Tears and Fears

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worldchampmom
worldchampmom Member Posts: 11
edited June 2014 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
Tears and Fears
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  • worldchampmom
    worldchampmom Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2010

    One yeard ago after I was diagnosed with DCIS I had a masectomy with immediate recinstruction. Four surgeries and procedures later I guess I am finally put back together. Other than the unfamiliar feeling of "Whos boobs are these." life has returned to normal except for a couple of thigs. When do the tears stop? Every time the subject is brought up I break down. My suppost system has been ok but I feel so alone when it comes to my BC. I feel that nobody understands what I really went through. I especially resent all of the "Your so lucky" comments I get. What part of getting your boobs cut off makes you lucky! Then there is the fear. Every ache and pain scares me to death. So afraid of getting sick again. Really need suppoort and any advise that might help me. I live in a small town where I dont have many friends. Can anyone help. I am in need. Hugs to all.

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited January 2010

    Cathy,

    I am just starting my journey, so I can't tell you when the tears stop.  I do have a friend who is 4+ years out from diagnosis and she says it will get better.  There are a lot of ladies on this board who are past this and I'm sure one of them will chime in here for you.

    Please know that you are not alone.  There are a lot of us in this with you.  Anytime you need to rant or cry or throw a pity party, come on this board.  Someone is always here and we do understand.

    Sally :)

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited January 2010

    I don't think any of those people who give you the "You're so lucky" line want to stand in your place.

    I have a friend who's stage 4, and she said she was told by a friend, "When someone says 'you're so strong' what they really mean is'your life sucks and I'm so glad I'm not you'".

    Sally's right, you can come here for sympathy. I'm over a year since my mast (no recon) and had chemo and rads and face a possible prophy mast on the other side. I still cry sometimes, though not as often. The tears will stop on your own schedule.

    Sending you (((((((((hugs))))))))))).

    Leah

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  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited January 2010

    Cathy - you have been through an awful lot in just a  year and a half. All the intense focus on the breast cancer and reconstruction, the hospitalizations and doctors visits  And suddenly it is over.  You have done all in your power to keep being that champion mom, you have come out the other side and you feel adrift.

     you are supposed to feel grateful that your cancer was caught early? I am sure you do, but what you had to go through was awful. You need to vent and get confirmation that you have been through alot and that you have valid fears about the future and that it is ok to mourn over the changes in your life. And if you can't find that kind of support where you live, then you can find it here.

    However,  Is it possible that through the hospital where you had your surgeries, you could be put in contact with other breast cancer survivors in your area? also, you might be able to find some on bco. 

    Hugs back to you

    Julie E

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited January 2010

    Cathy, what you are feeling is completely normal.  It's an issue that comes up quite a bit... all those feelings that emerge only after treatment is done.  So many of us have gone through it; I know I did.

    I will bump up a couple of old discussion threads for you on this topic, one here in the DCIS forum and another in the reconstruction forum.  The thread in this forum is called "Sadness after treatment" and here's a link to the thread in the Reconstruction forum, called "I was fine, but 6 months later I'm SO SAD about my loss":  http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topic/734772?page=5#post_1527572

    I hope that by reading these threads you will see that you are not alone and that how you feel is normal.  The good news is that over time, these feelings will lessen, and eventually, hardly be present at all.  I promise!

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