TN starting Chemo in January - two small children at home

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11tyBillion
11tyBillion Member Posts: 96
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

I got the TN bomb dropped on me last night by my Genetic Councellor.  As if getting all of the other crappy bits of news dropped on my head the last month has not been hard enough, I did NOT see this one coming.  I had a bilateral mx Dec.2nd, and I found out today that my treatments will start Jan.6.

i had a "clear margin" 5 mm of the chest wall (too close for my comfort), so I GUESS that rads might not be needed (My Oncologist and Rad.Dr are going to be discussing this.)  I have an Ovary sonogram tomorrow (SCARED to DEATH of bad news that I will get kicked in the teeth AGAIN with some new absolutely shitty news with that...)

Okay, so to the point I guess ... I am going to be looking at about 5 months of some sort of aggressive chemo treatment.  FIne with me, I'd ratehr be aggressive than not.  The thing is, we have no family in town to help, and I have tow ssmall children at home (2 and 4).The 4 y.o. is in preschool.  how am I going to do this?  Staying away from the little kid germs? the fatigue?  am I going to have to quarantine off a section of the house to live in for 5 months, and are we going to have to some how come up with the $$$ to send both children to all day day care for those 5 months if I am too ill to care for them during the day?  I really REALLY need to hear from another TN momma who made it through this mess.   

 The ONLY glimmer of light I MIGHT have in this is that my mother had BC in 1992.  She also had a bilateral mx.  There was no TN test then, and my mom, she is a BAD PATIENT .... she did not go back to the hospital after her mx, and she did not get chemo until ONE YEAR LATER after her LN's swelled up under her arms ... she had  no oomph. and she is still alive and well today.  My grandma (my mom's mother) had BC in her 60's, had a single MX, and had NO chemo, and lived well into her 90's.  AND, my GREAT grandmother (my grandma's mom) ALSO had BC, and lived wellinto her 70's with no mx or treatment what so ever.   Needless to say, I tested + for BRCA1.  THey were all survivors ... we all apparently have this BRCA mutation... does this mean that me, my mom, my grandma, and g-gma, could we all also be TN as well?  

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  • kmartin
    kmartin Member Posts: 78
    edited December 2009

    Hi and glad you have found this site,

    My experience was that after round 1 and 2 of TAC I was very fatigued for about 5 days, then gradually felt stronger until the next round...but after round 3 I was kicked in the @R#T. I had about 10 days of fatigue, had a fever and was admitted to the hospital to try to find the source of the fever, to no avail. I would plan to get extra help with the kids for about 1 week after chemo, to start. Hopefully, because you are younger than me, you will only need that amount of time to start to recover.

     About the germs...while you should limit your exposure to your kids if they are ill, you don't need to isolate yourself from them or anyone else. Stay out of large, crowded spaces and follow your body's need for rest....you will be very fatigued. Accept all offerings of help from friends, neighbors and others you know.

     RT also make you feel fatigued, but nothing like CT.

    Finally, there is a site dedicated to TNBC called the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation. You may find it very helpful as well as this site.

    Good Luck, and hang in there,

    Kathy

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  • ddlatt
    ddlatt Member Posts: 448
    edited December 2009

    just sent you a private message

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  • trishtread
    trishtread Member Posts: 1
    edited December 2009

    I just finished seven rounds of dose dense chemo.  I have a twelve year old (who has high functioning autism) whom I am homeschooling.  I was very concerned as to how I would pull this off!! It amazed me how once people knew of our need they supplied meals and "borrowed" my son.  We also have no family in the area. I did feel tired and had some very bad headaches which landed me in the hospital.  However, there were many days when I was able to go about my business and do what needed to be done.  I had to let certain things go, such as a clean house! Some days my son watched more videos than I would have liked!  Like you my greatest worry was for how my child would do and if I could do my job and take care of him!  Obviously your two are very small but still ..... Please don't be shy about asking your community for help and accepting it when it is offered!

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  • iluvlife
    iluvlife Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2009

    Hello!!!

     You are going to be able to do this!!!!

    I have a 3 year old (not in preschool) and an 8 year old.  And minimal family help, other than my husband.  I typed you this LONG email about how you are going to be able to do this and how amazed I was with my first chemo and SE, I am AC Bi weekly x 4, then 12 weeks Taxol....and then the computer ate it!!!

    I started chemo 2 weeks ago and was really uncertain how I was going to do it, but I have been....will touch base again when Mommy has more computer time, I've used my alloted time for today!!! LOL

    Hang in there and you will do just fine!!!

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  • onesickboob
    onesickboob Member Posts: 19
    edited December 2009

    You can do it! 

