January Mastectomy

Binga: I know how you feel.  I'd been set for surgery on 1/12 (yesterday!) then last week it was rescheduled to 1/28.  Yes, very frustrating as I had all of my plans, caretakers, childcare in place and have had to rearrange all of it.  Now I find out I may have a different BS on 1/28 because of scheduling conflict.  I am traveling to NY for this surgery and don't know that I can get up there to meet the new BS before the 28th, so now I may have to be the one to reschedule as I am just not comfortable having a BS operate on me and do a BMX without ever having met him.  I was at peace with my plan in place and now everything has turned upside down.....SOO frustrating.....I just want to be on the other side of this surgery already.    

A week ago, right this very minute, I was being wheeled into surgery.....I must say that emotionally and mentally I am SO much better off now than I was then....and even without reconstruction, I don't think it's as bad as I thought it would be.  I agree with frosty....these drain tubes are driving me INSANE!!!  The itching where the drain tubes are sewn in are maddening....I can get no relief from the intense itching.  And showers feel so, so good.....relive the stiffness of the stitches, even though I have steri-strips across the fronts.  I took a closer look at myself - I think there must be at least 12-15 inches of tubing INSIDE my body (that I can see the outlines of) on two of the drains, and at least that much on the outside.  Apparently, I can see them/feel them more because of my thin bod structure.

The one thing I'm finding, is I'm having a hard time maintaining my body posture...keeping shoulders back....hopefully, that will come back when the tubes are out.  I go see my surgeon tomorrow, and two tubes are supposed to be removed (I have four).

So glad everyone is doing so well.....

I really do think the anticipation of it all is worse than going through it.....although I'm sure that's hard to believe when you've not yet "crossed over"....someone told me that the worse thing I could do would be to "rehearse" THE day....I tried and tried *not* to think about it, but my BMX seemed to loom over my thoughts like a dark cloud.  But, she was right. 

For those who are waiting, just stay busy....enjoy the things you LIKE to do....try NOT to think or dwell on your upcoming surgery...easier said than done, I know....but do try

I just got an interview for this Friday and am now slightly panicking on what to wear to cover my lopsided-ness as well as the tubes and bulbs.  My dad suggested a maternity top.  Don't think so!  I agree, Robinlbe -- keeping a straight posture and using my arm are hard, even though it doesn't hurt, I think it will. 

Just keep breathing, as Faithandfifty says, just keep breathing!

faithandfifty - Strength and Courage! Strength and Courage! Strength and Courage! Strength and Courage! This is the hardest part - the anticipation. Just keep breathing and smiling, and when needed cry and let the emotions escape...

frosty - so good to hear from you! I can't believe you have a job interview this Friday - you go girl! Be sure you have someone drive you to and from. How exciting! Something else to focus on - now that this part is behind you.

Blessings and love to those next in line! And supportive hugs and brave hand-holds to those whose dates are ever-so-slowly creeping up on us!

Ok - so I met my PS today, and thank God he doesn't even like Monty Python! (see earlier post about my nightmare last night.) Sooo funny. He's great and I feel much, much better about the plan. I am looking forward to becoming a perkier version of my younger self (was always a bit on the "relaxed" level even though am larger breasted). Tomorrow is pre-op, visit with BS and then more waiting.

Hi, I'm back!  Actually I've been home since Sunday afternoon, just haven't gotten around to posting.  Every time I get on the computer I check my emails first, then facebook and then my plan is to update my blog and then come here, but by the time I finish with the first 2 my time is up.  So, I came here first today and I decided to skip all of the new posts (because yesterday I started reading where I left off and then ran out of time again).  Anyway, I'm going to try to just hit the highlights because I tend to go on and on...

