Starting Chemo October 2009
Comments
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Michele !!! Love the analogy of the wig feeling like removing ski boots at the end of a ski DAY. So true and perfect. I am doing the dorag (sp?) glad the family is ok with it. Although I did order another RENE wig that looks like less hair she is called Codi. I hope it is okay for those times a wig just seems like the right thing to do.
I TOO am craving KFC, may have to indulge on lunch being I am feeling better. Nice crispy greasy chicken and a salty biscuit ~ :P
Oh and do I have to keep the sex life going? Oh boy, the feeling of obligation............ It is truly the last thing I want to do right now. I feel so hot, bald, boobless, bloated, facial skin peeling off, chemo breath.... I'm a real hottie !
I hope you girls have a good day and everyone feels pretty GOOD if not GREAT!
Alicia
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Hi Girls, things are a bit better for me this day (day 6 after tx). I do have more alertness for sure. Seems like tx takes more out of us each time we have it _yuk_ but we do get better.
word on the hair thing. Last week I was so devistated that it was thinning then buzzed....this week is different. I can't stand a hat when I sleep and I asked DH if he minded seeing me like that. His answer " it is still you-- it doesn't matter!!" Then last night I was sitting with my 22 year old DD and she looked over at my hatless head and said " you look cute with no hair!!!" Go figure - who would think our feelings could change so quickly. Neither of my family members see my hairless head as sad or depressing...it's just me. I know Maryny and Alicia those words may not seem possible. I know before my hair fell out nothing I read made me not worry or dread hair loss. Stay strong girls,,it seems to be just one more phase.
Juanelle when I read about your cousin it makes me think of one of the great reasons we celebrate Thanksgiving. We are lucky to have such people in our lives.
Have a good Monday girls, Jean
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I'm at the doctors office in the exam room right now. WBC's at 4.5 are lower than my usual of 7.2. Don't know if the doctor will give me the green light to get the first Taxol or defer to tomorrow.
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Hello Ladies.
Seeing that Thanksgiving is upon us it would do us all well to count our blessings. To remember all the things we are thankful for. Sometimes when I just focus on the fact that I have BC and am undergoing chemo I get depressed and overwhelmed. What helps me is when I think about all the wonderful things I am thankful for. So I want to list here all the things I am so thankful for:
- My family---they are so wonderful and supportive
- Shelter and a good job. My job is allowing me to work from home during the entire chemo and I live in a lovely house in a beautfil neighborhood
- Caught the BC before it spread to my nodes and in stage II. As much as I hate cancer I am so thankful that we caught relatively early
- Health insurance. I am so thankful to have good health insurance. All my costs are covered and I have not had to really come out of pocket except for copays.
- Salvation. This is toward the bottom of the list but for me the most important. I am so thankful that I am a born again christian and that the Lord Jesus Christ died for my sins. This gives me hope and especially during this challenge, hope is what we need.
- This Board and all of you ladies. I am so thankful for each and every one of you ladies. You insipire, encourage, motivate and help me as I am going through chemo and beyond. You make this journey doable and I thank you.
These items are just the tip of the iceberg for me. There are so many things I am thankful for. I am a blessed woman.
We will win this fight over BC. I am sure of it. Yes it is hard, but we are women on a mission.
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Hey Onty. I think you are still in the normal range so you will probably still get tx. Let us know.
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Yeah that's what the onc says.
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Juanelle, what a wonderful cousin you have! And I agree with practical gifts. Whenever anyone asks me what I want, I always ask for something practical. Last year, I wanted an electric blanket, and it was my favorite gift by far!
About hair - my head is finally no longer tender. I can pretty much rub my head in any direction without too much discomfort. It helps that there are areas without any stubble. Jean, my fiance is of the same opinion as your hubby, he doesn't see my bald head as something ugly (like I do most of the time). He will rub my head and says it's like rubbing Buddha's belly for luck. He's a little weird!
Onty, hope you're doing well today. Good luck with the treatment!
Alicia, I am with you on the sex life thing. I do NOT feel sexy, what with scars all over, no hair, hormones out of whack. We still have sex, but sometimes it is just like you said, the sense of obligation...I don't understand how he's still attracted to me, but he is. I guess that's something to be grateful for!
I'm gearing up for treatment on Wednesday. Going to pick up the chemo meds today - yippee! Hope everyone has a great day!
Peace to all...
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Hi Girls!
