Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake
Comments
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I called my SIL (who is married to my brother that had prostate cancer and had his prostate removed) after I had my endometrial biopsy and whined to her how they hurt me. I was saying the same thing about how unfair it is that women have all these painful tests but not the guys. She told me that when they did the biospy of my brother's prostate he was chalk white when he came out the room and told her he couldn't believe how painful it was. He did suffer alot after surgery too so I guess we have to give them credit in that department. Especially difficult for homophobic males who have to submit to a rectal exam! Oooh the horrors! The incontinence & impotence are very very common too from what I have heard. But then again - go have a baby then we will talk about pain!!!
Sorry we don't get to move to our new custom website for the depraved but we will manage somehow. Sometimes I type the swear words and erase them just to be a dink! Thanks for trying so hard Rachel!!!!
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Regarding the Moderator's decision: Ah well... I feel that they gave the issue serious thought, and I'm sure there are factors they have to consider as well. But in the end, it's their site, and while I'm known to pepper my phrasing at home with less than pristine language, I'll respect their decision. Also, Rachel, I think your counter was great and thought out as well, but I hope you don't take it to heart that you personally are being singled out. If anyone else had started this thread with the hopes of being able to freely use profanity in their postings, I think the end result would have remained the same.
Kari--You know, I remember when they had first successfully mapped out the genetics code, one documentary talked about the ramifications of such an event. One possible effect being that people could be excluded from healthcare or insurance because they were genetically predisposed. With progress comes consequences. It sort of defeats the purpose of preventative healthcare if you ask me. If you don't know, you can't claim being predisposed, but if you do know in hopes of being able to get better treatment, then it will work against you.
kmmd--I've found myself saying fcrikey in my head, too. It makes me laugh. But then I've always been one to make up nonsense words. But then I'll notice friends pick up on them and start using them, too!
Mary--The nerve of your kids! Food, indeed! You've only yourself to blame. I'll bet you've fed them before, and now they actually expect it! I'll bet they want clothes and crap like that as well. Sheesh!
Lisa-e--Don't worry about posting simply because you think you're not being politically correct or in step with everyone on the thread. Obviously this is a personal issue for everyone here, and very opinion is valid as ar as I'm concerned...especially here. Having had BC and being 44, the whole issue is moot for me since I will be prescribed mammograms for the rest of my life. But also, a mammogram didn't detect my cancer. I did. I was lucky in that I doscovered the lump at an early stage and wasn't having annual mammograms becasue I didn't think to. It's a tough issue becasue there are so many grey areas. Just look at the differences we all have had in our experiences and dx's and tx's.
I still don't know how I feel at the end of it all. Of course I would want whatever is going to spare as many others from the experience of having breast cancer and getting the best and earliest treatment if it happens, but I also belive that there is such a thing as overkill based on an irrational fear. But I do believe foremost that the option remains available, whatever you choose, regardless.
Catherine
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My opinion about opinions and personal views: Everybody is entitled to their own belief, opinion and etc, and should feel free to comment and say what is actually on their mind, to H-E double hockey sticks with it! Just because your views differ from mine, I will not be offended, unless you attack a person based on their appearance, like was done in another thread. To attack a person's appearance is just down right rude.
Kari, we do not always eat that well and of course the meal was easy. Pork chops with stuffing in the oven and then mixed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower on the stove top. Then I did cheat, my dh made mash potatoes and gravy the other night for dinner and I used the leftovers. When dh is out of town or not home for dinner we sometimes have breakfast for dinner.
My dh's friend, who is older than us(retirement age) went to a dr. for diet pills and the dr did blood work that found his prostate cancer, the same time I was dx w/bc.
Rachel could you please explain exactly what Zometa does. I have an appt at the end of this month and want to discuss staying on tamoxifen and trying zometa infusions and not swtiching to arimidex. I have barely any se's w/ tamoxifen.
Have a good night!!!!
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Rachel, I didn't feel like I had to stop posting per se - I just felt uncomfortable w/o stating my opinon. I agree about people on this thread not being into arguing, which is nice! I've been following some of the threads about the guidelines and trying not to get sucked into pointless arguments. Anyway what the guidelines said is that women between the ages of 40 and 50 should discuss screening with their doctors and decide when to begin screening, based on their risk and values.
