First Follow Up for 2010

OK, Pep talk coming up....you will be fine. You are fine! Better than that, you are great, fabulous, wonderful!

You will walk in after worrying for weeks, spend 5 monutes with your Onc, and leave wondering what all the stress was about!! That is what happens usually with me.

Really, if you are feeling well, and have no pain, it will all go smoothly.  Just one foot in front of the other, and you will get through it.

Think how wonderful you will feel tomorrow evening! 

I don't think they will ever get easier. Mine is next week and I am already stressing. 

I had mine about a month ago and I was fine. You will be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the mean time, stay busy. Chin up!!

-Helena.

Mine is tomorrow too (945am) - I dont worry about the appointment.  I love my onc and the staff is like old friends.  I am feeling well (except for lymphedema flare up and some cellulitis - :-(  but the tumor markers scare the CRAP out of me!!!!  So I wont have those test results until Wednesday or Thursday - I will spend the next few days trying not to throw up.

BUT let me tell you about my last 3 month check up....

I went in for my reg appt.  First they do blood work.  Everyone comments on my hair (like I am the first person to come into onc office with hair!!!) Onc told me how good I look, blah blah blah, examines me, chats a bit and asks if I have any questions. 

I say "well, I cant handle the stress of tumor markers - I am hoping that now that you have been my doctor for over a year!!! that I can trust you"

She said "Yes, just live your life.  I will call you if there is a problem - if you dont hear from me - all is well"

So - I realize that my appt was on Friday and Monday is a holiday so if I am going to hear it wont be til Tuesday.  On Tuesday I am trying not to throw up so I go to Target and get some retail therapy (a very cute purple hobo purse).  Walk in the office and my receptionist says "Your doctor called while you were out - I put them in your voice mail"

So - now my legs are jello and I am trying not to puke.  Get back to my desk - no voice mail. Ok - does that mean it was so bad she didnt leave a message??  And why didnt she just call cell???  And now it is lunch time and I cant reach anyone and I am a freaking puddle!!!!  My friend comes in my office and tries to pull me together and while we are talking she realizes that the other girl in the office named MARY also had a doc appt last week!  So she goes and talks to her and she calls her doc office and yes, indeed it was her doc office calling with lyme disease results (negative).  They couldnt leave a message on my voice mail because of hipaa violations. Once they had the wrong Mary they just hung up.

SOOOO - now I am a shaky, pukey, puddly mess and I decide - ok, i cant not know.  So I call the doc office and speak to my favorite nurse and tell her - I want my TM results.  I can't stand the unknown.

They were never run.  They took my blood and never sent it out (long story as to why but it wasnt oncs fault)!  WTF?  So I wouldnt have gotten a call because the onc would have never seen results.

SOOOOOO - now I am a pissed off, shakey, pukey, puddly mess and I drag my ass back over to onc office and get them to rerun my blood work and the next am at 9am I get a call from my favorite chemo nurse.

No "hello", No "hi mary", Just "9.5"  :-)  (I love that girl)

So moral of the story - it was fine, even when I was freaking out and planning my funeral outfit, even when I was scared and sure the doc was calling to tell me I had to go back on chemo, even when I couldnt trust the oncs office not to F- up, it was still fine.

Ill be thinking of you tomorrow. Mary

Know that stress well. Actually, mine has gotten worse with time because I only go once a year now, so I figure a lot of shit can happen in a year. When I used to go every three months or so I figured if things were fine in Jan. they will be fine in April. Will be waiting to hear from you!

Great to hear, I was thinking about you and Mary all day.

Weesa....I thought it would get easier when the visits were less frequent....I hadn't thought about what you said....geeze....and I've been complaining about still being on a 3 month schedule....oh well, I don't go again till the middle of  March......but my  4 year anniversary is coming up next month and it is so paramount on my mind.....will BC ever stop being a part of my daily thougts!!!!

Well, DCMom, a totally uneventful visit, way to go!

Mary, Check in.  Hope all went well. 

Karen1956--yeah, I probably shouldn't have said anything about anxiety vs. waiting a year for a checkup.I should just feel grateful I'm well enough to go to the onc's once a year.My body is healed, but my mind is neurotic and dysfunctional for about a month before my annual appointment. About an hour before I take a gigantic tranq, I can't even feel it but I think it might keep me from stroking out on the drive over there.