Popped over to say hello to October. I wish for each of you a Wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!
Scoobey Doo, like you I have so much to be "Thankful" for. This site is one of the one single most things I have been Thankful for!!! I've been rewarded with wonderful sisters and advice from them at any time day or night. When I underwent my "Axillary Dissection" I posted at 3;30am, I was freaking out and had no one to talk to. The nurses at the hospital weren't much help, but the ladies here in deed helped me almost immediately. The nurses asked what I was doing and I said these women are helping me rest thru the night. She looked puzzled and I left it at that.
I am so Thankful everyday for my husband who has shown an enormous amount of strength for me and taken care of me every step of the way. He's cooked, cleaned, shopped, cared for me!!! and even ~~~~~~~~wiped my b*%@ when he had to. What a blessing he is!!!! My love!!~~~
I'm Thankful each day for the minimal amount of side effect I have had! I already knew I was a "Whimp" and God seen to it that i didn't get more than I could stand. Thank You! Sweet Jesus!
I am Thankful just to know I CAN go see my children this Thanksgiving and share in the
"Celebration of Sharing Food" (normally I cook, this year I give Thanks everyone else is cooking)
Thanks everyone for sharing your views emotions and stories~~~~~~
To a Wonderous Thanksgiving (((((HUGS)))))
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Anita,
I'm in the chair getting the pre-meds. Benadryl, Tagamet and Decadron done. Aloxi going in now. Feeling sleepy from Benadryl. Then I will get Taxol, Avastin (or Placebo) and Zometa.
TXStarDust,
My husband also rubs my bald head. I don't feel that is sexy but he likes it so I let him do it. He is odd that way too.
All,
Funny to see the nurses calculating the amount of Avastin to dispense. Now that I will be getting Avastin once every 3 weeks (instead of 2) the dose is 1.5 times. Instead of doing just that, they are all going nuts converting my weight in pounds to kilos, then multiplying that by 15. Scary and funny at the same time. I will ask DH to double check when they bring the drug bag.
Love, -
Anita, Good luck with your afternoon cocktails...What ever you do don't infuse and drive..
Here in Canada we have already celebrated our Thanksgiving, in Oct. But I am thankful for a lot of little things this year, my amazing DH, my kids, my overall health, my own strength, my new sexy hot bald head (which my DH loves as well), my great friends, the generosity of others,...the list goes on.
Enjoy your turkey, but let others do most of the work.
Michele
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Alicia, LOL at the alien abduction fantasies! I do feel like a bit of a cyborg. DH told me I looked like Patrick Stewart. NOT the most seductive comment!
I wanted to ask for some Thanksgiving advice. DH and I don't have relatives nearby, but were invited to a small get-together with one of his friends. It would just be us, another couple and their 6-month old, and one adult visitor. Part of me wants to go because I really like hanging out with this couple, but the other part is worried about the 6-month old germs and having the energy to be "on" for so long in a group. Right now I think I'm leaning toward going but keeping my cancer card up my sleeve in case I need to leave early. Any thoughts?
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Meredith - I disagree, I think Patrick Steward is very sexy.
I would go to the get-together, bring something for early on like veggies and dip for before the meal or salad, beg off playing with the baby and enjoy until you are tired.Shelby - good work finding your wedding dress. I think you are right to concentrate on the wedding as it will be a beautiful moment in your life. I also wanted to tell you how great you look in your photo.
Juanelle - I think giving your cousin a table saw is a great idea. It's what I chose as my 15th anniversary gift from work and I love that I can just build something when the mood strikes me. It sounds like it is the perfect gift for her.
All -- well I spent my lunch hour reading through the last few days of posts. What a busy weekend! I was really glad I chose KFC for lunch otherwise I would have craved it over anything else. Glad to see that everyone is finding ways to deal with their issues.
I don't know that I will be back on before Thanksgiving craziness takes over the American group, but I wish everyone a happy holiday and will make sure to include my Chemo buddies in my list of thanks.
Suzi
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I say you should go. 6 month olds don't move around to much. Not like a two year old, who can be all over you. Chances are the little one will be sleeping most of the time...Around here there are a lot of french people and when they greet they do the kiss, kiss on both cheeks. I have had to tell people that I have to limit that kind of contact. Nobody seems to mind. Just try not to let anyone get in your face, keep your hands clean and don't touch your mouth/nose area. I find this has helped a LOT. If anyone is sick then pull out your cancer card.
