Can we talk? about drinking...

weesa
weesa Member Posts: 707

Happy holidays to all the wonderful stage 3'ers here I have come to love!

 I have hesitated for several weeks to bring this up because it is small potatoes compared to what most of you are faced with right now, but here goes: The holidays here in this sleepy little appalachian town so much revolve around lavish cocktail parties with fabulous food and wonderful libations. Not only that, my family owns and runs a charming Irish Pub which has become the epicenter of life in our town. I love to sit in its front windows overlooking Main Street when it snows with a steaming cup of Irish Coffee. In the summer nothing is better than stopping in for an ice cold gin and tonic with a big slice of lime. And anytime a cool creamy Guinness seems to call me. (After all, "Guinness is Good for You.") My husband is a wine connoisseur and family dinners always center around choosing the right bottle to accompany the food.

The first several years during treatment and beyond I had no desire to drink. But now I find myself drinking every few days, convincing myself, well, it was so and so's birthday, or somebody bought me a drink I can't insult them, or it's Christmas... etc etc. I know I risk a recurrence. Somehow, I feel I deserve to go back to my former pleasures after so long, a certain complacency is settling in. But when I step back and look, I don't like it, especially since I recently stopped the AI's.

Just thought I would throw this out for discussion and maybe there are kindred spirits ( no pun intended) out there. At any rate,it shows that your pressing issues will change as the years go by!

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Comments

  • rreynolds1
    rreynolds1 Member Posts: 450
    edited December 2009

    Hi Weesa,

    Boy could I use a drink right now. LOL.  I have struggled with the same thing and have done lots of reading on the subject.  Booze is not good for us so we need to get a handle on it but I don't have the answers.  I have restricted alcohol to twice a week (only on week ends) and limit consumption to 2 drinks at a time.  I used to drink wine every night after work.  It was my wind down at the end of the day.  Another thing BC has taken away from me!

    Roseann

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Weesa - I am with you totally. I love to drink. Love my red wine in the winter, a light white in the summer, a cold beer at the cottage....I am a little shy as well, and I have always found it to be a great social lubricant. On a normal day, I would drink at least two glasses of wine a night - one when I was cooking dinner, another with my husband after the kids were in bed. I never thought I drank "too much"

    After I was diagnosed I did read that moderate consumption could raise my risk of recurrence, but a safe level was 1/2 glass a day - so i would have a glass of wine on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings. I missed it during the week, but I thought I had reached a good compromise. Now I am reading that maybe even 3 drinks a week could raise my risk by 35% or something crazy. I really am not sure what I will do - maybe just cut back more to Saturday nights only...??

    It actually really pisses me off to tell you the truth. I feel I have lost so much to this jolly disease, I hate that it just is taking even more. 

  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited December 2009

    Yeah, this statistic kinda pisses me off ;)   I have a friend who died from liver cirrosis (sp) due to alcoholism and my chances of recurrence increase that much for just a few drinks a week?  I'm not a daily drinker...but I do like a good beer or glass or 2 of wine when out with friends.  What happened to the "red wine is good for you" ..full of antioxidents? LOL

    I won't let breast cancer take my fun away.  I don't drink daily or heavily when I do drink.  I say..it's all in moderation and if I want a glass of wine or a Corona with lime...dammit I'm gonna have one...or two. :)

  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited December 2009

    I have cut down on my wine.  But I never drank a lot...if you don't include my teen years.  Maybe 3 glasses of wine a week.  Now I usually only have wine or martini (my fav) on special occasions. Like last night.  Two Christmas parties.  I ate sugary things and dips with fatty stuff in it too.  Ohhh, it was soooo good.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    I'm with you Bugs, and though I love my red wine with a plate of pasta or a steak,  or a nice creamy Guinness with a pastrami sandwhich, or a glass of cold chardonnay with  a shrimp scampi or salmon dinner,  I don't drink every day or even every weekend,  but I will finish only half the glass.  Yesterday I went out for lunch with DH and we ate at the bar of a favored local pub, and I ordered a glass of chardonnay.  I only finished half the glass.  Even that I felt a little went to my head because I haven't really drank much at all during this past year during treatment.  But I did enjoy an occasional Corona with lime, or glass of wine over the summerhttp://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNman000

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    weesa where do you live-not boone nc ?

  • katie-nc
    katie-nc Member Posts: 37
    edited December 2009

    It is tough.  I miss my wine.  But I have decided that I don't miss chemo.  It has been 5 years now, and I can count on one hand the amount of drinks I have had during these 5 years.  But I think that everything done in moderation is ok.  I just don't think I can do the moderation thing...it is all or nothing for me. 

