Tested - BRACA1+ - Now Guilt & Anxiety

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Bonnygg
Bonnygg Member Posts: 115
Tested - BRACA1+ - Now Guilt & Anxiety

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  • Bonnygg
    Bonnygg Member Posts: 115
    edited December 2009

    iiiiiiiiiii'm baaaaaaaaaaaack =( Good grief.

    Got my test results yesterday - BRACA1+. I had my 31 year old daughter tested a year ago. She too is BRACA1+. Now guilt sets in. I gave it to her. She's married but no kids, yet. I want grandkids, but at this price? Knowing that she may pass this on to them? 

    This sucks. I want to help her & protect her and all I've done is screw it up.

    Right now, I'm so broken hearted. I'm at the bottom of the box looking up. I don't see daylight, just more agony and pain. Screw xmas.

    bonny

  • Issymom
    Issymom Member Posts: 264
    edited December 2009

    Try not to feel guilty.  I know that is what moms do.  I am BRCA1+.  Today, my parents, sister (married with 2 boys), and my husband met with a genetic counselor.  First, if you daughter does have children there is a 50% that the kids will NOT have the mutation.  Also, 30+ years (until the mutation would be an issue for them IF they are positive) is a tremendous amount of time for the scientists to work on better treatment of our type of cancer.  I have a 12 years daughter and 16 year old son and I would NEVER not want to have them just because of this mutation.  A few weeks ago when I just found out about my mutation (total surprise to me), someone told me "Knowledge is Power" and it is.  I know my dad feels bad but the counselor said this mutation has been in our family for a VERY long time.  He doesn't want me to go through this but he would never trade that for not having me.  My sister is 39 and will be tested after the first of the year (no need to find out before Christmas).  Now that she is done having kids the counselor suggested she have her ovaries removed (assuming BRAC1+).  He said that would reduce her increased risk of BC by 50%.  Still higher than the average person but gives her time to go on heightened surveillance and see what she thinks.

    Again, Knowledge is Power.  There is no way for me to convince my dad not to feel guilty but I don't blame him. 

    I never considered getting cancer as a possibility.  Car wreck, fall the stairs, etc... but not cancer.  I am a faithful person and know that there is something good that is going to come out this journey.  The amount of people who are reaching out to me with love and prayer is overwhelming.  Don't keep this to yourself.  Reach out to friends and/or family to help you through these darks times.  I am new to these boards and don't know your history but you are not alone.

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