I can't spell - (prostate vs postrate) - if you all haven't figured that out. :-) Anyway, I think I'd rather have a finger up my bum than a mammogram. At least I will never have to have one again. . . The rest of it it - the value of treatment for early, slow growing cancers and awful treatments - seem like a parallel to breast cancer to me. Let's see my cancers were stage one, grade one. I am not sure if they would have killed me or not, without treatment. Do all cases of DCIS need to be treated? That is an unkown, so you have to treat all cases: slow growing, non invasive bc along with more agressive tumors. Tamoxifen hasn't caused impotence, but it sure has done a number on my libido and my ability to have an orgasm. And I think breast surgery qualifies as an awful treatment, although I haven't become incontinent. I don't think we get a better deal than men, just a different one.
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P.S. thanks Mary and Catherine.
Re swearing, when my son was in grade school, his class used Sacramento! (with suitable emphasis, of course) as a swear word. It worked.
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It's me pclarky!
Something has happened, and I can't log in under my original name and password. Made a new name, etc. for myself, and I've sent an email to the Technical Difficulties Dept. Crikey, I was like a junkie without her fix!
I think I can safely say this thread means a lot to me.
Maybe they banned me for calling that other thread the Stepford Wives?
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Oh, yeah, I do not agree with new guidelines for mammograms. Only because so many Gyno's have different opinions about who is at risk. I have never had a bad pap or gyno exam, after my youngest dd was born Feb 05, I had a pap in Oct 05. The following year I had pain in my side and went to see Gyno, she would not do a pap b/c it was too soon, she said since I was older I could wait every 2-3 yrs. I explained to her that my mom died at 29 of ovarian cancer, she said I had nothing to worry about since her cancer was caused from a virus. Yeah right. My sister has been seen by different military dr(her dh was in the Air Force) they started her mammograms at 30 since she was considered high risk based on my mom. Same history, different opinions.
I am happy that in 2008 I decided to go for a pap, that Gyno sent me for a mammogram and you all know th rest of the story! Not only did I have BC, but I am BRCA2+ and guess what my sister is not! I did not feel any lump and the dr that did biopsy said I would not have felt a lump.
OOPs too long sorry!!!!
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hey all - don't post too much, but get email notification on all posts on this thread. My opinion on the moderators decision is that I agree. I can do a search on google and pull this whole thread up. I can pull up posts that I put up and have gone "oops" shouldn't have posted that. Unfortunately the internet is out there for all of cyber space to read.
regardless - love the term FCRICKEY - will save it for a rainy day (it is 44 degrees and raining outside) - fcrickey!!
Hugs to all,
Trish
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Well, crikey! I believe cancer is obscene. I believe cancer is profane, too. Gee-willikers, I'd like to say my really bad word here (friggin') and I think I still can ~~ but I do have sympathy for those who need to vent with more descriptive expletives.
Re: my above post. I'm just saying: If breast cancer were a man's disease, I believe things would be different. I think there would be better, less mutilating, more humane and more tolerable treatments. Conversely, if the procedures, surgeries, and treatments for breast cancer were totally created, engineered and carried out by women, I also believe things would be different.
lisa-e, you are entitled to your opinion! And I'm sure you also realized most of the women around here are not going to agree with the proposed new guidelines, for obvious reasons. However, I don't think we would have beat you up over it....
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:::sigh::::
I'm too tired to post the pics I meant to...
What's going on here today?
I think we could have done better for BetteLou.
I think we're done with the debate on the guidelines - for this thread anyway.
I think the time to ring in with what you think about cursing on this thread- especially objections is back when I asked you for those opinions, because I went to bat for everyone, based on what you told me. How is it helpful to chastise me now?
I think we've all had our say on both issues. Let's move on.
(oh but if I have to edit for censors and spies, I am going to say so and make jokes at their expense. Such is art and comedy, and it ain't against the Rules , is it?)
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wow this is weird, I swear I posted this before and I can't see it... it was part of another post I think?
anyway, sorry if this is a double post...
kookiesmom ROFL forum for the depraved
mary, all I know about zometa is:
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/reprint/360/7/679.pdf
n engl j med 360;7 nejm.org february 12, 2009 Conclusions
The addition of zoledronic acid to adjuvant endocrine therapy improves disease-free
survival in premenopausal patients with estrogen-responsive early breast cancer.
