Sisterhood of the Secret Handshake

Hi ladies, this afternoon I found out my girlfriend who I met 22 years ago when I moved to Sydney and moved into share accommodation with her and she was only just here at my party to celebrate my cancerversary has breast cancer.  She was diagnosed at 5.30pm today.  Can breast cancer be contagious, how can so many women be getting this bloody disease.  She is an incredibly strong woman but we all know the dark moments when you are alone - she is 51 abd lives on her own and has no children.  One part of me is so determined to be her rock and get her through this but I also know what is ahead, not the treatments but the head fuck.  Sorry moderators it is one of those times.  

Oh man. 

Sorry for the downer guys. I can't even be angry enough to say SFBC it is just sorrowful.

Hope everyone is having a good sleep and tomorrow is a great day.

big hugs

Helena

Rachel, you are doing such great work - what an inspiration you are to everyone!!  To organize all of this for our troops, who are so lonely for home, especially during this time of year, is so admirable!!!  You rock!!

Helena, that really does suck.  I swear, there is something going on - it just seems like every single damn day another woman is diagnosed.  Why?????  Best wishes for your friend to get through this.

Patty, that's really cute!

Came back from mom's relatively unscathed, except for bringing back more food than I brought up - and minus my favorite sautee pan (she'll bring it back at Christmas).  DH caught some sort of stomach flu on Saturday and spent the night puking well into Sunday.  I was very nervous about H1N1, so I called our primary care doc and asked his opinion.  If he didn't get better by Sunday afternoon/evening, we were to go to the ER.  Thankfully, he did start feeling better after taking my compazine prescription, pepto and gingerale.  Much better today.  Whew!!!  I point blank told him I'd kill him if he gave me H1N1, because of the immune system hits I've had - I wasn't sure if I was built up enough to keep it from really hurting me.  We were bathing in anti-bac gel!

Busy week with workshops for our dealers starting tonight.  Will have a fun day on Friday with my daughter and her friend, it will be our annual trip to the Gardens Mall in West Palm Beach - we go every year at Christmastime and it coincides with my follow up appt at the med onc.  I am doing better having finished round 2 of the antibiotics, but still having tenderness and pain in the nipple area and intermittent lymph node swelling and tenderness on both sides - I am going to ask about breast lymphadema, like Meg is experiencing.  I think that might be part of my problem and will see if I can get a script for some LE physcial therapy.

Otherwise, got the house decorated as much as I'll do - some years I go all out, and some years I scale back - this was more of scale back year for some reason, just wasn't into it too much - and found some GREAT cyberMonday deals yesterday - three outfits for children from Old Navy only $32!!!!!  Got a good deal of shopping done - I only have a few other things to get and then I am done - which is so not like me!

Yup!!  I was that scared.  Fortunately, that passed and he's still alive.  I've told him that before - like, "If you get into a car accident and die, I will kill you!"

eadsla: my hair before chemo was an ash blonde - a dark blonde -- I did have it highlighted to where it was more blonde than not....but now, what I have growing in is very dark.  Not quite black, but dark brown.  I am calling it Mink...it just sounds so much better than brown.  I am just thrilled that it's growing back!

Regarding chemobrain...maybe it is the stress on top of all the drugs but mine is definitely still with me.  And, as I return to the work environment, it is very stressful!  What if I can't retain things or I am not as sharp as I used to be??? 

I am with you Rachel...Moderators make the change! Fcrickeyuck just doesn't express what I need it to!

Helena:  it does seem that more and more women are aflicted with this SFBC.  It's disheartening, it's frightening, it just sucks!  I hope your friend is coping as best she can.  She is lucky to have you to lean on.  We all need to lean -- and need someone strong to support us! Bless you!

I just popped in as I was on lunch and wanted to see what was going on.  So much sad news! 

Catherine  - So sorry about finding out your radiation pal has passed away.  Its just not fair to go through all the treatment and still lose.  Its so sad and sombering whenever I see that someone on the boards has passed away.

Helena & Rachel - sorry about your friends too.  It is like an epidemic isn't it?  I wish someone would just figure out what the problem is and fix it! 

I still wonder sometimes about the theory that if someone does manage to figure out what causes breast cancer or how to cure it would they be bought out to keep it quiet.  It is BIG business when you think about it.  No I am not going think about it - no one could be that cruel. And what would they do with all those pink labels.

