two days ago first chemo

Beija, I'm so sorry the infusion room was depressing.  Is there another room you can receive chemo in?  If not, please hold on to the fact that the nurse was so nice to you and be sure and talk to her next time--you can even tell her how you are feeling.  I just finished chemo the end of November--and I remember when I had my first consultation with an oncologist--i ended up going early for my appointment (1 hour) and boy, was i ever glad i did.  The room was so crowded and all the coming and going--it just didn't feel good at all.  The oncologist i went to see was absolutely one of the top but I knew I couldn't heal in an environment like that.  So i was given another onc doc's name and it has worked out so well--and looking back on my appointment, my new oncologist took me to meet the oncology staff who worked in the infustion room and to see the room, which was so kind.  It will get better, Beija.  Keep us posted.

   friscosmom:  I love Paints!!  I rode a red and white tovero for 3 years.  but gettin back to chemo, why don't you ask to see the infustion room before your first chemo?  That might make it easier.  Another suggestion is to take several friends with you.  As you can see from aboved, I finished chemo at the end of November--I was absolutely terrified and i ended up getting throught it so well.

On a happier note, tell me about frisco, if you feel like it.

Lizzie 

I had my chemo in 2007 but I remember it well.  I live in a rural community and we had our tx at the oncologists office,  It was a weird place to be in as they had shared space with the doctor I worked with as a back office nurse (OB/Gyn) and now it was totally devoted to oncology/hematology.  However I knew all the staff and so that helped.  There were only about 8 chairs in the room, and the most depressing part was the conversations the other patients had with each other.  So from the first time on, I arranged to have a friend come and sit with me to distract me from the chatter.  I tried to listen to music on my portable player but from the first few drops of medications I started feeling weird.  Headache, antsy, feeling ill in a non specific way.

I had made a point of viewing the whole process simply as strong medicine with inevitable side effects and trying to go along.  By the 5th treatment I decided to stop as the side effects of the taxotere were too intense and so when I came in for #6 I told my onc (who I did not like that much) that I was quitting and he was surprised to see me crying, he said he had never seen me cry - I guess he didn't see the boxes of tissues I had gone through since the Dx.  I said I could not tolerate the taxotere and he told me it could be omitted and he would just increase the cytoxan and adriamycin doses.  I was pretty worn out by then so it was a relief to have that part of the treatment end.  2 years later, it's just a memory and as a result of having gone through some really painful and stressful days, I feel stronger, braver and able to handle all kinds of stuff.

So to all of you struggling with pain, weakness, headaches, lack of appetite and what ever else, I say, this too shall pass and be just a memory.  You are all brave.