Motivation

Jess, hard to start back in after a break, but sometimes our bodies need a little rest.

Brendatrue, sorry to hear about your Mom, hope things turn out ok

Beautiful weather here yesterday enjoyed a long walk with DH.  Not sure what I'm in the mood for today, but do need to get a little liting in.  

My friends 19 year old son has been missing since the early hours of Thursday morning. He's my daughters friend - they've known each other since they were 2, they went all through school together and now they are in the same university.  He never arrived back to his accommodation after a night out with friends on Wednesday. He was picked up on CCTV outside a Mc Donald's in the city at 1.45am and nothing since, and no answer from his cell phone.  He's a steady, award winning student and it would not be in his nature to just go walkabout.  My DD is extremely upset, she, my DS and my DH joined about 500 others to search the city on Friday and Saturday but then the land search was called off and today they only concentrated on the river - it's not looking good. The thinking is that he must have fallen into the river. We are just devastated - I cannot believe this is happening. I feel so ineffective - I'm numb and I was so scared bringing my DD back to uni tonight because I just know she and this lovely, lovely lads heartbroken friends are going to keep looking - they need to find him no matter what the outcome is.  This lads mum is a good friend and it is horrendous to think of what she and her husband are going through - he was their youngest.  Is there any good left in this world.

Ainm, I am sending my prayers that this young man is found safe and sound.

Penny 

So sad to hear this news ainm. 

Anim, that is horrible. What a nightmare. Let us know if there is any news. 

It was in th e70's and sunny and warm here over the wkend. Did gardening, walked both days,and did yoga.  

Ainm, prayers heading your way from here too sweet sister.  Keep us posted.  Big hugs.

Happy to report that I walked just over 19 miles last week (5 days), which is a huge improvement over the previous few weeks since my surgery.  And I did 4.8 miles this a.m., so a good start for this week.  Unfortunately, my mind isn't nearly as "healthy."  Don't know what is going on, but I feel like I'm in such a rut, and even all that fresh air isn't helping to reinvigorate me.  I suspect it's just one more hurdle to overcome in this journey we're all on and trying to figure out.  It's like now that bc is hopefully behind me, why don't I have any enthusiasm for anything?  I think I need a fresh, new challenge, but I'll be darned if I know what!   Anyone else?

Ainm, continuing to pray for your friend's son...   

Where is everyone else?????    Deanna

Since I didn't get to visit DS I washed my car, took a 2 mile walk on the beach with Dd, made bread, took Dd on her normal 2 walks and she is now belly up sleeping. Beautiful day at the beach. I have two more days to relax!

Ainm, cyber prayers still coming. We have a lost fisherman they are looking for here. Can't imagine what the families are going through.

Great week Deanna.  I seem to be light headed this week. Don't know what is up. Haven't felt this way since Chemo. See my onc on Friday. Hugs to all and keep up the good work.

Ainm: thinking of your friend and family.  I'm sure they're still hoping for better news, but if not I hope they at least can find closure.  Childhood friend of mine went missing 19 yrs ago and was never found, how hard it has been for her family to keep going without that closure just breaks my heart.

I think for me the down part I can figure out.  Surely getting ill didn't help at all.  This summer was warm, and full of the excitment of finally starting to feel better finishing chemo. Every month I could feel a little bit stronger and at least I could enjoy getting walks in with the sun shine, realizing a few months ago it had been cold and I didn't have the strength to walk to the end of the block.   Now, its colder, greyer, and I've plateaued at what I can do and its frustrating because I'm still so far away from where I was a year ago.  Plus, doing more at work and the tamox SE's, lack of sleep, etc all add up to being tired all of the time.  I want my old body back and may never get it back completely.  Heck, know why I'm down.

Hate to admit, but I am with you guys on all this. For me though I think this week my impending doom is two fold. First mammo since d-day this Thursday and I have to do it alone as DH bless his heart is flat on his back with back trouble again. Unfortunately I can't find the energy to help him (not really much I can do anyway) and I know I am really bi%$y lately. Also exercised all three days this weekend, gained 2 lbs. Just shoot me now!

Anim, still praying for your friends boy.

Big hugs to all going through back aches, lymphedema and all else. I think we all need big hugs, big sun and an even larger glass of wine. 

