Hiding over here while the rocks fly my way...

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Running_Violet
Running_Violet Member Posts: 17
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi All,

I've only posted a handful of times on this site, so y'all don't "know" me.  I do, however, read these boards a couple of times a week, but I am digressing...

I just saw something on Facebook that really got me revved up (not in a good way).  Here it is:

"We are playing a game for Breast Cancer Awareness ...... write the color of your bra as your status, just the color, nothing else!! Copy this and pass it on to all girls ...... NO MEN!! This will be fun to see how it spreads, and we are leaving the men wondering why all females just have a color as their status!! Let's have fun!

Part of me knew that I shouldn't have (see my FB post, below)....but I did, and within minutes, my inbox started filling up...

Stating one's bra color for BC awareness is ignorant + insensitive. HOW THE FUCK DOES A WOMAN WHO HAS HAD HER CANCEROUS BREAST(S) REMOVED ANSWER THIS QUESTION? To deepen "awareness", walk/run a race, hold someone's hand during chemo, or help clean/cook/watch kids for someone in treatment. But this game? It is a sad +pointless reminder of what women like myself have lost. Please stop. It is not helping.

I don't have a question for you all, per se; rather, I suppose I'm looking for an indication that somebody understands how I feel...the women on FB are just not getting it, and I'm pretty much in tears having read their frivolous posts about wearing purple bras, pink lacy bras, leapord print bras,...you get the idea...

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited January 2010

    thank you for explaining..

    i was wondering and i agree with you. 

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited January 2010

    Well, you explained the mystery to me!  I saw a few colors posted as status, and figured it was another FB game-type thingie that I'm not especially into, but no one clued me in!  Not even my own sister (whose status was mysteriously "pink") !  But since one of the mystery color status-es I saw was posted by a woman who is Stage IV, and so apparently it didn't offend her, I'm guessing it just strikes different people in different ways.  But I'm sorry it upset you.

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  • Issymom
    Issymom Member Posts: 264
    edited January 2010

    I am so sorry that someone responded this way to you.  Yes many don't get it.  I went to my facebook page and found MANY of my friends have put in their color.  All the responses to the post have been positive or the people just don't know why someone even put in the comment.

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited January 2010

    Running violet.....I never read the original post, but saw a friend of mine posting a color...I think I posted "green" after she wrote "red", but I had no idea what I was responding to.....so go figure why I would respond....she send me a PM explaining after I asked....I had a bilat, so no need for a bra....so after she told me,  I've been responding 'none"...under her posts....I have not put anything in my status....you are right...there are lots of ways to help.....so many good ways to help and this is just silly...and probably not the best way to increase awareness.....there are several gals on fb who have been responding and they are also surviviors......there are lots of gals on fb who do understand and get it.....we all have things that hit a nerve with us.....for some reason this one did not get to me.....you are still new in this journey....it is hard....you expressed how you were feeling....I hope the messages in your inbox were not mean or hurtful....you needed to say what you said.....sending you (((((((((HUGS)))))))))).....

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  • karen_in_nj
    karen_in_nj Member Posts: 59
    edited January 2010

    Oh.... I was wondering what those posts were, I had no clue. Thanks for explaining. I completely agree with you - seems like some stupid stunt that someone who doesn't have BC came up with. Clueless!

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited January 2010

    Yeah, this semi-irritated me..but not too bad.  You have every right to respond the way you did.  You probably did more to "promote breast cancer awareness" to some people than posting a bra color.

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  • Karen09
    Karen09 Member Posts: 320
    edited January 2010

    I saw that on Facebook last night too.  I thought about posting that instead of putting colours to promote breast cancer awareness, maybe all these ladies should go do their self exams and post afterwards so encourage others to do the same! 

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  • Jaimieh
    Jaimieh Member Posts: 2,373
    edited January 2010

    Okay I posted nothing...since I had a bil. and everyone just thinks that I am not wearing a bra....lol.....  Hell yeah I am not wearing a bra I do not have any boobies right now....  Ask me next month and I get to say black.... :) 

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited January 2010

    I find that pretty tacky and offensive. To put "breast cancer" and "game" in the same sentence is about the most clueless thing I've ever heard. It does sound like something someone would come up with who's never had bc.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2010

    Let's not forget ladies .. we have that pretty pink disease.

