BC Husbands and Boyfriends Hangout

Dear JRC: Thanks for your reply. I took the liberty to read some of your other posts around here, to get a better idea of your situation/background, etc.



First off, my heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. May the good Lord give all of you the strength to carry on, and may you continue to hear good news about your wife's condition!



I only recently joined this site (btw, I'm *not* BC Husband from NC; I should probably change my ID to something a little different, so as not to be confused--especially as he got here first)[Note: I just did, lol]. I'm glad to hear you've found it helpful and supportive.



Another site you might want to consider is:



http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Supporting_women_with_breast_cancer/



It's a yahoo group started by a woman with BC (eventually hoping her husband would take it over). It's got about 3-4 active members.



As for my situation, my wife Liz, had a lumpectomy/radiation 5-1/2 years ago, and then another lumpectomy/chemo (on the other side) beginning this past December. She is currently 2/3 of the way through radiation. The first time, there were no nodes involved; the second time there were.



We have had several "scares" (i.e., symptoms indicative of metastasis--i.e., chronic hip pain, chronic dizzyness and nausea post-chemo), but thankfully two PET scans revealed them to be arthritis and a benign blood vessel mass in her brain, respectively.



Incidentally, we have one (young) child at home; 3 others living outside the home.



It has been and continues to be an emotional roller coaster since this past December. In addition to the emotional side of things, physically we are both near-exhausted most of the time. Her b/c of the ongoing treatments, and me b/c of the additional household responsibilities in addition to working full-time.



Fortunately, Liz is starting to get out and about more. However, she has a tendency to overdo it when she starts to feel good, and then ends up in bed unable to move.



Another good resource if you haven't read it already is Marc Silver's "The breast cancer husband" (book). It's an excellent resource and includes chapters on treatments, the emotional side of things, talking to the kids, etc. It's been of great help to me.



God bless,

Greg

Shemp: "Welcome" to the club. Sounds like you're doing all the right things, so far. There's an excellent book entitled "The Breast Cancer Husband," by Marc Silver, that I HIGHLY recommend you get a hold of and read. It has chapters on virtually every aspect of this situation and you'll get a lot out of it. It's helped me tremendously.

Also, there's a yahoo group for for men whose SO's have BC that you also might wanna check out:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Supporting_women_with_breast_cancer/

Lastly, you mentioned you've been approaching things from a clinical point of view, which is well and good, but don't be surprised if one day you're driving and all of a sudden you start getting choked up, as the emotions you've been pushing down start welling their way back up. They're there, and need to be "taken care of" in some way, too.

Best,
Greg

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Well, I'm one of the newer members to the "club." My wife was diagmosed 8-4-2005. She's 29, and I'm 28. We certainly never imagined ourselves in this situation. She's had a lumpectomy, and begins chemo on 9/2. All I can say is that the whole experience is surreal. So far, I've held up well, which makes me wonder how much of the reality has set in. I've taken a one-day-at-a-time approach, and viewed everything from a very clinical standpoint. I take my job to be the one to do the research, filter out the unnecessary bad news and junk, and pass on the good information. ABove all though, I of course make my number one job that of chief supporter. In that, I make myself a source of strength to her, advisor, open ear, cheerleader and stabilizer.

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