Michele
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Meredith, I agree with the others - definitely go to the Thanksgiving get-together, but feel free to use the "cancer card" if you get too tired or are just ready to go home. There's nothing wrong with that!
Lunch - I'm already eating Thanksgiving leftovers, thanks to my family's early Thanksgiving on Saturday! I LOVE TURKEY! And we made the most delicious Sausage-Cornbread dressing. Mmmm-mmmm.
Peace....
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Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. I think it is wonderful how you can think about what you are thankful for in spite of the journey we are all taking. It does help to look on the postive side, with a little pity party now and then. It is wonderful to have a place to vent and express your thoughts.
We will be doing Thanksgiving at home with my daughter,husband and some friends. One of whom loves to cook and is doing all of the cooking. This year I get to act like a guest because DH and daughter will clean and serve. It is day# 5 since chemo #2. Side effects weren't too bad. I was too tired to work today, but after an acupuncture session feel better. I was up a lot last night from the sterioids. Hope those wear off soon. Not sure if I will work tomorrow, but I already have a substitue teacher lined up for tomorrow and lesson plans in so I might just give myself the gift of an extra day. I am psyched that we have the rest of the week off. Hope as the week progresses I feel the energy I did last time.
As for the sex thing I know how you all feel. Not really in the mood, but when I feel ok try and satisfy the husband a bit. He is hanging in there with all of this but has his moments of dealing. Some days he just has to treat me like I am fine and good and I have to remind him that I am doing the best that I can, but do need some extra nurturing. It will be good when my daughter gets home tomorrow.
We will miss our son who has to work over Thanksgiving, but will be home the day after Christmas for 10 days.He lives far away, so that has been difficult. I haven't seen him since I was diagonsed in late July.
Well I certainly did ramble.
Minimal SE's to all recieving treatment.
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Hi Everybody! so many interesting subjects!
My Vote for the Meredith social call is to go and leave when you want - I think it is good to normalize things when possible but if not don't beat yourself up over it, That is the veto (no guilt)..
Baldness My husband like it too! Is it just that sex has been out of the picture for so long.....? Just kidding, I have done the Laineo thing b/c I do appreciate and love him but don't feel sexual myself (well once for about 15 minutes but no one was around).
Enfusions Have #3 tomorrow if all is right with the universe.
Thankfulness My wonderful family and dogs, health insurance, stage 2, (no job right now but offers!), wonderful friends, this great board and the women I know on paper and thus see in my head, a house and food! Oh and a universe I trust in and thus can sleep at night.
Be well, Valerie
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Hi Girls ~
Yup I agree Meredith I think you can go, and you can certainly leave when you have had enough. Enjoy someone else waiting on you.
Valerie ~ good luck with #3 tomorrow. I hope all goes smoothly.
Lainieo ~ yes, I too feel sometimes like hubby is just business as usual. I hate being alone all day. But it is what it is. I get sad everyone else's life is "as usual" and mine is so far from it.
DH says he likes my bald head too... he says the nicest things. HE said he likes that he can see my beautiful face without me hiding behind my hair.
Even if he is lying I'll TAKE it !I am thankful for... (I am going to USE your great line Micheleboots) that it is me battling this Cancer and not one of my dear children, thankful for my dh, my doggies, my warm home, my amazing friends that have really shined since this started, you great ladies on these boards who help me in more ways then you know, god up above and yes HEALTH insurance....
(((((Hugs)))))) girls wishing everyone a good night and hopefully SLEEP !
Alicia
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Hi All!
I spent ALL DAY yesterday in pjs and a good part of the day resting in my comfy bed - no I did not do any laundry and it felt great!
The kids brought me popcorn and mandarin oranges for an afternoon snack in bed while I did Suduko. Later I had DS help me change the sheets and remake the beds.
Lounging the day away was just what I needed!
Today my backache is gone and my fatigue is gone.
I took the dogs for a walk through the conservation forest and enjoyed the cool morning drizzle. I even booked a weekend away (next next weekend) for my DD's Volleyball Provincial Tournament. It will be a nice break for just the two of us to get away - we have never done that. It is the weekend before my 4th treatment and I'm so happy that the timing worked out for me go with her.
Tomorrow I go for another mid-week PICC line dressing change and hopefully (if all looks well) I can go back to the weekly dressing changes. I'm spending so much money on hospital parking fees!
