of boxes.   

I am planning to move in the Spring and told him I will not move the things again and he HAS to come get them or they go to a charity.   The point I am trying to make is, you can ask, plead, threaten, but in the end, it is up to them (him) to come and get the stuff.  

Dottie makes a good point of having to deal with stuff as one ages.   I used to set a gorgeous formal dinner setting for holidays - china, silver, crystal, cloth linens, candles, etc.   After my husband died, I no longer entertained as my son had moved and it was easier for me to visit him and go "out" for holidays or events.   I sold a lot of it at an estate sale, which friends of mine ran. You need to be careful about the commission charges, but if you really want to get rid of it - they can help.  

Since I am "single" and most of my (aging) friends are also, we go out to eat - pick one special restaurant and go as a group.   There are sometimes buy one, get second meal for half price.  A LOT easier than groceries, menu planning, cooking, serving, clean up and being exhausted and unable to enjoy the company.  Been there, done that with formal entertaining in my home...   

BTW, by the way, I just turned 64, but do not consider my change in life style as a negative (except for the BC business).   Easy, convenient, lack of clutter.  One other thing - Good Will and or other thrift shops often have old, hard suitcases, which can be stacked on top of each other.   These are good place to store memorables that you cannot part with.  OR foot lockers, which make a good night stand, stacked 2 or 3 high.   Throw a tablecloth over top and instant decor...

Well, congrats, Mary Jo!  How exciting to begin a new part of your lives together.  Appreciate the acknowledgement.  My work with injured and elderly certainly opened my eyes to the future, even in my late 30's.  That's why we only have on step in the house, even from outdoors.  Also why when we remodeled years ago, we replaced a tub/shower with  a walk in shower with a seat close enough to get showered while sitting.  Installed grab bars last year which sure came in handy when I was recovering from back and then hip surgery.  I'm even considering installing elevated commodes in at least one bathroom in the future---and maybe even a bar for assistance getting up.

I never pictured myself needing all those "accessories" ---ever, but have learned how simple things like that can make a huge difference in day to day life after debilitating surgery.  Even dh appreciated all them when he was recovering from surgeries.