Ainm:  Your friend and family are i my heart and prayers.

It is sunny and crisp here---high 40s. I hope everyone can get out for a brief walk and enjoy the day.

Ainm: I'm with Deanna, feel so guilty complaining compared to what your friend's family is going through. 

Spring, that, B6, L-carnitine, boy do I feel like a pill popper

Meg, I agree we just have to gently get ourselves through it

So, I did come home and make myself keep on moving because I'd started so early at work I knew it would be hard.  Got a "run" in, and a little weight lifting, so--cyber hugs and a gentle nudge to who else needs it today 

Hi, all--Ainm, I am sad to hear about your friend's son and I hope that his body will be found so that his family can find some peace in that. Of course, I still hold hope that he may be found alive, but I realize that is not what is expected. Don't worry about taking over this thread; I hope that we can be supportive of each other in whatever ways are needed.

I don't really hear the honest outpourings as complaining. I think it is helpful to have others, who understand us in ways many can't, listen and offer ideas and share sorrow as well as share joy and motivation. (Isn't there a Swedish saying about joy shared is made double and sorrow shared is cut in half?) I also think it is helpful for us to be real and genuine, and to not worry about how we present ourselves to others as we are being real and genuine.

The earlier conversation about gloomy, gray days and gloomy, gray moods made me think about something I learned a few years ago. The basic idea is that we often follow the seasons--the cycle of nature--in our own lives, including our moods, perspectives, etc., so we may find that we respond to fall/winter with a "going inward" or "urge to hibernate" so that we can take the time to reflect, rest, re-tune our workings, gather our resources, etc. The hope is that greater insight and understanding will help us to find spring again and experience growth in new directions, new energy, etc. This "theory" also suggests that sometimes we don't exactly follow nature's seasons, that sometimes we move through our own natural cycles. So, lately, when I have felt gloomy, I have tried to remind myself of this cycle, try to learn from the experience, and hold hope that I will have brighter moods and days again.

And for those of us who are trying to keep the movement going, I was able to return home Sunday night after a long weekend with my mother and rake for about an hour--with a vengeance, which certainly helped my mood but made my back ache a little yesterday. So yesterday I did 45 minutes of stretching to compensate. Today I made myself get out of bed at 5:45 am (ugh) and workout for 35 minutes. kmmd, Deanna, kudos to you both for keeping up that motivation, and for those of you who need an extra dose, I am joining kmmd in sending along a little nudge.

Hi all--back from a two-day, one-night stay in Vegas (my DH had to go for work). That place is too funny. had some great food, a little bit of gambling and are happy to be home.

I think some of the gloominess is the weather and the seasonal change--I really do. I know my mood is so much better when it's a clear sunny day. Can't believe Thanksgiving is coming next week!! Have my in-laws coming so need to start getting it all together.

Ainm--sending you my good thoughts too--so sorry to hear about the awful situation.

Kari--hope your back is better and glad you can laugh about the "misfire" with the pumpkin bread.

Deanna--great job with exercise!! I have to get going again but was doing much better last week so am encouraged.

Maybe if we combat the gloom with finding one thing each day to be thankful or appreciative for...even if the day overall has been a stinker... 

Brenda, I second what Meg said about your wisdom.  Thanks for sharing.  It also makes me wonder if that's one reason I've never been a huge fan of where I live -- the desert.  Our seasonal changes are so minimal compared to other places, and using your analogy, also kind of mixed up. Winter is the lively, "in" time here, and summer is when it's so hot that most living things would die outdoors, so everyone leaves or hibernates.  Hmmm... you may have given me some insight into a discontent I've felt for years living here.

On a totally trivial note, I got my first hair cut since chemo yesterday.  I'd actually waited a year, if you can believe it, because my hair was so kinky curly, especially in back.  But after some great styling and expert blow drying, it's actually quite straight today!   YaY!!!  I feel much better about that one little area of my life, and hopefully can ditch the wig now, or as my amusing DH recently called it, "the mean wig," because he said wearing it made me act meaner than usual, as in hot, constricted, and not happy to still need it. 

Well, I'd better get out there and walk instead of poking around on the computer as I have been all morning.

Later, gals ~  Deanna