January Mastectomy

Sunsnow I'm so sorry about your loss...how horrible for you...and Robinlbe...I too feel the pain from losing my father 18 years ago...however, I know I had some divine intervention with my diagnosis.  I'm 47 and I have mammograms on average every 2 years...it had been 2 years since my last one.  Around Thanksgiving, I had severe intermittent R breast burning that would make me grab my breast and say out loud "Oh my goodness, my breast is burning"  2 weeks of googling breast burning with no specific cancer results showing up in my queue,  I assumed it was a cyst (I'm a cystic person, It's logical)  Then I felt a grape size lump and figured...definitely a cyst.  I'll have it aspirated and be as good as new.  December first I was diagnosed with a 2.6cm invasive ductal carcinoma and my breast has not burned again.

I know everything must be for a reason...I'm hoping I am becoming a stronger person.  I'm having less tears...each time I don't cry and can talk about it openly without getting all sentimental I consider a victory!  Except for today when I got my soft-tee post mastectomy garment today and realty took the wind right out of me.  Oh my goodness!  This is really happening!  I blubbered a little bit.

I can't wait to be on the other side.  I've been inspecting my body and tying to determine how things will look.  I think I may take some before pictures from all angles like Christina Applegate did. I've still got some bruising from my MRI biopsies so I hoping they'll heal up by this weekend. 

I've purposely started wearing my business clothes with a minimizer and more ruffled blouses and loose cardigans to really downplaying this area.  Seems to be working.  I look flatter in my clothes. Did anyone else go through this? 

The waaaitting is the hardest part.....

Kat

Kat, DO take your pictures....I had my husband take pictures of me the night before my bilateral...I wish we had gotten pictures before my first surgical biopsy....before the very first cut.  I will be two weeks post-surgery tomorrow, and I haven't looked at them yet, but at least I KNOW I have them if and when I want (or need) to see my old body.  I have also had him take pictures of me now...the day I came home from the hospital (with four drains), and then last week after two drains were removed.  When I get the next drains out, I will have him take more.  (These pictures are on a disk all of their own, and my head isn't showing, just in case my kids should ever find them.  There will also be instructions to bury this disk with me when the time comes...ha!)

I found that my last week, before surgery, I wore every tight and low cut shirt I had....figured it would be the last time

Now, I'm just wearing my softee round the clock (the hospital gave me one, and we bought the 2nd)....it has lace at the top, so it actually looks cute under a shirt or a hooded jacket - which I wear all the time now, too.  The bumper pads (as I call them) give me a little shape, and give me protection for my poor little chest...

Has anyone else noticed that liquids feel differently going down now?  Like cold drinks or hot drinks?  If I"m not wearing my bumper pads, it's almost as if I can feel the liquid on the outside of my skin....it is SO weird!!!

BTW, my "friend for life" volunteer called me tonight....she had a right mastectomy back in 1990 at age 47, and never had reconstruction.  She took vitamin B complex to help get feeling back in her hand after hand surgery, and she thinks it may have helped her armpit and chest area, too, because now she has TOTAL feeling in all of those areas!!!!  I think I may try that....

 Praying for one and all....

Praying for all the January Jumpstarters... and the February Funsters and and and and........

Especially praying today for our girls: taraleec, texaspeaches, Susie123 and boromom.

This is your week and we're here to cheer you thru it.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

texaspeaches and susie123 good luck tomorrow !  Boromom welcome and good luck on Friday.   

I hope all of you on the 'other side' are feeling better. 

KatRNagain92, we are in the final stretch, only a few more days.  It is hard to believe that this time next week, we will be on the other side!  Yesterday I finished all my pre op test and it made me very weepy.  I guess reality finally hitting.  Today I feel better and ready to go.  Bring it on! I can take it!

Hi,

This is TNgolfer.  Finally made the decision.  Bilateral mastectomy scheduled for January 28th.  Right (affected) breast will undergo skin-sparing Mx and Left breast (prophylactic Mx will undergo nipple and skin sparing Mx.  Both breasts to have immediate TE placement.  Previously underwent excisional Bx and re-excisional Bx (to try for clear margins) with Axillary Node Dissection.  So, I've already gone through the "drain" process.  Annoying, but found ways to hide the drain under zipped sweatshirts and button front shirts.  Axillary node scar still annoying and still trying to workout numbness under right arm.  Scared, of course and anxious about how I will feel the morning after.  Surgery not scheduled until 1:00 in the afternoon -- will probably be a basket case all morning.  Just can't wait until it is over (to move on to the next adventure). 