    I didn't have a clue what that FB color-thing was about either.  But, then, I can't keep up with all that crap on there.  It takes about three pages worth to actually find someone posting something about their family or life.

    I'm not wearing a bra .. did that raise someone's awareness?

    Sorry ladies .. I'm cranky.

    love,

    Bren

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited January 2010

    Frankly I think everyone is as aware of bc as you can be of any disease!  Between Breast cancer month and the 3 day walks and the 200 mile bike rides and susan g komen.....

    and I dont wear a bra either (my so called benefit - a free boob job. sigh)

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  • lorieg
    lorieg Member Posts: 802
    edited January 2010

    Ok, so please don't yell at me b/c I TOTALLY understand why you all are annoyed and ticked off and think the whole FB thing was super tacky.  I, personally, thought it was just a silly game (that did nothing to promote breasct cancer awareness) that was kind of grade school funny for a day.  Maybe it is because I have not had my bilateral MRM yet but for me the very real fear of dying at a super young age far outweighs any sort of attachment to my boobs.  I want them gone now but can't have surgery b/c the damn cancer won't respond to chemo.  When I got the forward about this it did not really seem offensive to me even though I have been doing 5 months of chemo and face surgery, radiation and more chemo.

    My apologies for not being more sensitive....just wanted to give you another point of view so that you see how some of your friends may have not thought things all the way through very well.

    Hugs to you, and sorry.  I think we all just look at things and react to them differently.

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  • swimangel72
    swimangel72 Member Posts: 1,989
    edited January 2010
    Forget breast cancer awareness already - like everyminute pointed out, it's the most "aware" disease we know of............I'd like to start a campaign for a breast cancer CURE...........could we do something on Facebook for that? Maybe those of us supporting a cure - and supporting women who have lost their breasts - could post the word "BURNED" on Facebook instead of a color - meaning, we are fighting angry women who have decided to burn all our cute bras in desperation for a cure! The word "BURNED" could also mean - our skin is burned from radiation - our families are burned from this awful experience - our bodies and hair are burned from chemo.........so we have decided to burn cute bras until there is a cure! We need to become more militant in demanding research dollars go toward a CURE (especially for Stage IV disease).........this is taking just waaaay too long! We'll have colonized the moon and Mars by the time they ever find a cure! Money mouth
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  • lorieg
    lorieg Member Posts: 802
    edited January 2010

    Swimangel,

    I am with you on that....isn't everyone aware of breast cancer by now??? 

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  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 1,549
    edited January 2010

    I am SOOOO glad I am not the only one who was offended.  I don't have boobs either and I told the 2 people who "invited" me to join in the "game"...."After bilat mast, no boobs, sorry...I don't need a bra anymore" I hoped they would get my sarcasm.  The funny thing is, the people who sent it to me are bc survivors, too.  They just didn't have to have the mast.  Sometimes I DO wear a bra with prosthesis, but that wasn't my point.  I thought it was an extremely insensitive way to bring awareness to breast cancer and it hurt me.

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  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 1,106
    edited January 2010

    It just goes to show we are all wired differently. I just posted, "not applicable", and honestly, didn't think too much more about it. I can absolutely see how it would be really upsetting though. I'm sorry you were hurt by it, and I hope you felt comfortable explaining that you were hurt and why to your friends (real friends, not facebook friends) and that they were understanding.

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  • susu1976
    susu1976 Member Posts: 106
    edited January 2010

    I had no idea why everyone was posting a color on their FB page.  I agree that it is in poor taste and insensitive to those who have had mastectomies.  I'm a BMX.  BC is no "game."

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  • carpediemocc
    carpediemocc Member Posts: 53
    edited January 2010

    Running Violet - Although I haven't seen any status posted colors I totally understand. I just barely tolerate the whole breast cancer awareness thing. I know it's necessary, but still.

    This reminds me. Does anyone else notice other womens clevage A LOT more than you did before or is it just me?