Surgery went off as planned.  My BS said that she didn't see anything new on right side and nothing on left side.  Removed 3 lymph nodes and they all had good prelim. testing, nothing there.  Then PS took over and said that everything went as planned, he was able to give me a good fill after the placement, so I didn't come out flat.  I'd say I'm about an A cup right now, which I was B, so not too dramatic a difference, if you don't look at the incision and all of the lumpy bumpy parts!  But all in all, a rather uneventful surgery.  While I was in the recovery room I made sure to tell my nurses that I had to practice my wave and my smile because I couldn't see my daughter until I was able to smile and wave to her.  As she wheeled me out she said "I think that's you group, smile and wave"  My mom said that my kids were so relieved and excited to see me smiling and waving.  So, I'd say that was my best move to help my kids feel secure.  I had also explained to them that I would be hooked up to tubes and probably look and act like I was really sick and maybe talk a little funny and I'd be flat chested when I came out of surgery. My daughter kept looking at me funny in my room a little later, and finally I asked what was wrong and she said, "you don't look bad like you said you would"  and later she said that I didn't talk funny and yesterday after we had a "gentle hug" she said that I'm not flat like I said I would be either.  So, she was well prepared and didn't have any bad surprises.  As far as the pain, I cannot say that I wasn't in pain, it was bearable, but what made it worse was the fact that after an hour or 2, the anti-nausea meds that they had given me in recovery wore off and I started feeling sick and I had an idiot for a nurse that kept putting me off.  And she was real big on asking my pain level number, but when you're feeling like you're going to throw up and in pain, the number really isn't important, she kept sayign that they didn't order me any nausea meds so I shouldn't need them.  Duh!  Anyway, finally got through to her and got a good night nurse and got everything under control.  The next day was so much better.  So, once you get through the first day it's all uphill.  Each day is a little better.  My skin is actually kind of numb so it's more of a pressure most of the time... the best way to describe the pressure that I'm feeling is to compare it to when I was nursing and my milk came in and I wasn't able to nurse or pump right away, anyone who has nursed knows that feeling, just think of that feeling and multiply it a little and keep it a constant.  But it's really not horrible and like I said it's better every day.  The biggest pain the tush is the drainage tubes, but that's not really surprising and hopefully they'll be coming out Monday when I go back to the plastic surgeon.  Piece of advice, keep nausea under control and make sure and eat with the pain meds.  I have had a few issues with upset stomach from the meds (but everyone is different)... let's just say that at my Monday post op with the plastic surgeon we found out that he too can empty a puke basin!  He was very understanding and helpful, but it wasn't a fun experience.  Anyway, my husband deserves the husband of the year award, he has been fabulous, seeing to the kids and my every need, going above and beyond.  I couldn't have gotten through all of this without him.

Now, here is my biggest piece of advice for everyone.  I spent a few weeks reading through this site, reading all of the different posts that applied to my case, things about the surgery and recovery, and I noticed a big trend...  Most of the women (Not all) seemed to put off looking at their incisions for quite a while and a lot of them never let their husbands see them either ever or not until the reconstruction was complete.  I talked about this to my husband before my surgery and we both agreed that he loves me no matter what and that we both know that initially, it's not going to be pretty, but as long as the cancer is gone and the surgery goes well and I'm healing, it doesn't matter.  So, we made a pact that we would look at my incisions as soon as possible and we'd do it together.  So, I actually got a peak before he did while my dr. checked them, but then I had him help me get ready for my shower Sat. night and we both looked at them.  And no, they're not pretty, they're very lumpy and bumpy, but we knew that, we've both looked at before and afters and durings and we knew what to expect and were prepared.  My husband helps me with everything, he changes my bandages and helps me get ready for shower and after shower he helps.  I cannot imagine trying to keep everything covered while trying to recuperate and not having him there to help me.  I can honestly tell you that I have not cried once since my surgery (except when that stupid nurse wouldn't give me anything for my nausea), I can look at myself in the mirror and not be disgusted, I have no regrets and I have the utmost confidence in my PS.  My favorite nurse from the hospital that changed my bandages after my shower said that she has seen a lot of scars and incisions and she said that mine look great and that my PS did her friends reconstruction and they look fabulous (loved hearing that!).  My hope for everyone is that they can get through all of this and not hate their body.  Love your body and your new girls, try to look at the positive and it will help so much in your attitude and you recovery.  I feel great and so relieved that the cancer is gone from my body now.

I go today to meet with my BS for post op and will hopefully get the final pathology report.  She called me on Tuesday to check on me and said that she thought they'd be in for my appt.  She also gave me the wonderful news that my BRCA test results came back and that they were negative.  What a relief to me and my entire family.  I also meet with an oncologist today, so will post back after my appt.

Bless and Release!

Paula

Paula -- so glad all is well.  Isn't it a relief to be on the "other side" -- a positive note for all of you coming up today.  Special hugs to Faithandfifty who anchors our week.  It started out well for me, so Faithy will finish us up in style.  I really did expect more issues.  Stiff in my shoulder so makes it hard to wash my own hair.  ANd the tubes are a pain.  Hard to sleep on my back even with a wedge.  Ugghh.  Every day is better!

Hi, Binga. I had a bit of a setback. I must have ruptured a vessel that caused a hematoma in my right breast. Had 2 hour emergency surgery Tues. night and lost 3 units of blood. Hopefully I am now on the mend. Remember when you get home: no lifting, pulling or p[ushing. Perhaps the lever on the recliner was the start of this process, but now Im sleeping propped up on the couch. Don't mean to scare you, I was great up until Tuesday. Be very good to yourself and be pateint.

Hi, everyone, If anyone has experienced a hematoma behind tissue expanders, please let me know of your experience. Am I still on course to return to work in 3-4 weeks? I am now anemic from blood loss and taking iron for 10 days. I am a VERY healthy and active 57 year old and want to get myself back as soon as possible. Thanks much!

Paula, thank you for your post.  I am so glad you are doing well.  I think I am going to view the scars with my husband also.  As you said, I don't see how I could hide them as I will be very dependant on him for a while. 

I have been teary all day today, and reading these posts just makes it more so.  I don't have any happy pills, so I will just type through the tears.

Faith, this is it.  You're up.  I'm sure that beings both relief and sadness.  I just have to believe that it will be better on the other side.  I will be holding you in my thoughts tomorrow and will send positive energy and prayers to you.

