January Mastectomy

paula--thanks for sharing your story--very similar to mine.  kind of jealous the process has gone faster for you...every appt for me has meant a 1-4 week delay.  driving me crazy. 

ladies--stress to your girls, your friends--get those mammos!!  they aren't perfect, but they do help.  i have no risk factors-i didn't have a lump either--nothing.  just went in for my annual mammo.  got a call from the radiologist saying he was afraid i had already gotten a copy of the report saying it was normal (my doctor had, i hadn't yet) but upon review, there were two areas in one breast he was concerned about & wanted more views--thats where the merry-go-round started.  thankfully he did the review.  my surgeon showed me the films & compared to the ones before it was the slightest change.  he told me he 'really had to hand it to the radiologist for picking up on it'

so with such a small change, how do you get to a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy?  with the two areas in separate parts of the breast, and no defined lump, there is too great a risk of what is between the areas.  so although i was grudgingly offered an attempt at a lumpectomy, it was not recommended by my surgeon, and i just am not willing to risk it.  love to gamble, but not with my health.

so many of you seem to have such a great acceptance of the boob loss aspect of this situation.  i have less concern about the disease part ( very confident of the surgical success ) but the cosmetic issue is killing me.  ashamed to admit it, but there it is. 

by the way, i missed you on the list kat---good luck with your surgery too!!! 

Drains out!! Drains Out!!

Surgeon let the monkeys out!!!!!

****And while he was at it, he removed the 50 staples, too!!

I am sooooooooooooo happy.

KarBear,

I am sure everyone facing the decision will tell you it is agonizing and difficult to decide.  Everyone will probably also tell you that once you make the decision, you will know it is the right one for you.  We all decide differently for different reasons.  As for me, my initial reaction to the diagnosis was just get rid of this cancer -- take them both off.  After I went through the first excision and learned we didn't have clear margins, my surgeon simply suggested we could go in again and try for clear margins, and that's when she also did the axillary node dissection.  After learning that the margins still weren't clear, she put the decision in my hands.  I asked for her recommendation and she (wisely) wouldn't give me one.  She simply said that only I could make the decision.  She said if I chose the unilateral Mx, we would watch the other breast closely, but if I chose the bilateral that would be okay, too.  She referred me to a plastic surgeon (I didn't know if I wanted reconstruction or not), but I will tell you that the consultation was worth it.  That helped me make the decision. 

My only advice is to get as much education and information as you can handle (you will know when you've got enough or had too much).  Don't let anyone make the decision for you.  It is one of the few things you will have control over!  I also met with survivors who had bilateral Mx's and unilateral Mx's; some with reconstruction and some without.  I respected all their decisions and listened to their reasons. 

One woman in particular who also had difficulty making the decision helped me turn the question around...she said simply ask yourself what the reasons are for you to try and keep your breast.

This is probably not the answer you're looking for.  I, too, was looking for someone to make the decision for me....you have to trust yourself and no one else.  You will know what to do.

Good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you!

TNGolfer, I said this same thing this week.  I have a list of things to get done prior to surgery; cleaning, stocking groceries, packing for my kids, loading freezer with meals.  I think it is my need to feel in control.  I too think I have everyone fooled into thinking I am okay. 

KarBear - I decided on bmx similar to how TNGolfer did, I looked at my reasons for keeping the healthy breast.  I also asked myself two questions, 1-how would I feel if they do path on the healthy breast and find nothing of concern? and 2-how would I feel if I leave healthy breast and 2,5,10yrs down the road I am diagnosed again?     My answers to those questions made the decision simple for me.  Look at all of your options and find a quiet spot and really think.  Listen to yourself and you will know your answer.

Boromom - good luck tomorrow.  I will send prayers for you tomorrow.

Hi everyone,

I am sorry I haven't posted earlier.

The left side mastectomy turned out great, it hurt less then I expected. I also had the expander placed in.  It seems that I am having areas of skin necrosis, worried what to expect from that, Has anyone had any????

I stayed two night at the hospital and came back home.

I have learned I am brac analysis negative, great new, the 3 sentinel nodes removed were negative.  I meet with the surgical and medical onclogist to review the pathology report in detail.

3 nights ago I twisted my left knee and tore some ligaments and menicus.  Had bloody fluid removed from knee, and will need an mri to acess damage after they remove my expander as my expander are not advisable for mri.  The last 3 days have been painful in my knee and I am not mobile yet.

My chest area feels tight, and sore at time.  Had one drain removed and I am waiting for the 2n next week on the 28th. 

Good luck to all the ladies that are soon to follow, and I am glad  as each one of us pass to the other side.

MAria 

Hi Everyone,

I leave for the hospital in 2 hours. My bilateral with reconstruction is at 1. I slept really well last night after taking 2 Tylenol PM's but woke up at 6 feeling that this is unbelievable. I can't believe that this day is really here. I got together with my parents and husband and son last night and we hung out together. Wished I would have taken a picture all together. I did have my husband take one with my son. I took a cake to work yesterday that said Happy C Day! I celebrated that today would be my last day with cancer and my first on the way to a "C" cup I have so many emotions right now. I think I have felt at peace for so long and now I am just scared. I am such the person who rethinks things and has regrets that I didn't do this or that. I wish I would have celebrated more last night, I wish I would have squeezed my son harder, I wish I would have laid in my husband's arms I wish....... I am going to start living a life of no regret. It is just too darn short. Thank you to all of you for your prayers and support. I have been on this site for a couple of months and this January surgery has brought me the most peace. All of you women are amazing and your advice is priceless. Almost time to say goodbye to the girls. Your strength has become my strength - thank you!