(ClinicalTrials.gov number, NCT00295646.)
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mary- oh and more about zometa- I got from reading the Zometa thread, to avoid the 2 days of flu like symptoms and bone pain that can sometimes happen, drink lots of water and get the infusion over a longer period of time, like 30-45 minutes. Now this could be a bit whacked b/c I don't know if the infusions are the same for Stage IV- what i was reading- and Stage I.
Also there is the rare osteonecrosis like in your jaw. My DDS said that should only be a problem for people whose dental situation is "unstable", usually the indigent. I am asking him to watch closely. He said he can work around any issues that may come up. Check with your DDS if you have one you like, if not, see mine, he is the BEST. He's i n Center City.
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mary- also maybe meg can dig up something on that study that said that Tamox was as effective as AIs when the low metabolizers were removed from the study group.
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PattyB, you are so funny!!! Thanks for the laugh. Hey Allie, we drove through Gualala, on the way back. we used to stay at the Gualala Hotel, which had a great bar. Just like an old time saloon, with rather rough characters, and you didn't have to drive, just be able to climb the stairs and find the right room. That was in the old days....
I'm pooped out,
Night night.
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Sorry ladies for all the bad BC news. My daughter's friend's father is in ICU with newly discovered leukemia. His girls call me mom and I'm nana to their children. Their beautiful mother is going through a mid-life crisis and whips in to make an appearance when she has time. Any way, I've been doing some research for them so they can better understand what is happening and hopefully find him some financial support. I'm stunned at how much support we have with our BC. There is so little out there for other forms of cancer. I would like to personally shake the hand of each of those women before us that made a difference. WE ARE WOMEN, HEAR US ROAR.
Amen Patty. I officially pass off the Scrotum Crusher to you. Catch.
Hmmm...Catharine...meditation, concentration, masturbation.....I can't focus on any of it without drifting off too my Day Planner. ADHD?????
Lisa-e Thanks for your honesty. I don't think Susan Love would throw away everything she has worked so hard for if there wasn't truth and fact behind it all. I believe that great things can come from controversy. Let's hope this one moves and shakes the sh!t out of a brilliant genius with a new method to save lives.
It looks like my daughters boyfriend won't be proposing this Thursday at the football game. This is the playoff for the Rose Bowl. The coaches don't want him distracted. They might be afraid she would say no. I thought it would be so cool being on national TV. Oh well. PLEASE TAKE HER OFF MY HANDS!!!!!
(The following story will self destruct sometime tomorrow. I don't want anyone finding this on Google.)********** We also learned today that his mother is Autistic. I wish you could all meet this amazing young man. Autistic mom and a father that was in and out of jail (mostly in) all his life. He moved in with his aunt during high school who was pretty hard on him and showed him very little affection. Even kicked him out for a year. She now wants him to buy her a house when he goes into the NFL.
He did have a great teacher that helped mold him into the man that he is today. He was never a trouble maker. She just helped to direct him. He did the rest himself.
We met him the day Mike's father passed away. His dad also played football, for Ohio State, and won the national championship (Rose Bowl) in 1955. If we win on Thursday you'll never guess who we'll play at the Rose Bowl? Yes, Ohio State.
When I was really sick I made a list of all the things that make me happy; going to the beach, walking by the river, tailgating, celebrating (anything) with family and friends. At the top of the list was watching Ed sign autographs for little kids. They get that OMG it's Santa look on their face.*************
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lisa-e I didn't know you'd felt that way either. I haven't posted one way or another because so many here at bco would tear my throat out. Best to just not say anything, but did think although some may say "you fcrickey idiot" and then keep talking to me and that this was a safe thread to give opinons on and not have people personally attacked or hold a grudge.
I do believe that when it comes to prostate cancer detection and treatment are much more in the dark ages compared to breast cancer. It was harder watching a family member go through and recuperate from that then it was going through what I went through. and you're talking to someone who ended up in the ICU on chemo
ReneS very heartwarming story about your sIL to be
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Renee- was a wonderful young man your daughter has found, and what a wonderful family this young man has found. When I was in therapy as a teen and young woman, due to a dysfunctional family, the psychiatrist explained that even the smallest act of kindness can inspire a child for life- even while their own family is unkind. Let him know we're all rooting for him, in life.