Tomorrow is also the last day for my Neupogen injections - I REALLY HATE having to inject myself!!! But I have to look on the positive side and remind myself that these are building my WBC up and keeping me healthy.
Mary I think we can buy the lactulose OTC here in Canada (or something similiar). I remember buying it for my son one time when he had trouble. I'm going to write that in my little chemo notebook though for next time. Today a VENTE Vanilla Latte and a long walk in the forest helped me to "pass the mass" so I am feeling much better now. Luckily it was a slow moving process and I did not have to s***t in the woods!
Michele I like your ski boot analogy for removing the wig. After school today I took my DD to Winners to buy a new dress for the upcoming semi-formal. We found 4 dresses and I insisted that she try them all on. It was so hot in the store I had to pop into one of the dressing rooms myself and take my wig off for just a few minutes to cool off. Boy I tell you - those change rooms (and bathroom cubicles) sure do come in handy for the wig-wearing hot-flashing chemo chick! After a few minutes I was able to come out wearing my wig again and carry on with the dress shopping. Yes we found 2 dresses for a total of $60!
Well that's it for me - I have to go do my laundry now.
Have a good night everyone!
Marie
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Hi All!
I spent ALL DAY yesterday in pjs and a good part of the day resting in my comfy bed - no I did not do any laundry and it felt great!
The kids brought me popcorn and mandarin oranges for an afternoon snack in bed while I did Suduko. Later I had DS help me change the sheets and remake the beds.
Lounging the day away was just what I needed!
Today my backache is gone and my fatigue is gone.
I took the dogs for a walk through the conservation forest and enjoyed the cool morning drizzle. I even booked a weekend away (next next weekend) for my DD's Volleyball Provincial Tournament. It will be a nice break for just the two of us to get away - we have never done that. It is the weekend before my 4th treatment and I'm so happy that the timing worked out for me go with her.
Tomorrow I go for another mid-week PICC line dressing change and hopefully (if all looks well) I can go back to the weekly dressing changes. I'm spending so much money on hospital parking fees!
Tomorrow is also the last day for my Neupogen injections - I REALLY HATE having to inject myself!!! But I have to look on the positive side and remind myself that these are building my WBC up and keeping me healthy.
Mary I think we can buy the lactulose OTC here in Canada (or something similiar). I remember buying it for my son one time when he had trouble. I'm going to write that in my little chemo notebook though for next time. Today a VENTE Vanilla Latte and a long walk in the forest helped me to "pass the mass" so I am feeling much better now. Luckily it was a slow moving process and I did not have to s***t in the woods!
Michele I like your ski boot analogy for removing the wig. After school today I took my DD to Winners to buy a new dress for the upcoming semi-formal. We found 4 dresses and I insisted that she try them all on. It was so hot in the store I had to pop into one of the dressing rooms myself and take my wig off for just a few minutes to cool off. Boy I tell you - those change rooms (and bathroom cubicles) sure do come in handy for the wig-wearing hot-flashing chemo chick! After a few minutes I was able to come out wearing my wig again and carry on with the dress shopping. Yes we found 2 dresses for a total of $60!
Well that's it for me - I have to go do my laundry now.
Have a good night everyone!
Marie
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meredith, go the lunch and have a good time.
alicia, you are a hoot. We all have to keep the home fires burning, almost at any age. It is not always easy, but everything is not all about me. I just have to remember that.
I am thankful for,all you wonderful woman, I am so blessed to know each one of you. My wonderful family who have been there for me through all of this and will continue to be there for be till we reach the goal. My children and their families, my work buddies. I am thankful for my good job, good boss and my really good health insurance, who hasn't turned down anything that my doctors have requested. My home and everything I have. I am thankful for my life and the opportunity to enjoy another year.
Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.
Juannelle
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Marie, I love winners..For you american ladies it is the same as TJ max..
glad you didn't have to pass teh mass as well, but you should take some TP next time...you never know.
Michele
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marie, I am glad you got it passed and didn't have to do it in the woods. What a sight that would have been. But when nature calls, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I am glad you are getting a weekend away with you DD. It will be an experience you will always remember.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that I had my last Neupogen shot today. I have a gum infection, so my WBC might not be up yet. Man, you have to watch every little thing at this time between tx. I should be supercharged, since I had the Neulasta and 3 Neupogen shots. My insurance has got to be loving me right now.
