need more support for my decision

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  • Mantra
    Mantra Member Posts: 968
    edited November 2009

    My original plan was to have my breast removed without having immediate reconstruction. My surgeon's opinion was to wait a year and then make a decision once I have lived without a breast for a while. She said after a year, most of her patients decide they are quite happy the way they are and never go on to have the reconstruction.

    Somehow, my plan changed and I got caught up in the moment and next thing I knew I was signing a paper saying I wanted immediate reconstruction. Oh, if I could only go back in time!! I had my mastectomy on Sept 16. My tissue expander is completely positioned incorrectly. I ended up being referred to one of the top reconstruction surgeons who now has no choice but to remove my expander, put a new one in, and begin the process all over again. The new expander will be done in April or May and a full year will have passed before I finally have my implant next Sept.

    I probably could have the expander removed and not proceed any further. . . and at times that is exactly the route I  think I should choose. But part of me keeps thinking I've gone through all this extra pain and anxiety and maybe I might regret throwing in the towel at this point. I guess there really is no right answer but I do hate wasting another year of my life just to have an implant.

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited November 2009

    Oh go play with her samples- then utlize your plan and no one will be the wizer. LOL

    Enjoy,

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  • starzhere
    starzhere Member Posts: 162
    edited November 2009

    Congratulations, Michele!

    I'm glad that you're happy, since it was a tough decision to make.  

    ~elaine~

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  • starzhere
    starzhere Member Posts: 162
    edited November 2009

    Mantra,

    Maybe reconstruction is the right decision for you, since you seem to feel that you haven't arrived at the  end of the road. 

    Interestingly enough, I didn't want reconstruction, because I had gone through the pain and anxiety and didn't want to waste any more of my time giving the disease power over me.  I gladly gave up the idea of reconstruction and moved forward.  Twenty years later and I haven't regretted my decision.

    ~elaine~

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited November 2009

    Elaine 

     did you read my mind and feelings??? That is totally me and yet I do understand the recon thing if a person has the strenght to stand the surgeries- very personal decision. I was giving this a ONE time shot and OUT.

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  • MaineCoonKitty
    MaineCoonKitty Member Posts: 125
    edited November 2009

    No recon of any kind for me.  I lugged around D and DD's from the time I was 14 and hated every minute of the catcalls and underwire bras that were necessary to support those hooters.  I could not wait to be free of all that.  I only had a left-side mastectomy. but begged my surgeon to take the other healthy one too, but she wouldn't.  So I had it reduced down to a small B.  Most of the time, I don't even have to wear a bra at all because I'm so nearly flat that I don't wear the foob.  For work and for dress-up clothes, I wear either a sports bra or a very small size B and that enough to keep the foob in place and it give me plenty of support for the real boob.

    I LOVE doing all the things that big boobs restricted me from doing for so many years - sleeping on my stomach, not having to wear a bra 24/7, being able to wear halter tops, tank tops, and pretty blouses that button up the front, running, and finding bathing suits that don't need an underwire for support.  It's a personal decision for every woman, but there's no way I would ever go back to not being able to see my feet in the shower!  Wink

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  • BMac
    BMac Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2009

    Hi, Michele, I'm the opposite of you.  I had a bliat mast in April 08 and wanted immediate reconstruction but my  surgeon said I have to wait two years because of the chance of recurrence.

    I now have very slight lymphedema and my lymphedema massage therapist is cautioning me against recon.  The one thing I have most been looking forward to is recon and it upsets me that I may not be able to have it.

    I have prostheses and I have to say that they are very realistic.  I look like my "old" self so am very happy with them.  I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world if I have to stay the way I am, I'm just limited with necklines.

    Having said all that, it is your decision.  Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready to do.  It's major surgery and if you're not ready to do it now, wait.  You can get it done in the future and give yourself time to go through treatments and heal.

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited December 2009

    OK all you ladies who have had a BMX without recon-no chem, no rads, how long after surgery did it take for your energy to return to "old normal"? My BMX was on 10/19 and my young and I think naive primary care doc just said "MY DH is a PS and he tells every one 4 weeks to get their energy  back" Who is he speaking to ? certainly not 56 y/o women- Please those who have gone before me- how long did it take for your energy to come back?

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  • keno41
    keno41 Member Posts: 91
    edited December 2009

    Melissa,

     I am 52. I had a bilateral mx on Aug.27 with no chemo, no rads and no recon. I can honestly say, that I am just starting to feel like myself again. I also am just starting to not have any kind of tightness or burning in my chest. I have been on Tamox for 2 months now and that is making me tired only because I don;t sleep with the night sweats that I have!

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited December 2009

    Melissa, I also had a BMX without recon, chem, or rads.  It took a good six months for my energy to come back.   My surgery was six hours and I think the anesthesia did a number on me.   After a year  my energy levels are normal; however, I still deal with the after effects from surgery - tight chest and lymphedema.

    I agree with you that your pcp is naive.  At four weeks I was just starting physcial therapy.   

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  • franie
    franie Member Posts: 73
    edited December 2009

    Hi Michele, I am glad you like your decision. I am sure with the experience of wearing one breast form made your decision easier. I am a 40 something bilateral and choose not to have skin sparing surgery. I feel being flat makes a better fit for the breast forms and looks better. As you don't need to match an existing breast you could order forms over the internet. I was a DDD and choose to be the same size after surgery. With forms I do have the option to change size someday if I choose. With implants it would have been more difficult and expensive.

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited December 2009

    yes naive is the nice way to put it- I have just written her a long letter that I intend to drive into my office and fax to her- she is , well, young. Thanks for hanging in with me, I know we alll have our ups and downs but it is helpful when you have a core group of understanding friends!

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited December 2009

    Having an immediate reconstruction will not fix your depression.  It's far more likely that the depression will interfere with healing from such a surgery, and make dealing with the expander fills more uncomfortable (depression causes physical pain and intensifies pain caused by injury, and a needle stick is an injury).  If you don't want recon now, don't agree to it.  Have you had a chance to truly explore all the recon alternatives?  Is TE/implant your only choice for recon?  Have you even had a chance to find out about all these little details?  Tell the docs to stop pushing you, If they keep pushing you, call off the mastectomy until they back off.  You are in control, don't let the docs take that away from you. 

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited March 2011

    Edited to redact a post with personal information.

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited January 2010

    Groundhog- GOOD FOR YOU! I DID A BMX W/O RECON ON 10/19 AND NO REGRETS- JUST ADJUSTMENTS= YOU CAN DO IT! My mom had a radical when I was 15- 41 years ago and no help at all, went back to work and single handedly raised 5 girls.READ every thing about Lymphadema BEFORE your surgery and see an LE specialist for arm measurements prior to surgery! LOVE YA

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  • llm822
    llm822 Member Posts: 77
    edited January 2010

    I started a very similar thread on the Breast Reconstruction section of this message board (http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topic/744948?page=1).  I'm still trying to make my decision, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

    Lisa

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited January 2010

    HANG IN AND KEEP READING AND THINKING (YEA-RIGHT- LIKE YOU CAN STOP, RIGHT?)

    YOU WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU. i AM REALLY FEELING GOOD, ALMOST LIKE THE ME BEFORE BC!

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