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Hi All,
re. Zometa, you may want to also use the Search box, as our site has tons of info as well that may be helpful.
re. cursing, and policies. I get your frustration and anger. However, when you all signed up, you agreed to the Rules of Conduct (they haven't changed for 8 years), and this was included. So, while I am all for revising Rules, the changes need to make sense for the site as an overall entity. We rely on our sponsors (corporate and individuals) to survive, and if turn them off with this, we may lose a lot of support, and we can't risk that.
I'm so sorry!
Melissa
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Renee - what a wonderful and uplifting story. Thank you sharing. I had the good fortune of going to the Rose Bowl in 2006 when USC played the Longhorns. Great game but USC lost in the end. I got to sit with (past and most admired) Coach John Robinson. I had a blast. It was amazing and is still one of my top favorite sporting moments!
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Dear Friends
Let's show our appreciation for BCO and the wonderful work they do in providing us this place of information and support. Chase is giving $5 MILLION dollars to a charity and all you have to do is vote for BCO.
Here is a link to the Chase Community Giving site on Facebook. Simply become a fan of Chase Community Giving and then 'allow' the voting applications and then VOTE FOR BCO!
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You just got my vote!
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I voted too!
Good news today - my endometrial biospy was "normal"!!! Not that I was really worried but it was sort of like a little black cloud followed me around for 3 weeks and sprinkled on me when I least expected it. Now I'm just waiting for the biopsy results of the nodes in my tummy and I will be free at last! Blue skies again!
Hope you are all having a happy day!!!
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Renee, wonderful story!! Thank you for sharing!
Lisa-e, hey girl, didn't see your post and had to go back to read!
So after crying over Rachel's post about the troops and the holidays, telling my DH about BetteLou's passing on my drive home, and then going home and listening to the President's speech, I just started bawling my head off! Then I stared at the moon and said a bunch of stuff out loud and just cried...felt better after that.
Hugs to all!
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Yay for Kookie!
Kari--Yeah I had a bit of an emotional afternoon yesterday as well. I'm glad you felt better after letting it all out. Sometimes we all need a good cathartic howling.
I'm off to a consult with a neurologist. Someone cancelled, so I snapped up this last minute appt. Nothing major, just a consult about my headaches... I'm supposed to have a CAT scan, but since my MRI was normal, I'm not too concerned. Hey, btw...what is the actual difference between an MRI and a CAT scan in what they show. D'uh...I guess that's what my consult is for, right?
Out the door...
Catherine
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Wow, lots to catch up on. Crazy busy in work, so I will give a thorough read later.
I just want to clear one thing up - eadsla, this thread was not started so we could use profanity. Most of us were regular/daily posters on the Bottle O' Tamox thread, which was always a very supportive, congenial and informative thread. And then a new addition, a typical rabble-rouser, started posting - slinging insults, posting false info re: the efficacy of tamox - really bizarre behavior, which became even more bizarre when she was confronted. On the heels of that, Rachel gratefully started this thread and that's how we came to be.
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Kookie, so happy for you
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j414--I'm sorry if you got the impression that I thought this thread was started so that we could all use profanity. I'm a bit perplexed as to why you would think that. Trust me, I've been on the BOT thread and saw what happened there. Plus Rachel was one of my best resources and sources of enjoyment on other threads prior to this one. When she invited me to join the gang here, the issue of language wasn't even considered, much less mentioned. I don't think my posts have given any indication that that was what I felt this forum was for.
So, yeah, a bit perplexed, but apologetic if I've been misunderstood.
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OK, have to interject here. Never understood that whole love means never having to say your'e sorry, but I really thought this thread was a no having to say your'e sorry give and let live thread.
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Kookie, didn't see your post, we were cross-dressing (posting)! LOL! YAY for you and am hoping for more good news on your nodes!
Posted on another thread, but what is with the sickies coming to work...coughing all over everyone, touching everything...then going home sick after the 2nd day of this crap!??? I had to disinfect the kitchen numerous times today and wipe down door handles! And we have a lady who is preggers in here! AARRGGHH!!
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I'm serious, can we agree on this thread to have thick skins and not worry about what we say even if we're not swearing?
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