Strength and Courage

Strength and Courage

Strength and Courage

I'm just back from my 1st post-op visit with my BS....got two drain tubes taken out...yippee!!!

And it was nothing...no pain...no big deal.  I didn't even need to take a deep breath or anything.  The first one was a piece of cake, and the 2nd felt like a slithering snake inside making its way through - just a funny feeling   SOOO glad two are out!!  I go back next week to (hopefully) get the other two out.  BS said everything looks great, and all is healing nicely.  He removed every other steri-strip from my incision where my breasts used to be (no reconstruction), and gave me a copy of my path report.  Didn't realize five nodes were taken, but all five were clean...PTL!

Continuing to remember all of you in prayer, no matter where you are in your journey....

Thanks for your story Pbebow...I'm having the same procedure as you so thanks for sharing.

I can't believe how quick everyone is back on the computer!  And even job interviews for goodness sakes!  (how did that go frosty1?)   So now, I'm looking forward to some quality healing time and take advantage of my approved LOA from work. 

Is anyone using the "Softee two a recovery camisole?"  Some say your PS gives them to you (which will be great to have two of them)  Anyway, they sound great, with a place to put your drains and walk around with little breast forms that don't rub.  I've also had a few spanx camisoles...one with long sleeves so that be nice too.  I'm not sure how much support or not.

Anyway, today was supposed to be my day (changed to the 25th) but I kept busy instead.  Not sure whether to be happy or not....I am however; empowered by this website, this discussion board.  It gives me so much confidence and a positive attitude.  People around me love it...it makes everything so much easier and smoother than drama.  Cancer may have me but it will be on MY terms!

A restful evening to all the January Warriors!

Good news about the tubes being removed not being a big deal... one more thing not to worry about!  I am so ready to be rid of my 2, that's for sure.

About the camisols... I ordered 2 of them and DH had to leave the hospital after I came out of recovery to go and pick them up (insurance wouldn't release them until the day of surgery), then I realized that they had put a "surgical bra" on me, a very soft, stretchy, hook down the front bra.  They put it on right after surgery and it held the gauze pads in place and kind of holds the drains still so every little movement doesn't feel like it's pulling on the stitches, and it's easy to get in and out of.  When I got dressed to go home on Sunday I put the cami over the bra thing and put my shirt on.  After 10 minutes I was like "Get this thing off me!  Now!"  After the lifting arms and moving different ways to get it on and then the added pressure on top of the pressure from the surgical bra, it was just too much.  Haven't had one on since.  The idea is awesome and if I didn't have the bra to wear I would probably wear it.  I have pjs that button down the front that have hip pockets and I wear those and put the drains in the pockets to hold them.  When I go somewhere, I wear a button down shirt with a sweater that has pockets in it to hold the drains.  The tubes still show going from under my shirt to my pockets, but so far haven't went anywhere besides walking around a store with coat on or dr. office so didn't matter.  I am planning to wear the cami tomorrow instead of the bra because we are going out to dinner for mother-in-law's bday, so won't want drains showing.   We took the second cami back today, figured there wasn't a need for 2 since I'll have my drainage tubes taken out on Monday.  Will probably wear the other one for other things, but didn't need 2 $50 camis!  Anyway, that is my experience, but every hospital and every dr. seems to handle the whole situation different.  So, you're dr. might not put you in a surgical bra.  Anyway, that's my story.

To everyone, Faith-n-fifty (I know I never put it just right) good luck tomorrow !  Everything will be fine!  

Bless & Release!

Paula

Faith,

What hospital are you going to?  I am in Cols also, and am hoping mine has private room with sleeper sofa.  I would love to have my husband or mom stay over with me.

My surgery went well, the anticipation of waiting before hand was the worst..I went into surgery finally at 5 and was out by 830  II didnt see the surgeon after or Plastic surgeon, they went out and talked to my husband after...they were both very pleased surgery went so well....back in my room the gas was causing me to gag....finally I told them to take off the oxygen mask and then I was okay....I slept through the night until nurse had to do vitals...In the AM my surgeon came in, said Wow you look good, you can go today at lunch....so 22 hrs after walking into hospital I was going home.....I was glad to be home with my husband and surronded by my 3 sons...my girlfriend dropped off dinner/dessert to us (even though my appetite is still not much)....The drains are not as bad as I thought they were going to be really...we removed the dressing about my site and I was fearful to look but when My husband smiled and said the dr did awesome I was okay to look,  and he did ...he filled it to 400 cc...to a bcup...boy my good side needs a lift  for sure...later.Im just relieved to have the surgery complete, now the waiting for the pathology report is making my stomach in knots and mind wondering...how did you girls handle the waiting ?

Pbebow,

I was told by my PS not to use my arms too much while the drains were in. The more fluid you produce the longer the drains will stay in. You just had surgery so if your measuring the fluid output you might notice it higher if you do more things. Of course you have to do things just don't overdue it is all I meant. Definitely no heavy lifting pushing or pulling.