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lettinggotolive
lettinggotolive Member Posts: 3

I am new.  I am a Breast Cancer Survivor.  I have been cancer free for 4 years now.  I am only 30 years old.  I have no family history nor do I know anyone personally who has traveled this same road as I.  I came across this website and i am hoping that it can help me to find my purpose here in life and be able to help others that have suffured just as i.

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited December 2009

    Welcome to BCO!......I am 3 years out and doing well....I too come here to support just as I was supported here when I was first dx'd.........Glad to hear you are doing well.......

  • mmm5
    mmm5 Member Posts: 1,470
    edited December 2009

    Hi and welcome,

    Could you perhaps tell us some of your story and maybe struggles and how you are doing now?

    I find it very helpful when those that have survived for a number of years relate their journey so we have hope and also helps us feel like we losing our minds LOL

    Anyway congrats on doing well for 4 years.

  • lettinggotolive
    lettinggotolive Member Posts: 3
    edited December 2009

    On April 5 of 2005 I awoke to feel a lump in my left breast.  It was about the size of a pea and was as hard as a rock.  Being only 25 years old and not having a family history of breast cancer my family continued  to tell me that it wa probably a milk pocket and not to worry.  It grew at a very rapid rate.  I didnt have insurance so i put off going to the doctor as long as i could hoping it would go away.  When I went to the doctor in july and he suggested that i get a mammogram.  I did and the also did a breast sonogram.  the doctor there told me that it was a fibroid cyst.  Non cancerous.  That it would just have to be removed.  Then it was probably the size of a half dollar.  Finally in September I got insurance and made the appointment with the specialist to get it removed.  He reviewed my mammogram and scheduled me for surgery 2 week later.  On the way home he told me to come back.  He said his sister in law was going through stage 4 breast cancer and he just wanted to do a biopsy to be on the safe side.  4 days later my husband and i sat in his office while he told us that i did indeed have breast cancer and they where going to have to remove my left breast.  6 days later on Oct 5 2005 I received a radical left mastectomy.  I didnt even have time to say goodbye to my breast.  By the time it was removed it grew so big my skin on my beast couldnt stretch anymore.  When removed it was 8 x 20 cms.  I received chemotherapy along with radiation and I am here today.  Very grateful indeed, but havent really lived my life since.  Fell into a depression that just finally am pulling myself out of.  I except my body for how it is.  Reconstruction isnt an option for me.  I just have never had anyone to talk to that could relate to what i have gone through.  Then i found this website.  I feel like all the doors around me are opening.  Hope is something i have now.

  • lettinggotolive
    lettinggotolive Member Posts: 3
    edited December 2009

    I stuggle with the fact i dont feel sexy.  My husband (gratest ever) loves me for who i am.  This helps me so much.  I feel like less of a woman because i only have one breast.  I dont let this consume me or contol my life.  I just have my days that i get sad.  Is it normal to feel this way?

  • mmm5
    mmm5 Member Posts: 1,470
    edited December 2009

    Monica

    It is normal to feel this way, especially at your young age. I am 43 and it is a bit easier as I was able to have reconstruction. Why is recon out for you have you consulted with the best specialists? I understand the depression as well. Were you hormone positive, her 2 positive, what kind of chemo did you have? If you were hormone positive and your are now on an AI or tamox that might be part of the depression>

    How did you beging to pull yourself out of the depression? I am glad your husband is supportive.

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited January 2010

    Thinking of you today and sending some more hope your way.

    This is a place that you can agonize and vent -- so no more need to internalize any emotions. 

    There's a wonderful function on this site, that is a real-time "chat" and that too can become a lovely way to share with people 'in the moment' and get support, empathy and encouragement. 

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    (((((((((((((((((Monica))))))))))))))))))

  • angelsabove
    angelsabove Member Posts: 363
    edited January 2010

    lettinggo.......I understand how you fee. I made the decision to have a double mastectomy on 5/21/2009. I have not had any reconstruction. I did lots of chemo and now am doing radiation. I have 8 more of those left. I am 36 years old and YES SOME DAYS ARE HORRIBLE. I have to tell myself almost daily...(my breast do not define me as a person) I was so large breasted that I was always known for MY BREAST. I am so glad you came on BCO. There are some amazing women here!!!! I too would like to know why reconstruction is out of the question. I have not yet decided about it for me.

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