Slowly losing my mind

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I have had 9/30 treatments,  I am starting to get pink. I can deal with that.  I am also experiencing shoulder pain. (go to PT for that) Then of course the fatigue is starting. (I'm on disability so I don't have to work) but the worst is that I am crying alot again.  I started this journey with 8 cycles of chemo, followed by a modified radical mastectomy of the right breast and now radiation.  I thought this part was not going to effect me emotionally but it is just as bad as when I was on chemo.  Has anyone else felt so emotionally drained from radiation.  I don't know is it the radiation, is it the coping with my new body image, is it just fatigue.  I feel like I am loosing my mind!

Comments

  • janey47
    janey47 Member Posts: 72
    edited November 2009

    Oh, Alice, I know, I too had a lot of judgment on my emotions when I would melt down right when I thought I should be getting over it.  Don't worry about figuring out where they're coming from.  They're here, and that's sufficient.  If you didn't feel emotionally drained from pain and fatigue, *that* would be something to worry about.  Take care of yourself.  Please be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a small child who was scared and feeling alone.  I can't be there to hug you, so wrap your arms around yourself gently and know that I'm sending you love. 

  • liztaylor1
    liztaylor1 Member Posts: 95
    edited November 2009

    Dear Alice,

    We are here for you.  You are NOT losing your mind.  You've been on a tough journey.  Janey is "spot on" with her advice to you.  Maybe it's all just caught with you?

    ((Alice)) soft, gentle hugs for you.

    Liz

  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited November 2009

    Alice, you are most definitely not alone in feeling that way!  I'm having a terrible time with rads.  It's not physical but emotional.  I really feel like I'm losing my mind too and at this point I'm not sure I can even continue with treatment.

    Hope it gets better for both of us soon!!  XOXO -Tamara 

  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited November 2009

    Join the club..we are all losing are minds...!  But at least we have an excuse.

    As far as the rads go..it is freaky the first few times..with the measureing and the big machines and the green lights floating all around..but pretty soon you will get used to it..I laid there crying the first rad...after that...it got much easier..I actually cried when I was done..one part because I was DONE..the other part because the techs. were sooo sweet...I miss them...but I still don't want to see them again!

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