  • Christine2000
    Christine2000 Member Posts: 176
    edited December 2009

    I don't know.... I have read the studies but I also have alot of family in France (my mother was french) and some of them are doctors. They still extol the virtues of moderate red wine drinking and the BC studies in France -- where pretty much everyone is a daily drinker-- don't bear out the same results we have here. I have cut WAY back but I do still have a glass of wine almost every night. 

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 707
    edited December 2009

    You know, I think you girls have hit the nail on the head--it bugs me to think if I drink four glasses of wine a week, I'm considered for breast cancer recurrences to be a "heavy drinker!"

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2009

    I remember when I was Dx, I was asked how much did I drink and my response was "before or after you told me I had bc?"!!!  Geeze...I did everything "right" and still got breast cancer......so I figure, I if I want a glass of wine or 2, I am going to have it.....love red wine.....heck, I think I may go pour a glass....mmm boy is that good!!!!!

    Bugs....I agree with you.....BC had robbed me of so much, I am not going to let it rob me of a few glasses of wine here and there.....or other foods I like.  Overall, I do what I am supposed to do....

    Weesa thanks for starting this thread.  DH loves a good chardoney, great scotch and great beer.  Me, I just like my merlot or cabernet....other beverage of choice is water or herbal tea.

    Off to the onc tomorrow.....maybe I should ask him about wine (or maybe I''ll just whine!!!!!).

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited December 2009

    Since our dx we've all made changes to help reduce our risk of recurrance and have given up so much that I'm going to say  - Lets lift our glasses and toast each other for the holidays.............  and not feel guilty. 

  • LJ13-2
    LJ13-2 Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2009

    I drank some in my late teens (it was legal for b+w then), a good bit in my 20s, less in my 30s. When I stopped playing softball in my mid-late 30s, I pretty much stopped drinking. By then I was only drinking after games, the pitchers of beer at the bar thing. Since then (15+ years), I've had a few sips of champagne or brandy, literally just a few sips.

    I just didn't enjoy the taste or feeling any more.

    Didn't help a bit to prevent bc, but that was never the point of not drinking.

    It doesn't bother me to be the sole non-drinker in a group. I just have my water.

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited December 2009

    i like to drink.. and do occasionally.  just read a study that said drinking more than 4 glasses a week raises your risk of occurrence by 30%... those numbers are tooooooo huge for me.  I'll cut down to 10 glasses (or beers) a year.

    http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_1_1x_Drinking_Alcohol_Increases_Breast_Cancer_Risk.asp

  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited December 2009

    Wine alittle; you'll feel better.

    well, i like my wine and i do drink. i quit drinking for 2 years when i was diagnosed.  then a friend of mine passed away from "unknown primary cancer"  (not breast cancer). she was a marathoner..ate all really great food...worked out...didn't drink..really took exceptionally good care of herself.  after she died...i thought..."heck with this; if it is my time..it will be my time whether i have a beer or glass of wine...." so i decided that while i was alive..i was going to enjoy some of the things i had always enjoyed. (in moderation)  i think it is important to pay attention to risk factors with breast cancer; however...there are risks just being alive.  all things in moderation is my motto now. i think it is different for everyone in what they are comfortable with.  i am comfortable with my glass of beer and goblet of wine. Cool

     so, i am going out to cycle.  i try to keep a balance. hah

    diana50

  • IllinoisNancy
    IllinoisNancy Member Posts: 722
    edited December 2009

    I still enjoy having social drinks with my family and friends.  My best friend is 17 years out from BC and she has drinks on weekends and special occasions.  I really don't plan on quitting anytime soon but I know it's a risk.

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Well, i have just re-read the conference report - they say 3 drinks a week gives the same recurrence risk as no drinks. So, that is certainly do-able for me. Man, I sound like an alcoholic!! LOL! 

  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited December 2009

    I never drank before then got prego and bc and well I can tell you that I am plan on taking it up as soon I can:)  But I will keep it to 2-3 drinks per week and for a non drinker then.

    Sometimes I look at people around me-overweight, out of shape, drink a lot, and well perfectly healthy and just wonder Why me? Why why me?

  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited December 2009

    I think about this a lot.  I love a nice cold glass of white wine.  Sometimes when I am drinking it I wonder if it will hurt me.  Then I think about friends of mine who never drank who died of cancer.  I never drank much before bc but I will confess that I drink more now.  Not to excess but I really do like a glass of wine.  I wonder if the stress reduction of having a glass of wine cancels out any ill effects.  I hope so!  And I will also confess that I definitely pour a glass when I am worried about a dr. appt.

