Mom wants me to go with her to cut hair

First of all, she needs to make sure that she will lose her hair before she has them cut. I know many people who had chemo and it didn't affect their hair at all. Normaly you will know after the second week. So  i advise you to wait to see what is going to happen.

Josey ~  I so know how hard this is for you.  I had the same experience. My daughter is a colorist and hair designer at a local spa, and I knew that when I started losing my hair I wanted her to buzz it for me.  She has had a number of chemo clients in the past and she knew the importance of this.  She has always highlighted and cut my hair which was blonde and shoulder length and she came with me to a wig store which was owned and run by cancer women.  I got a wig that looked identical to my hair color and when I brought it home she cut and styled it for me. It was really self assuring for me to have a wig that made me look exactly like me before my hair started falling out.  2 weeks later my scalp started to feel very painful, which is a sign that the hair loss is coming within a day or so. I also started losing clumps of it when combing my hair, and it started to feel like spider webs on my face all the time when hairs started falling.  I called my daughter and asked her to come over and cut it right away.  She did, and as she cut more kept coming out.  She just wanted to shorten and style it.  I know it was hard for her as she did it though she didn't show it. I hated the idea of having short hair with bald patches an tufts of hair still to fall, so I told her as she was cutting it.  "Let's just buzz it" and get it overwith.  At least I had my chemo scarves and caps .  She was a little hesitant but with all my hair just coming out as she combed and cut, she knew I was right.  So we did, and OMG what a relief after it was done.  She laughed and cried insided as she looked at me, but the reality of it was there.  I am so glad I had my girl with me for this.  She's a wonderful daughter.  She was the way I needed her to be.  I am the once with BC and all that goes with it.  I need my family to be strong for me.  That goes with the idea of a wig also.  After buzzing my hair I found it was so much more comfortable to go bald and wear my little knit chem caps in the house and around family.  It wasn't a matter of protecting them from me looking SICK.  I was sick and I needed them to be strong for me when I was not feeling strong, and feeling ugly and not confident, and in pain.  Even my grandchildren were ok with seeing me bald for awhile.  Now my hair is growing back fast since finishing chemo in Sept. 

Josey, just remember, your mom needs you there for this now.  I believe that for most women it's just as hard to lose their hair as it is their breast.  If you feel you can buzz her if she neeeds you too, then she will feel so much better and less emotional then going to a professional to do it.

Shanagirl

Hi Josey,

I don't know how old you are, but will tell you that I have young girls (11 and 12) and they went with me when I had my head shaved before chemo.  I also invited several friends and family to come as well.  I know my kids were scared as was my mother and sister and friends.  In fact, I had one friend who told me in advance that she knew she would cry and didn't know if she should come.

We all cried.  Everyone up to and including the stylist.  But I will tell you that having gone through it allowed my daughters to accept it.  In fact by the time we got home, my kids were so proud of my bald head that they wanted to parade me through the neighborhood. I think that it was probably easier for them to see it happen instead of seeing me with hair one day and without hair the next.  By watching me have it shaved, they understood that it was still me-just without hair.

I think everyone has to do it the way that makes them comfortable, but if your mom is asking you to be there with her, then she must have decided that is the best way for her to process it.  It will be hard for both of you-no doubt.  But you might find that it is an empowering experience for both of you.

I write a blog about my breast cancer experience and wrote a post about this very thing so am including it in the hopes that it might help you understand the experience.

Best of luck to you both.

Tracy