Pls. Help Me Help My Sis-in-law

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joaniemacaroni
joaniemacaroni Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)

Hello all, and thanks in advance for any info you can share.  My dear sister-in-law told me last night that a recent biopsy revealed DCIS.  She's scheduled to see her dr. next week to get more info and to discuss treatment.  Based on previous conversations with her dr (and with a second dr. she visited for a second opinion), she believes the doc will recommend a mastectomy, which, of course, terrifies her.  I urged her to learn all she can about treatment options and to find a support group, but she's not a "computer person" and wants to courageously go through this on her own (with hubby's support).  I don't believe she knows yet what the type and grade of her cancer is.  She lives in the greater Wash. D.C. area, and has a strong family history of breast cancer.  Many, many thanks.

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  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited December 2009

     Joanie - Alot of people feel unconfortable with the idea of support groups. For me the idea of a formal support group is just icky, but you know what? my neighbor was diagnosed a month before me, which I found out in a conversation which started "so whats new with you?" We found alot of comfort in sharing what we were going through - then she found out about a local Breast Cancer Dragon Boat team, which we both joined and though there is not much in the way of talking about our personal breast cancer, I know these women will be supportive if/when I need to reach out to them. Another Dragon Boat team member lives near us and I knew another neighbor who had been diagnosed two years ago - we hadn't really talked about it, but when I was diagnosed I asked her alot of questions, my original friend's yoga instructor told her about someone else, and now there are five of us who have gotten together for dinner several times. Voila! Breast Friends! so your sister in law might stumble into informal supports like I did. But frankly, when I was at her point in her journey, I didn't share any info with anyone outside of my family. 

    Regarding what you can do for her? be there? educate yourself? share info as requested, listen. If she isn't computer savvy, is your brother (in-law)? There are several husbands who post on this site, sharing info, giving and receiving emotional support. I found the BCO homepage has alot of useful info under diagnosis/treatment etc click on the tabs along the top of the page. Also http://www.dcis.info/dcis.html and within the DCIS Board, look for postings by BEESIE who not only has a wealth of info on DCIS, but also has a gift for explaining medical and statistical concepts. http://www.dcis.info/dcis.htmlhttp://www.hopkinsbreastcenter.org/sitemap.shtml

    I guess the important thing is to remember it is her body and her decision.

    She is lucky to have a caring sister in law such as yourself. 

    Julie E

    . 

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  • joaniemacaroni
    joaniemacaroni Member Posts: 5
    edited December 2009

    Thank you, Julie, I truly appreciate your suggestions and information. I need to remember it is her body and not mine.  I'm worried her doctor will recommend a mastectomy when a more conservative treatment option might be possible.  Over the years I've acquired a truckload of skepticism toward doctors and the medical field in general and I guess I'd feel more comfortable if she could get another opinion from a doctor recommended by someone who has gone through this.  No, my brother is not computer-savvy, so they asked me to learn what I could and share it with them.  Again, thanks so much.

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  • JAT
    JAT Member Posts: 81
    edited December 2009

    Joanie:

       I live right outside D.C. and had my surgery and reconstruction at Georgetown.  They have one of the best plastic surgeons who specializes in breast reconstruction (scott Spear), if your sister-in-law goes that route. I saw Dr. Shawna Willey who is the head breast surgeon at the Ourisman Center at Georgetown. Before I made my decision about mastectomy or bilateral mastectomy (my DCIS was multifocal so I needed a mastectomy), she ordered an MRI and genetic testing because of my age (43). I am sure your sister-in'lw will be advised to do the same because of family history.  I also went for a second opinion from another breast surgeon and then went to Hopkins to talk to an oncologist there, just to review all of my slides and options for treatment. Hopkins is fantastic too, and their website is very helful-- the head nurse there had breast cancer and is a wealth of information.  If you or your sister-in-law want more information about the team I used, I'd be happy to help.  My doctor put me in touch with other breast cancer patients but none of them had DCIS-- they all had invasive cancer and that actually scared me a lot-- I found this board after my treatment-- wish I had discovered it sooner as it really does have so much information specific to DCIS that doctors don't always explain. Having your support is already one of the best things that will help her.-- Julie  

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  • joaniemacaroni
    joaniemacaroni Member Posts: 5
    edited December 2009

    Julie, thank you SO much.  It's fantastic to get referrals to doctors/hospitals local to them.  I've shared this info with them and will contact you if they'd like more.  Many, many thanks.  Joanie

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