    I finished 8 rounds on November 12th and my daughter turned 2 on December 13th.  The fatigue is cumulative, so it is rougher in the end.  I had treatments on Thursdays, so my husband was able to take charge on the weekends.  It is amazing how much people WANT to help.  I did have lots of help....no family in town, but my mother in law is 45 minutes away and my sisters came after every treatment.  One lives 3 hours away; adjusted her schedule to be here and help and the other lives much further away, but came twice.  It was great to have them here and in the beginning when I didn't feel too icky, we went about our normal activities with an Auntie along.  My husband didn't have to miss much work because of this, but his job is very flexible with our situation.  Our schedule changed a lot....I rest with my daughter when she takes her nap every day and we watch too much tv, but we are together! 

    It is not always pleasant, but it is do-able.  You might be surprised about how cooperative and sympathetic small kids can be through this.  They still need the basics no matter how Mom feels and when you feel bad, basics can be pretty basic, but those are the things that can provide the normalcy you'll (all) want in the middle of all the craziness. 

    Hang in there, really....you CAN do it!

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  • 11tyBillion
    11tyBillion Member Posts: 96
    edited December 2009

    Boy, it takes a while to catch up with all the posts on here, doesn't it?  I totally forgot where I had posted this message!

    iluvlife and onesickboob:   thank you so much for your encouragement!  We have very similar pathologies, and I am wondering what kinds of treatments we are all having? 

    We visited my Onc. last Wed., and we decided to go with the DD (dose dense) AC/T.  So i think that is the bi-weekly treatments (I cannot for the life of me remember how many ... 8 weeks (4x bi-weekly)?, followed by 12 weeks (1x a week) Taxol or Taxotere.  We were talking about so many different treatment regimes, that by the time of the end of the visit, my mind was numb, and the notebook I keep on the visits, is out in the car .... I also got my port emplaced last Wednesday as well. I think in the long run, I will be happy with the port, as the nurse had to do some "digging" to get the IV set this last time for surgery (ugh...) so thank goodness not to have ot go through that shit again.

    One thing I kind of told myself is that if the AC/T proves to be too hard on my heart, then I always have the FEC to fall back on ... don't know what kind of reassurance that is for me, but still, I had to try to find something positive in there to fall back on.

    There are times that I just feel so overwhelmed because there seem to be SO MANY different types of chemo, and SO MANY different experiences and outcomes ... it seems so damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    so frustrating, and frightening at times.

    thank you so much for your replies!

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  • onesickboob
    onesickboob Member Posts: 19
    edited December 2009

    Hi again!

    I had neoadjuvant chemo, 8 rounds, one every three weeks.  I am also on a clinical trial and think I got a bigger dose than is standard.  The first four were taxotere and the last four were A/C.  It seems like most people get the A/C first.  I also got avastin with the first 5 or 6 rounds per the trial.  My tumor was estimated at about 7cm when I was (finally) diagnosed. 

    I just had my bilateral mastectomy on December 14th and met with the radiation oncologist yesterday.  I will have 33 rounds of radiation and they will probably start that the 2nd week in February.  I got tissue expanders and am now going through the JOYOUS process of getting fills.  I have decided after two fills that this is the worst part of my "journey" so far.  I guess I have little tolerance for physical pain!  I will also have more avastin (trial) and can't have surgery for some amount of time after that.  I will have my exchange surgery and a hysterectomy next fall.

    Fun stuff, right?  I was really in a crappy mood yesterday after seeing the radiation oncologist.  I had to tell him the whole story from the beginning and was just reminded all over again how "special" I am to be so young (36) and BRCA+ and triple negative, etc.  I feel like I have gotten caught up in the treatment and really haven't given much thought lately to the cancer part.  I know that sounds weird...

    Oh, also....about the germs....I had the neulasta shot after 7 of my 8 treatments.  It boosts your blood cells so that you are not as vulnerable. 

    Good luck to you!  When do you start?

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  • iluvlife
    iluvlife Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2009

    Hello ladies and a Happy New Year!!! (a bit early but day 3 last TX was my down day, so not sure if I'll be on)

    I had my second tx yesterday of AC ( I am 4 tx biweekly, then 12 straight weeks of taxol) I do the Nuelasta 24 hours after my tx but got done so late last night I'm going tomorrow AM for it.

    My hair is thinning massively so I am planning on taking the clippers to it this week, so I can be in control of this part!!! 

    I had a left mastectomy on 11/11, and have a TE in, once chemo is done I am going to remove my right breast and TE that one and then do the exchange...I hate the expander the most!!!! I feel like its a rock on my chest!!!

    And Billion thank you for the encouragement....the whole triple negative through me for a loop, no history of BC in my family and then bam....that to me was the OMG moment....but I do realize now atleast they know about it and years ago your probably right your family memebers STILL GOING STRONG!!!! Were probably Triple also....so thank you so very much for sharing that!!! 

    We will prevail!!! Kick butt and take names ladies!!!

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  • Debbie68
    Debbie68 Member Posts: 23
    edited January 2010
    trishtread: I sent you a PM.
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