Am glad to be able to see this board, so we can hopefully help each other through this at the same time!

got diagnosed in november, and with this test, and that test, and then waiting for the surgeons schedule, am having surgery jan 27-- right mastectomy, planning reconstruction later.  just found this site, and --- well words fail me.  so many....so brave & generous.  saw one post earlier regarding withdrawing.  seems like i am doing that..was very selective about who i told.  then someone (my hubby told) blabbed--and now i feel so invaded.  don't socialize anymore, cause i feel like a 'topic' of conversation.  am i nuts, or is this not too uncommon.

ironically, i use to work in an ocology clinic for many years..held many hands, dried many tears, cryed many of my own.  always considered it a privilage to walk this journey with my patients, went the extra mile to make things easier for them, but it is so different being on this end. 

 i am p____d -  partly about the wait for surgery, although i do totally understand from the medical side the reasons.  maybe it was the 'nurse' who popped into the room during my 2nd biopsy to feel my boob, and then never saw her again.  she wasn't involved in any way with the proceedure.  i'm kind of a private person, and modest (except for the drunken nude swim in chilly march-and oh, yeah the slightly inebriated midnight swim at the classreunion)  but aside from that prefer to control who touches me.  i hate this whole gropping, prodding, squishing crap. 

Welcome grdnslve, although I am sorry you've had to join us.  This is a wonderful site, and you will find a lot of great women and a lot of support and understanding.  This BC is about you.  Do what you need to do to feel comfortable.  I find it difficult to talk about it sometimes, and felt uneasy about telling some folks.  I didn't want to be the next topic in the neighborhood gossip. 

The poking and prodding and parades of people touching and looking reminds me of when I had my first daughter.  When I started the whole maternity thing, I was a little nervous and 'shy'.  By the time I delivered, my modesty was gone and I didn't care if the whole hospital wass in there checking it out--just get it out! 

You don't have much longer to wait, and according to our January ladies who are already there, the "other side" is sooooo much better. 

yeah, grdnsive, I know how you feel...

When I was first diagnosed, no man had seen my breasts except for my husband and my dad, but daddy didn't count because that was when I was a baby!!!!

At first I was adament I wanted only a female surgeon, but then I found out that the best BS in town was a ....MALE.  I reluctantly went to see him, and my husband and I both liked him a lot.  Since then, he has performed all three of my surgeries, and I am not sorry we chose him for my surgery.  AND since then, I don't know how many more men have had to see/touch/manipulate my breasts....it had almost gotten to the point of "anyone else want a look?"

And then, right before I was taken to surgery, while in the presence of my pastor and my family (husband and three children), I started rubbing my boobs, and asked if anyone wanted to say good-bye to my 50 year old friends.....then, according to them, I also asked if anyone wanted to see them!!!

Oh, well.....now my breasts are gone for good....for ever and always....

Hi All!

I am so new to this, I'm not even sure how to use the discussion boards.  I've been reading all night and figured I'd type a message with the hope that someone can give me some insight that the doctors can't.

I was diagnosed with ductile carcenoma-invasive in November.  I found a lump myself.  The biopsy came back negative, but path reports proved otherwise after surgery.  I have 3/3 positive lymph nodes.  The lymph nodes were not tested until my 2nd surgery.  For my 2nd surgery, I had to decide lumpectomy OR mastectomy.  That was the hardest decision in my life!  Both doctors agreed that my case was good for the lumpectomy route, so thats what I did.  Well, now I am faced once again with the same delima.  How are you supposed to decide which one is best for your survival?????

One doctor, the surgeon, is telling me that he can't clear the margins.  I have DCIS in 3 areas of the margins that were removed, and one focal point of invasive caner still in my breast in the margin that he can't clear.  He recommends a mastectomy.  My oncologist, keeps giving me statistics about lumpectomy and mastectomy having the same survival rates, and he is suggesting that I go in one more time for lumpectomy to see if we can clear margins.  UGH!!!  I have NO idea what to do.

My tumor was 2.7 cm.  I have 3/3 postive lymph nodes (more to be removed with next surgery.  As of today my stage is 2B.  My PET scan is clear.  Bone scan tomorrow!

Does anyone have suggestions, similar circumstances, or advice to offer?  I can't decide if I should give lumpectomy another try, have one breat removed, or just go full force and get a bilateral mastectomy.  I DO NOT want to travel this road again in the near future.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

K

All, 

You have been a great inspiration for me--I'll be in surgery in 9.5 hours!  Thanks to all of you early January folks I've packed a bag.  Poncho and Lefty are both coming off.  Had a party for them on Sunday and am so glad I did professional photos of them last week because my plastic surgeon marked them up yesterday, and the radiologist marked more today with the SNB dye (OUCH!).  So, I decided to pack real pajamas with a snap-up front, lip gloss, a velcro cami with 8 pockets--soft combed cotton with lace trim.  It even looks like a real shirt (gentle touch post mastectomy cami--in four colors), and tossed in a pink boa--very practical:  warm, fun, decoration for a dull room, gets attention (the nurses will notice and hopefully think I am a fun patient and will pay attention and bring good drugs when needed), and will distract from bedhead when leaving Friday.  Seriously, who will be looking at my hair if there is a pink boa 'round my neck?  

Thanks to each of you and your experiences.  You have gotten me through.  I decided on a bilateral because of your information, strength and courage.  You have given me gumption and the ability to stand up and ask for what I need--even when I am scared out of my wits.  I'm journaling on caringbridge.org and finding great support there--and saying just what I mean, no matter what.  You all are such an inspiration.  You are who I pray for when I get anxious--it is working 'cause anxiety has been kicked to the curb.  

