November Rads 2009

Lisa, Lauren,Sparrow:  I was a mess too.  It is terrible to lay there alone in that cold room.  It really helped me to have my hubby, or friend with me.  I insisted and they let me bring them every day.  They would all leave after the set up, but the zapping was only a few seconds once the set up was done.  I can't express how that calmed me down.  I don't want to take Xanax or anything else to numb my genuine reactions to this reality!  I take my I pod and try to focus on the music or the meditation tapes, but having somebody who loves me there makes those big machines seem less intimidating.  I finished on Wed.  33/33 DONE!  I had a serious meltdown with my Doc during that time, but now I NEVER have to go back!  Hold THAT thought.  You CAN do this!!!

hey ladies!  I hope everyone had a great holiday with their family...I know that we all certainly have a lot to be Thankful for this year but it also leaves the question of why does this happen in the back of ones head.

I really noticed this week how dark the skin in my armpit is!  I get some itches but they are from the inside and scratching doesn't help since the area is quite a bit numb from my mastectomy still...although I think that it's a good thing since I'm not feeling any pain from burning.

I had a consult for reconstruction this week.  He suggested DIEP, no implants - he says he can make me a D.  It apparently pays to still be fat after 6 kids! LOL

I have to admit that I'm terrified of the huge scars that will come with the new breasts

The tiredness really sucks.  I totally gave into it today.  I came home from rads and layed around all day.  I only have 2 more left.  I'm done on Tuesday.  

Hello all, thought it was about time I checked in again.

I'm doing rads to my hip joint, I have just 2 more to go. Still dealing with the fatigue, but the worst side effect is the diarrhea, which started after about my 5th treatment (I'm on a short, 14 course low dose, because I had had radiation around that area 2 years ago.) It's usually the worst in the morning, and it takes me 2-3 Imodium to get it stopped. But this morning, it woke me up at 4am. I've also been sticking to a bland diet since the radiation started.

I'll be seeing my radiation oncologist Tuesday, my last day; and also getting my lab work done for my regular oncologist, who I have been seeing once per month since I became stage IV. My appointment with him, and my Zometa, is December 8th.

Congrats to those who are finishing up.  I have 11 to go which means that after Tuesday's tx I'll be in single digits.  I'm ready to be done even though its' a little nerve racking.  I'm sore and exhausted and rashy. 

Lauren3, the only time I am real dizzy is right when I get up off the table. I have only had 5 tx so far. I do however feel nausea about an hour after tx lasting a few hours, does anyone else get this?

Niknak, I have weird tiredness too. I am most tired (like falling asleep sitting up) when I am at the clinic waiting for radiation, I am only 2 1/2 weeks out of TAC chemo. so it might be that, a combo of that and rads (I've only had 5 rads), or it's all in my head, haha!

I've been numb since my mastectomy but I do feel like my arm/side is getting tighter.  I have been trying to give my right side a good rub in the shower each AM and also keep stretching as much as I can.  I do feel like my ROM is similar to after my surgery.

I also am having a hard time side sleeping - pain in the rib area.

Hello ladies, I had #5 of 35 today, and I just crashed this afternoon... I slept for 5 hours.  I thought that wouldn't happen until later.  My skin is a little flaky, but I'm using the cream & aloe as directed.  This seems like such a long road, I'm eager as all of us are to get it done.  Oh, I have had some nausea too... my rad onc seems to think it has nothing to do with rads, but it seems like many of us have it.  Much love to you all!!  Jessica

Hi Niknak,

Funny you say insomnia. I had a really bad night last night and did not sleep well. I've just completed l5/33 and felt completely out of it yesterday. I was very low energy, cranky, and totally over rads. I thought I would be asleep before the sun set because I was that tired. At about 3am, still tossing and turning, I remembered the extra large cup of coffee I bought to get me to rads yesterday. I'm really hoping that was the cause of my insomnia.

Deb

Hi Blondie, I finished my chemo in Sept. and had the bilat & hyst on 10/7.   Rads is really kicking my booty, and it seems pretty early in treatment.  I have been a little dizzy and had some nausea too.  Only 30 more treatments to go... xoxo Jessica

Just checking in, mainly to remind myself I'm done with #9.    For now I still need the drugs, I can never tell how I'll feel day-to-day.  Yesterday they kept me waiting for an hour and toward the end I got the racing heartbeat/frantic breathing thing again (thought I was ready to give up the Klonopin, not so    )-  but no tears since treatment #3.    

It's a phobia I have of all things medical especially big, noisy machines.  It's like a fear of flying. No amount of logic seems to help.  I think I'm becoming gradually desensitized to the machine, though.  I forgot my earplugs today and my sleep mask was pulled away a little at the bottom. I opened my eyes half way through and saw part of that round-shaped ray-shooter, whatever it's called.  I didn't cry or faint which surprised me.  I may be able to try this soon without the mask!  

The worst part for me is waiting in the inner 'patients only'  waiting room.  There are SO many people there.  Mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and fathers.  Occasionally there's someone my own age.  It's so upsetting.  It's bad enough that I have to have rads. It's just that SO MANY people have to have rads and I'm sure some of them have a worse prognosis than mine.  I always end up crying when I have to wait in there.    I know it can't be good for the other patients to see me bawl. I arranged with my tech (she's an absolute angel!)  that I can wait in the outer waiting room...  or pace back and forth outside the entrance, and she will come and get me.

Ugh, sorry about that!  I just needed to vent!!!   

Buccaneersdj, Thanks for that!  My rad onc keeps telling me the arm/underarm stuff can't possibly be caused by radiation since my arm is outside the radiated field.  If that's true why do they make me turn my head away from the radiated area?  It's about as far from the rads area as my upper arm is.  

I am a B cup on a good day.    This is good for rads, I guess, but I've always dreamed of being a C cup!    DDDs seem like an impossible dream to me but ugh, I'm so sorry you're having problems!  

I found 99% aloe at Trader Joe's.  Whole Foods or a health food store might have 100% aloe but I haven't looked yet.  I was told to buy 100% aloe but I didn't feel like shopping around that day.  

I have a  lycra/cotton t-shirt from skinnier days...  I think I might try cutting the sleeves off and making it into a kind of cami.  It might do the trick.  I can't stand to have anything bouncing.  I'm too sore.  The soft cotton tube top/bra they sent me home in after my lumpectomies is really great for rads too.

Did you discuss this with your rad onc?  If you haven't -ask to see him/her tomorrow!  Remember, they are working for you and YOU are the boss!   I hate to think that you're in pain!!!    -Tamara 

Donna, Walmart carries 100% aloe called "Fruit of the Earth."  I've been using it faithfully twice a day.    Good luck to you, and eeveryone!.

Just finished # 21 out of 32 today.  I had a lumpectomy in each breast (two completely different cancers) so I get zapped on each side.  I've never been so tan!

Becky

KQuigley, sorry about the rotten time you had!    I hope things get better for you soon!

Is it really necessary for them to fry us alive like that?  I guess it is or they wouldn't do it.  These treatments seem so slash-and-burn primitive.  Isn't this the 21st century???  Gee whiz!  

Ugh, Lauren, I'm sorry you're miserable!    Good lord, a brain MRI???  Keep us posted and I hope it's nothing.  XOXO-  Tamara