Rug pulled out from under me!

ARRRGHH!!! I just typed out a really long post with my story and some suggestions, and my Internet crashed... I'm late for an appointment but will try to recreate it when I get back... the short version is, I can totally relate to what you're feeling now (my husband and I have been TTC for years and have had four miscarriages), but there is HOPE! Much more later! Hang in there!!

Hi again... sorry about the misfire earlier! What I was saying was... I'm close to your age. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for several years. We've had four miscarriages, the last one in 2008. This last one sent me into the most overwhelming depression and despair... I truly didn't know if I would survive.

This summer, I was finally starting to see light at the end of the tunnel and pulling myself out of my depression, and was even looking forward to trying a new fertility treatment.

Then the bomb hit. I was told by three different doctors that I had cancer and that it was most likely invasive.

I knew from friends having gone through invasive cancer that this meant chemo + radiation + Tamoxifen (five years' worth of induced menopause)... and therefore no hope of ever even trying again to have a baby.

Thankfully, my third doctor's biopsy showed that my cancer was NOT invasive, that it was DCIS... so ironically, I was thrilled beyond belief to be diagnosed with "only" DCIS. This meant no doctor was going to force me to do fertility-destroying chemo. Targeted radiation, I can handle since that doesn't affect fertility. It's just a 6-week detour on the road to Mommydom -- a far cry from having to wait 5-6 years -- and that I can handle.

As for Tamoxifen, of course that's a personal choice, but I strongly urge you DON'T DO IT!! My DCIS is fueled by estrogen (ER+) so I know my doctor will try to put me on it, and with your fertility history I suspect you will turn out to be ER+ too, but there are better, safer ways to bring your hormones back into balance without a drug that complete shuts off all estrogen (not to mention the side effects, increased risk of uterine cancer, etc.).

Have you checked out the alternative/complementary board here yet? There are some great threads about balancing hormones naturally. BTW, "conventional medicine" failed me for two full years while my husband and I were TTC. What worked for me was NOT a drug... it was using natural (diet/lifestyle) means to bring my hormones into balance. I know from that experience that natural means are so much better than throwing chemical drugs at the problem.

Interestingly, you'll find that most of the diet/lifestyle change recommendations for improving fertility are the VERY same recommendations for fighting cancer! Things like drinking 2-3 cups of green tea every day... sleeping every night in total darkness (not even a nightlight or clock radio light showing)... getting 15-30 minutes of sunshine exposure every day (when possible)... doing some kind of exercise every day... it's amazing how several small changes can make you more fertile, AND fight cancer, ANNNND help with depression, weight management, ADD, and who knows what else!

At this point, as terrified as I was when I was newly diagnosed, as you are, I actually see this diagnosis as a blessing. I was going down a self-destructive road (after the last miscarriage, I sort of gave up and started eating junk food, drinking way too much caffeine, etc.). This was a wake-up call to get back on track with the very lifestyle changes I HAD to make if I ever want to become a mother. So, for that, I am grateful.

This is a completely different post from the one I wrote initially, but I can't remember what all I had typed earlier, so I may add more as I think of things! In short, though, you are going to be OKAY!! I feel so certain both of us have Motherhood ahead of us! What an amazing story we will have to tell later... how we faced infertility and CANCER, and came through it with flying colors!! Please feel free to PM me if you have ANY questions at all... in the meantime, keep your chin up... DCIS is really the "best case scenario" kind of cancer for us future Moms.

Oh, I had mentioned a book that gave me a lot of encouragement. It's called You Can Get Pregnant Over 40, Naturally by Sandy Robertson. She and her husband started TTC when she was in her late 30's. She was only able to conceive with IVF, and it ended in miscarriage (6 miscarriages total). Then, she decided to cast off modern medicine and use natural means (diet/lifestyle) to conceive naturally. She did... and had her beautiful, healthy daughter at age 44! See why I think there's hope for us young'uns?

Hi, rrn ~ Of course you're confused.  A bc diagnosis usually comes out of the blue, and it also sounds like everything is happening extremely fast, especially if you are dealing with pure DCIS, which is a non-invasive bc.  Are you seeing a breast surgeon or a general surgeon?  One reason I'm asking is that I don't understand why he can't tell you your ER/PR status from the biopsy.  If he had a copy in front of him, it should give him that information, which is usually something a breast surgeon is anxious to confirm with you because it may influence your decision.  And the results from your MRI will be one more piece to the puzzle re. whether you choose a lumpectomy or a mastectomy.

If you haven't already, you might want to go to the Symptoms & Diagnosis section of this website (at very top bar) and read the Diagnosis of DCIS page.  At this point, and barring any factors we may not know yet, I would tend to agree with your husband.  A 1.5 cm area of DCIS is quite small and if there isn't any more of it, lumpectomy should be an excellent option.

Have you considered getting a second opinion?  Not all surgeons will give you the same advice, and the more people you talk to, the more it will help you shape your decision as to what is right for you.   

Here's hoping that the discovery of DCIS will be a hidden blessing and allow you to get your body back into balance so that you will have a much easier time getting pregnant very soon.   Deanna

Hi rrn,  Im so sorry this happened to you.  I was 40 at diagnosis and also struggled with infertility and miscarriages.  Dont worry too much about you path report they will know more when you get the lumpectomy.  Intermediate grade is the middle grade but again they get a better picture when they take the whole thing out.  Necrosis is what happens when the cells outgrow their blood supply (cell death)also shows up as calcifications on mammo.    I got a prescription for xanax when I was diagnosed -it helped me get through the panic stage and all the dr visits and such(I had a bit of a panic attack at oncologist office) .  I no longer need it now but it was a big help.  Good news, the wire guided lumpectomy is not as painful as the steriotactic biopsy. 

Good luck- PM me if you need any info.

Julie/Jelson, great article... thank you for sharing that!

I do have to say, the way the term "fertility preservation" is used (not just in that article, but in the medical industry generally) is a bit misleading... in my mind, "fertility preservation" means that one's fertility is not irreversibly destroyed when undergoing cancer treatment. The medical industry, though, uses the term "fertility preservation" to mean egg retrieval/freezing or IVF/embryo freezing, specifically... which is great, and certainly the best option for many cancer patients, but it would be reassuring if more care were given to truly preserving fertility (and there are many available, such as ovarian suppression and ovarian transposition, but they haven't been researched as well as the more standard and less reliable methods of cryopreservation). That's just a minor beef I have which doesn't apply to rrn or me... since it's really chemo and Tamoxifen that harm fertility, not surgery or radiation. 

rrn... the author of the book I mentioned above, Sandy Robertson, was also written off as having bad eggs... from what I've researched, I'm convinced that most fertility specialists don't understand that even women with "bad eggs" can have their biological clocks turned back, with certain nutritional/lifestyle changes... but, I know that's totally not where you're at right now, just wanted to throw that out there as food for thought for AFTER you get over this DCIS hurdle and are ready to think about having a baby!

As for Tamoxifen, remember that "success rate" statistics can and ARE manipulated. After researching it, I personally have chosen NOT to do Tamoxifen for many reasons, even if it decreased recurrence by 50% (which is the figure my surgeon gave me!). I know all these decisions are so hard, but if you make sure you research them well instead of just blindly believe everything your doctor tells you, you'll be sure to make the right decision for YOU. Good luck!!