How did you choose your avatar picture?

It's the photo I look least dorky in.  Also shows my dessert loving self.

I love this pic--blissful ignorance of bc and so happy with my dd, who was learning to swim at 5 mos. old--love her legs going straight up in the air! (Also my orig. breasts look good in this pic, and I liked them very much and miss them still.)

When dd was 18 mos. old and still nursing I developed (yet another) blocked milk duct. When it didn't go away (or turn into mastitis) after a couple of months, I told my ob/gyn. He said they don't do mammograms on lactating women (not true) and referred me to a surgeon who did an ultrasound. He said the u/s showed nothing, must be related to lactation, come back when I wean her.

Nine mos. later it was still there, and a lactation dr. referred me to a breast surgeon. I thought the surgeon would aspirate whatever was in there and I woud be on my way. Nope. Got mammo'ed, u/s'ed and core-needle-biopsied on the same day and came out with "99.9% sure it is cancer, but we'll wait for path. report."

Because I knew the lump had been in there for at least a year and was already huge (turned out to be a 10 cm tumor, but mostly DCIS), I was sure I was going to die. The week between that appt. and the path. report was one of the worst of my life. All I could think of was that I would not live to see my sweet daughter grow up. The irony is that if I hadn't been nursing, I never would have let a lump like that go without getting a definitive diagnosis.

I was very fortunate, and my dd is now almost five years old. This picture will always remind me of the days when my life with her felt more carefree and more certain.