MRI - Metastisis to lumbar spine possible

So, I went to a physiatrist because I was feeling numbness in the front of my shin.  She sent me for an MRI.  I was in such denial, I really didn't even think too much about possibility of metastasis.  It's four years since dx and treatment now and I have finally started relaxing and not freaking out about every twinge or illness. So, I got the report back two days ago and it says I might have a lumbar spine hemangioma, but "metastasis cannot be ruled out given patient's history of breast cancer."  Bombshell. Don't have appt. to see doc until next week.  Have called oncologist for an appointment, but it can sometimes take weeks to get one.  Of course, have been trolling the web a bit to get a better understanding of metastasis.

Meantime, I haven't even mentioned this to my husband.  I did allow myself a moment of self-pity yesterday, but am in the midst of an audit at work and putting in 14 hour days this week, which has been a distraction, but not entirely.  My mind has been racing with different possibilities.  The what-ifs are taking over.  And then I'm thinking, maybe that's not such a bad thing.  What if I really did have to face THE BIG C in the face again? How could I face telling my teen-age son, who is still dealing with the PTSD of having gone through my cancer followed on the heels by his father's brain surgery for a non-cancerous but life-threatening tumor. How could I face telling my husband, whose mother just had a heart attack last month?

And then I started thinking about how the possibility of facing down death might be different this time.  Last time all I could think about was surviving.  This time, I might take a different attitude. I began to think of all the trips I would take - to India to chaperone my son whose dream it is to study with a sitar master for a month; to Israel to see my relatives; to Finland to visit the family I lived with as an exchange student when I was a teenager. Maybe I would just stop working and collect disability and f-it-all. I would definitely spend more time in the country.  And maybe I'd focus more on quality of life than do or die treatment plans once all the research was said and done. 

 And maybe this is all nonsensical conjecture and a hemangioma is just a hemangioma... So, I am gearing up for another round of invasive and time-consuming tests until I can get some definitive answer.  Meantime, thanks for "listening."