Kat - I am right with you regarding the germs!  I have hand sanitizer in every room of my house right now    I do childcare in my home.  On Monday and Tuesday I did not work, due to holiday and pre op testing.  Wednesday morning 2 of my "kids" showed up with runny noses and coughs!  I was so paranoid all day long.  That night I called all the parents and told them I was done and I would see them in 12 weeks.  I am so afraid of getting sick. 

Tonight, I am going to risk the germs.  I am going out with several friends and I am going to have a good time and not worry about Monday.  Tomorrow is my oldest daughters 13th birthday.  My DH and 3 DDs are going to spend the day in our house watching movies, sharing our favorite meal, opening gifts, and having birthday cheesecake.  Sunday I have to take my girls and drop them off at their friends (they are each staying with friends while I am in the hospital).  I think that may turn out to be rough, so may have to send DH to drop them. DH and I are then spending a quiet evening alone to get ourselves prepared for Monday morning.  With my diep recon, my surgery is expected to be 12-16 hours total. 

This thread is wonderful.  Thank you so much to all the January sisters who went before us and have posted their stories, the good and the bad.  You bring me much peace and comfort.

Happy birthday LynBob!

Boromom,  I wish you luck today!

KarBear, I felt the same as you do now with the loss of my breasts. I loved mine and felt extremely angry, laughed alot at the thought of them taking my them, but was too scared of what could happen. I am one week out my bilat mastectomy with expanders and I feel so relieved to get them out. There was no question I was doing a mastectomy on the right, waaaay too much DCIS, didn't want to go through multiple lumpectomies to get clear margins which the surgeon said she probably couldn't get, definitely didn't want radiation and I have a strong family history (up to 9 ladies now). The decision on the left one came when they found something in the MRI and then they did a biopsy and told me they needed to do another MRI to confirm they got what they saw in the MRI. I just said forget it at that point and take them both. Another reason to think about a mastectomy, my path report showed a 5 mm tumor of IDC in the right which was never found in any of mammos or MRI I had done. Not sure if it was there in October or it grew since then but it was not in the same area of the DCIS. Had I only had a lumpectomy, they might not have found it before it got too large. Just something to think about... Good luck with your decision and take your time.

Well, I'm still doing good, but not as good as some others!  Faithandfifty:  I am in awe of you!  My DH and I can't quite come up with an acceptible position for a happy dance that won't be uncomfortable for me, so for now we're doing lots of gentle hugs!  I also tried to sleep in bed last night instead of the recliner and was so uncomfortable that I barely slept, so back to the recliner for me for now.

As far as the cold sensations, I don't notice so much when eating or drinking, but when I go into the kitchen (the coldest room in our house) I usually start aching in my chest area from the cold.  Then yesterday I started having a new thing going on.  DH and I were doing a little shopping and all of a sudden I had a pain that kind of went from my back to my chest on my right side that was so painful and came on so fast that it about brought me to my knees, I went out to the car and sat down for a bit and it subsided, but it has since come and gone a lot.  We were doing a little more shopping today and every so often I'd have to grab my DH arm and just stand there and breathe until it went away, literally brought tears to my eyes and took my breath away. So, my husband insisted that I call the PS office and as soon as I told them what was happening she knew exactly what it was.  The nerve endings are waking up, which I guess is a good thing, but WOW does that hurt!  They said that I could come in, but it's normal and she said the best thing for it is massage and ice.  I cannot imagine anyone massaging my chest right now, maybe my back, she said that it would probably hurt but it's the best thing for it... I might just have to stick with ice!  Anyway, just thought I'd give you all a heads up in case someone else starts experiencing this, so you don't panic...  Knowing that it's normal and a good thing makes it a little easier to take, but it still hurts.  Blessings and prayers to all!!!

Just got my date. I'm having D/M on Monday the 25th with TE.. Have to start packing for the hospital. I'm a little nervous. Good luck to all my BC sisters that are also having surgery too next week. In my thoughts and prayers.

Donna

Thanks for your advice!  It makes so much sense.

You are ready for surgery!  You will be just fine   I will be thinking of you!  Good Luck.  Silk boxers are a great idea!

Hi Cathy

Hope you're recovery is going well.  I had my surgery, right mastectomy, on Dec. 24th ( that date really sucked!), but I'm pretty much back to normal now.  I had my drain in for 2 weeks, which was a pain, and in fact I still have some pain around the drain site area.  I'm getting back normal movement in my arm now and will be starting physio next week.

I had my first visit with the oncologist yesterday.  Good news on the pathology report.  The ILC tumor was small, 6mm.  All the rest was LCIS.  12 nodes taken and all were negative. So no chemo for me. Yeay!! But he does want me to either take the tamoxifen or get a mastectomy on the left side.  Guess I'll try the drugs first. Still more reconstruction surgery to go through......

Good luck to everyone with upcoming surgeries.

Jackie

What I did with drain during showers is I tied a loop at both ends of a shoelace and pinned the drains through the loops and then put it around my neck... same idea as the towel, but a lot less bulky, worked really good.