    I know someone who was recently diagnosed with late stage ovarian cancer that is an avid runner, eats very little meat, eats tons of veggies and fruit.  I don't get it.  On some level I think it does not matter what you do.  The words, "crap shoot" come to mind.

  • havehope
    havehope Member Posts: 503
    edited December 2009

    I drink one glass of wine  - red organic and/or French (pinot noir, gamay, shiraz) daily.  It is part of my antioxidant diet. I had champagne for my DH b-day and I will have for new year. I don't believe for a second that this will give me cancer or I will die from it. Wine is from Gods ( doesn't matter which God, all of them drank wine :)

    Enjoy your life and do what makes you feel good. Life is too short to worry about what if. I believe that fun and joy and happiness is a big part of our recuperation and prevention. Just don't get drunk every night Smile! 

  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited December 2009

    Yep, why why why why why. It really makes no sense to me at all.

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited December 2009

    I'm really not a drinker at all, but do like to have a few drinks on vacation or during the holiday season.  I think moderation is the key to everything.  If we can watch what we eat, exercise and overall live a healthy life than having a drink, piece of candy or cake every now and then isn't going to hurt - we still need to live.........................

  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited December 2009

    I'm visiting my best friend right now who lives in a gorgeous little town in New Jersey about 1/2 an hour east of Philly. Her stepdad just gave me a case of my favorite beer, Yuengling, which is only sold in a few Northeastern states. You can bet your sweet bippy that I'm going to indulge! I'm going to be swimming in Yuengling this week! Ha! Seriously, though, I usually only have 1-2 drinks per week, and I plan on continuing to do so.

    Weesa, I can just picture you sitting in the window of your sons' pub, drinking Irish coffee! I would be reluctant to give that up, too.

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 707
    edited December 2009

    Celtic,  We have Yuengling on tap! Shoulda told you. Well, it will be there still next summer...

    I am developing a special Christmas eggnog just for you. Take three jiggers of liquid calcium supplement, 3 drops of rum flavoring, 1/2 teaspoon of brandy extract, shake in a cocktail shaker with plenty of ice. Pour into an eggnog glass, grind 3 femara in a food processor and sprinkle on top for garnish. Yum.

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 707
    edited December 2009

    Word of caution about above recipe if you are er, pr negative, a bit of turmeric can substitute nicely for the Femara, and still impart that nice golden touch to the frothy whiteness.

  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited December 2009

    OMG, Yuengling on tap! North Carolina really IS God's Country!

    Weesa, I'd like my BC Cocktail with a splash of docetaxol, please.

  • DCMom
    DCMom Member Posts: 624
    edited December 2009

    When I hear statistics like 4 glasses with a 30% increase I have to wonder how they narrowed that to the only difference.  If someone begins drinking again are they also 30% more likely to have stopped taking their tamoxifen, 30% more likely to not be exercising.  There are so many variables and yet I didn't have even a sip of wine until almost a year after my original diagnosis (and I had been having a glass a night for years prior to diagnosis).  I love a good glass of wine, but now I have a glass perhaps once a month or less.  It just isn't worth it to me.  I wish I could say I had the same kind of will power over sweets.

  • weesa
    weesa Member Posts: 707
    edited December 2009

     Celtic, we don't carry docetaxol; our beer and wine distributors can't get it in NC. However, we have a nice bottle of Adriamycin which we keep next to the bottle of Grenadine Syrup. Adds nice color. This holiday libation, BTW,has been guaranteed not to up your chances of recurrence, so glug up.

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited December 2009

    From what I understand, this latest study concerns a primary recurrance in the contralateral breast, not loco-regional recurrance nor mets.  For those of us who did a bilat, it seems the study doesn't apply.  Also, even if it does apply to you, take that 30% with a grain of salt - if your risk of recurrance is 10%, a 30% increase raises it to 13% - in overall numbers, not a great increase.  It doesn't mean that your risk of recurrance goes all the up to 30% - it just means that it increases your baseline risk.  There are so many other risk factors for recurrance that I think no one can avoid them all and live anything like a normal life.  So, I just try to balance them - I exercise religiously and am trying to watch my weight even while on Femara.  I figure if I keep down some of the risk factors, then I can indulge in the others - like a nightly glass of wine.  Just a thought. 

    Weesa - sorry, I think I'll skip your Red Devil libation . . . I've had enough of it! Tongue out

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2009

    Weesa.....love your coctails, but think I will pass.....I don't want any more AI's than I have to!!!

  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited December 2009

    Weesa, gag me!  I still can't drink anything red devil-ish colored.  Argh, icky.

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