I made my 2nd opinion appt. with the oncologist my mother had.  I figured he would at least be familiar with the family history and hopefully will have my mom's file and my paperwork to compare.  Did I tell you I found out that I have exactly what she had?  Hers was grade 2 though I am a grade 1.  Otherwise same IDC, stage & same breast even!

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes for my friend.   Feeling better this morning (changed my signature line even) and ready to help her "fight like a girl".     

Catherine - I am so terribly sorry for the news on your rads friend.  There just isn't any sense to it.

Rachel - well done on the cookies - great photos.  And also I am sorry to hear of your friends wife and also her issues with gene testing and insurance.  I went through the wringer when I was first diagnosed as to whether it was a pre-existing condition and I hadn't done the BRCA test, I had however only been in the health fund for 6 months.  In Australia if you already have health insurance and have done the waiting period then they must cover you.  Luckily the board of my health fund wavered my waiting period.  Life insurance is another issue, when I signed the authorisation to have the BRCA test there was a clause which stated life insurance could be refused if results were positive.

Must go and clean up the cat vomit from the rug, no she didn't vomit on the wooden floor boards, had to vomit on the rug.  I swear cats have a really evil sense of humour!!!!!!!!!!

thank you again my lovely friends.  xx

Okay, on a lighter note...

I sensed one of my headaches starting up, so I thought I would experiment on the breathing and oxygenation of my blood.  Hmmm, perhaps I would try the..er..self-gratification route...?  It works for cramps, so...why not?

Okay, the problem with this method, I discovered, is that it takes less time than I thought, or would be necessary for full oxygenation.  It turns out that when it come to this area of solo endeavors, I've become the same way as when I have to run errands.  I know exactly where I have to go, what has to be done...and then I get out of there as soon as possible!  LOL  If memory serves (and chemo makes even THAT questionable!), the whole experience with another person usually takes much longer and would probably have more of an effect on my headaches...but that's not in the cards right now. 

So, today's little life food for thought?  Be careful at what you excel...it may turn on you when you need it!

I keep hearing Ricardo Montalban as Khan in my head:  "Laugh with me!!!!!"

Catherine

Helena--My cat, Cello, does the same thing.  My entire apartment is carpetd, but I have this area rug at the foot of my bed.  Both the rug and Cello are off white in color, so his "oral gifts" show up and stain with all the spendor that he could possibly muster.

They know...oh yes...they know...

Helena and Catherine, it sucks to hear about your friends.  When I was diagnosed I immediately called the only person I knew (at the time) who had been diagnosed  with SFBC and asked her for advice.   Less than a year later, I was sitting in my office, minding my own business, when a co-worker came in and told me she had just been diagnosed.  So I was able to give her the benefit of what I had learned and to support her, as my friend supported me.  

Patty, men do have to consider sexual disfunction with treatment for prostrate cancer.  I am sure that it taken into account when treatment recomendations for slow growing forms of prostrate cancer are made. But I do like the idea of men having to have the equivalent of a mammogram...truly...

Now I have a confession about why I haven't been posting on this thread.  I know most of you all are not in favor of the USPSTF's new guidelines for mammograms.  The problem is that I do think the guidelines are based on the science and I support them.  What has really bothered me is reading many of the threads about the guidelines is that people are going off the deep end, misrepresenting the guidelines.   I just don't think mammograms are effective screening tools  for younger women - we need to develop better tools - both for screening and prevention.   So I am "politically incorrect."  I felt dishonest ignoring the issue so just avoided posting.  

Hello Everyone. 

I must sincerely apologize, but following a staff meeting, we concluded that we need to stay true to our Community Rules, that being, no profanity. You may feel free to "bleep" letters, but due to corporate sponsorship, affiliations with major cancer treatment centers, and a diverse community, we feel that we need to remain with our policies. We understand that you find it a good way to release the anger, frustration, etc (and we really get that!), but simply can't have it on the boards. It is turning off too many folks who may accidentally land in this thread. 

I hope that you understand our reasoning.

With warm wishes, and many bleeps, Melissa 

Moderators - Thank you for discussing and trying for us!!  

Bleepity bleep bleep and many more to come...

Mary, I want to come and eat with you each day!! 

I've had the day from heck at work.  Found myself saying fcrickey.  No one else gets it and I felt so much better.

well said Rach