KarBar--Welcome.  Decide and don't look back.  Listen to others, read what is out there, then trust your gut to know what is best for you.  You will make the right decision. We all walk our own path.  I just learned about amazon women--they cut off their breasts to better pull back their bows for the fight.  I posted this on my blog as an item of interest I read in a book--many of my followers referred to me as 'amazon' and it was so empowering.  I never related it to me.  For me, deciding on two (one to remove the cancerous breast and one to greatly reduce the chances of recurrence and create symmetry) was for me--the trade off is loss of nipples and reduction in this area of our sex life.  My husband didn't even bat an eye==he give full support to slaying this cancer beast.  I've worked with Marines (love them!)--and my spouse asked, "what would your marines do?"  My instant response was "they would cut them both off and keep firing until all the cancer was gone, then because they love boobs they would get bigs ones put back on"  Boom-just like that was my answer--out of what seemed like the blue.  Not sure about 'big ones'--but anything would be bigger than my current A- status.  What also made it easier is that I really trust my surgeons.  

Susie123--good luck tomorrow girl--we are in this one together.  

Boromom--best to you on Friday--we should all three be having some relief come the first of next week.  

I'll be praying for our January Mastectomy Amazon Warriors!  You are all amazing and a great inspiration to me.

If you  do not know about "Look Good Feel Better" through the American Cancer Society, I suggest you check it out.  It is a wonderful FREE program to help with hair/skin changes that come with cancer treatments.  A friend and I went this week--it came complete with dinner, a goodie bag full of make-up, a free wig (if you were so inclined--just can't go there), hats and a scarf, and great advice and discussion by a beauty consultant, nurse practitioner and other health professionals.  It was a terrific evening--all free, all by volunteers.  The ACS is awesome.  

Aloha, Smiles and Blessings on you!

Susan 

P.S. One of the women who attended my presentation last week in Louisiana, sent me this quote via email yesterday:

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left." ~Hubert Humphrey

I am a collector of quotes and this one is my new favorite!!!

Wow, I can't keep up with all of these posts. Just a brief update though, I drove 6 hours to my BS for post-op appt yesterday and they found a 5mm IDC in my right breast. The 4 nodes they took were clean. They found DCIS in my right breast nipple so they had to take it unfortunately. My left was perfectly clean so I still have my left nipple anyway. I definitely didn't want to hear that word invasive and was really looking forward to being done with this cancer. Now I have to see an oncologist to discuss treatment options. I probably will have tamoxifin and maybe herceptin if they determine I am HER+ still waiting on that one. I probably won't need radiation since there is nothing left to radiate and my BS said chemo is a bit overkill. I am going to read other discussions to see what other folks have decided to do to treat IDC. Ugghhh! Anyway, I am glad to read about the success stories over the past week. My biggest complaint post op was not being able to pee that first night until 2:30am and it took me 15 minutes to get it all out. The agonizing pain that took 20 minutes to subside after they gave me as much morphine as they could and finally gave me a different pain killer. And ofcourse the aweful, should be fired home care nurse who came in and cared more about his paperwork and making me feel abandoned and alone. Needless to say I had a bit of a breakdown after he left.

 Love the Amazon reference Texaspeaches. If you don't mind I am going to borrow that one. Thinking of you today.

Suzie123 also thinking of you today.

And good luck to everyone left on the schedule for January!!!

Kell(y?):

 As soon as I read your post I knew you were from Nashville! We may even have the same doctor. Your directions, etc. were exactly my own. I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction on December 21st, and am recovering from it now. They do send the numbing cream, with a drawing of wear to apply it! They will also probably send a small bottle of antiseptic shower soap to wash with the morning of your surgery. You put on the cream after that, and cover the cream with adhesive squares that they will send. It does help. I won't lie -- those SNB shots are a bit painful, but they are quick, and they sting only for about 30 seconds to a minute. I took the pre-op class (I have a type-A personality, I'm afraid!), and it was pretty helpful because I could ask questions, there were others in the class who were having the same surgery, etc. I also got to see the drains, which was helpful, since I think I would have been a bit shocked to find them attached to me without seeing them first. The ladies who fit you for your camisole are SO nice and accommodating! The camisoles (you'll get two, probably) are good because they keep everything in place, and they have small, detachable pouches to hold your drains. Your daughter should be able to handle seeing you when you come out of anasthesia, and you won't have all that much attached to you. They also cover you up, but it's good to prepare her. I am so sorry you are having to go through this! If there is any way I can help, please don't hesitate to contact me -- it's still pretty fresh in my mind.

MelissaD -- I'm right there with you.  Started as DCIS, extensive, in left only, and results came back invasive.  Just got the path report (my initial 'hearing' of the diagnosis had me way up there) reads much better -- Grade 2 (not the Grade 3 I thought I heard), and arguments for Stage 1 or 2, since one of the spots is 2.0cm.  Not exactly what I wanted to hear.  I meet with the onc next week.  Still, positive side:  no nodes and very clear margins.  And a shout out to annual mammograms -- NO ONE FELT THIS MASS!  Not even after the mammo, the MRI or the U/S.  So thank heaven I got my butt in gear to go back for a mammo (my last one was 7 years ago).