Juannelle
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Juannelle - what are you taking for your gum infection? I'm just wondering if the drs are prescribing anti-biotics when this kind of thing pops up or are we left to fight it on our own?
I don't know about the rest of you but I worry about my liver and kidneys with all the chemo drugs we will be getting and all the extra drugs we'll be taking over the course of our treatment. When my back was aching this weekend it was in the lower back/kidney area and that got me thinking about this.
On a happy note - We finally booked a family vacation for February (cancelled two trips already due to my surgery and treatments). I will be finished my chemo on Jan 19 and by Feb 12th I should be in my "good" week of the cycle. We're heading to Palm Springs. Not sure how that will work with Radiation but I'm hoping that won't start until after we get back. I need some fun in the sun!
My husband suggested I ask the onc to give me some antibiotics to take during that time to help me fight off anything that I might pick up during that time (plane/airport germs, public places, resort germs etc). Anyone ever hear of preventative antibiotics?
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Hi all:
I had Tx #3 today and that went off without incident. Had the nurse infuse the Cytoxan slowly (45 mins instead of 20 mins) and had only slight sinus symptoms. Had a full dinner when I got home as this is one of the days when I can eat. Tomorrow will probably be a different story. Fell into a deep sleep on the sofa after dinner. Not sure why as I usually don't fell tired the first three days because of the steroids.
Looking for some advice. My aunt died and the funeral is on Friday. She lived near Philadelphia. It's about a 2.5 hour journey each way from here. My brother is going so I wouldn't have to drive. But is it a good idea to go, there will be a lot of handshaking and hugging and of course the long drive. We could stay overnight but it would mean traveling on Thanksgiving evening when the traffic on the NJ turnpike will likely be pretty bad. Post-treatment Day 4 and Day 5 are usually the worst for me -- depression and queasiness being my main SEs on those days. I think once I got there, I would enjoy it (ok, I'm Irish and we do really like funerals) except for the food part.
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marie, I went to the dentist and he gave me the prescription, I then went to get my Neupogen shot, so I ask about the antibiotic that the dentist just prescribed and they said it should be OK. It is Tetracycline. I have heard of doctors prescribing preventative antibiotics, but I don't think it would be a routine thing. But we are special.
I hope the holiday works out for you. I know my DH and I will try to get away for a couple of days when my treatments are over. We will need it. That is if we have any money left after this expensive stuff. lol
Juannelle
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Hey Mary- If I were in your shoes and I had someone to bring me back early or to a hotel if I felt awful- I would go. Bring lots of sanitizer and don't touch your face before u use it w/ alot of contact has been had. Also, blood counts shouldn't be too low then. And you will sleep the whole back in the car! (bring the nausea medicine/and some benedryl) Take it easy whatever you decide,
Thanks Alicia for your encouragement, I am a little nervous 2nite
Valerie -
Chemo #5 done with a lot of drama. My body had a horrible reaction to Taxol. I had trouble breathing and extreme heat in my head in 5 minutes of starting Taxol. They stopped and stabilized me. The experience reminded me and hubby how fragile human life is. 1 poof and we are dead. Then they switched me to Abraxane. The plan is to give me Abraxane once every 2 weeks for 4 times.
Then I found out that they kicked me off the ECOG 5103 trial. Unfrikking believable. The clinical trials nurse informed us that ECOG 5103 does not allow continuation of Avastin/Placebo once the patient is switched to Abraxane. That does not make sense to me given that Abaraxane is just albumin bound paclitaxel. Waiting to hear the full story from the oncologist.
Also got Zometa.
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Onty: Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. Did immediately taking you off Taxol resolve the issue or did they have to give you something for the allergic reaction? That must have been so frightening for you. Too bad that you were removed from the trial, that must be so disappointing for you. This does mean you will be finished your treatment four weeks earlier, right?
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Dear Mary,
Yes, finishing earlier is the positive side. No they did not have to give me anything although they had stuff ready in case. It was comforting to see all that readiness in chemo nurses.
PS: You are so Type A :-) The other strong type A I know is my husband!
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Onty, sorry to hear things didn't go as planned...
Mary, don't know what to say...like Val said, be sure to use good sanitizing habits. Either way, I am sorry for your loss. It is hard when a loved one passes, especially if you can't be there. When my mother in law passed away I couldn't go and I regret not finding a way.
Marie, a trip sounds like a great way to celebrate the end of this journey..
night night to all, and good sleeps
Michele
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