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  • scrappy_survivor
    scrappy_survivor Member Posts: 149
    edited January 2010

    When I got the message I simply posted none & had a giggle at what people would reply to me. I have no boobs & no plans on getting foobs. I think the awareness is there & we need to find a cure... I tried to look at it as maybe this will remind someone to do a breast exam today. for them their CURE might be early detection because of that game. I don't think many people undrstand what we go through or deal with & in some ways I am grateful for that becuase I don't want their sympathy or pity 24 hours a day. So I would rather them be light hearted about some things.

    So sorry this upset you or hurt you. BIG HUGS

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited January 2010

    I understand as to why it would bother some people, but it didn't bother me.

    If anyone wants to friend me on FB - my name is Kim Parsons Bookholt. 

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  • Mai605
    Mai605 Member Posts: 64
    edited January 2010

    I saw the same, and couldn't figure out what was going on.... it's kind of like, "Ok, what's the joke, and why am I not included???"  Now I get it I guess, and feel bad when I remember a couple that read, "Sexy Black".  I just had my exchange surgery recently, how 'bout, "Sexy Surgical White???"  Ooooooooooooooh, now THAT'S sexy!

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  • LynnVA
    LynnVA Member Posts: 174
    edited January 2010

    A friend warned me what was going on before I actualy checked FB.  I wonder why no one sent it to me?  Guess I am aware enough! 

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2010

    I posted my color of "none" because I dont wear one because no more boobies.  I did not see any connection how this "game" is connected to BC awareness.  But I did it as fun to keep the guys guessing.  I did find it was fun that ppl wanted to know.  But like I said I saw no connection with awareness.  I am sorry you got upset about it. 

    We know that so many people get so involved in Oct. but then unless you are one of us they forget about it the other 11 months out of the year.  At least it brought bc to the front for a few days again.  Did it do any good?  Probably not.  

    As far as ppl being less than nice to you about your post, screw them.  We all deal with this dreadful disease in our own way.  I for one am the angry one.  Was angry at dx and angry nowYell.  Not angry that I got it, angry that it exists at all.  

    Hope you have a better day.

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  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited January 2010

    That must feel really rotten. To be honest I had not looked at it that way.

    When I worked in local news we did some goofy stuff to remind people to do BSE's...We wore pink once a month on X date because we were channel x.

    Not sure if it did much to help. I kind of put this in that category until I read your post.

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  • nowords
    nowords Member Posts: 423
    edited January 2010

    People who know I have BC sent it to me, along with many other BC things over the past months. People think that they are doing good. I let it go. Same way that you can't tell folks that all the $ made off of yellow ribbon magnets for bumpers barely benefits the troops...people just want to "DO SOMETHING"...

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited January 2010

    I got that one, too, and ignored it.  I don't have time for that stuff, to begin with.  And I do feel funny a lot when friends talk about their boobs, bras, etc.  I think it is insensitive on their parts, but I try to ignore it.  How the heck is something like that helping anyone?

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2010

    today it is continuing but without anything to do with awareness.  I really didnt think yesterday had anything to do with awareness as much as a game to keep the guys out.

    Todays are... Post your hair in a decrypted way, and/or same thing about your underwear.

    For instance, if you are wearing granny panties put a # 4, thong #1, hair if your hair is long and straight your to post "give it to me straight". 

    I am really sorry yesterday upset you.  Hugs

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited January 2010

    I saw the "game" yesterday, too. Since I've had two mastectomies I'm glad my family and friends remembered I am a flat-lander and didn't send it to me. Some days I get ticked off and other days I let it pass by...

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited January 2010

    I saw it too yesterday.  I can understand why some people are angry about it.  However....I (suprisingly) did not interpret it that way.  I saw it and was thinking how glad I am that I am alive and am able to post anything about myself. lol.  One of my friends asked me if I knew what she meant when she posted black.  I posted back my color (blue) and that I pay tons of money to buy cute ones in pretty colors. 

    Also, I agree. It does nothing to help find a cure and I don't think it really does anything for awareness.

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  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited January 2010

    I didn't mind the posting of colours although I didn't post mine. I don't need any help at all becoming aware of this thing. I was a bit surprised by one friend who posted a return comment with a link to an article saying that wearing a bra is a contributing cause of cancer. Huh?!?!  So now it's my fault for wearing a bra? I think not.

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