When is this over ?

Hi Marie,  You have asked a question everyone answers differently, I think.  Since nobody knows if they will have a recurrence, I guess we can choose our own answer.  Some of the answers I have heard are...

"I'm cured unless proven otherwise."

"I was treated for breast cancer."

"I am a breast cancer survivor of....?.... years."

"I have or had breast cancer."

Personally, I feel like "I have breast cancer." fits me.  In my head that's what I think.  I don't necessarily mean I know I'll relapse, but I don't think cured fits either.  Being post-treatment is what's important, I guess.

About Tamoxifen, I can't help because I'm on Femara.  I had chemo and no rads.   Hope you do well and that Tamoxifen SE's aren't a problem.

Hi, Marie!

I always say, "I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year." The only thing I am sure of is that discrete event: cancer was found. It was removed via lumpectomy, leftover bits were zapped with radiation, and now I'm taking Tamoxifen in the hopes that if more of it is thinking of growing, we can stop that. It's probably gone, but it's all such a crap shoot. It is true that the only way to know you're cured is if you die of something else. Not a cheery thought, but there it is... I don't necessarily say it's gone and yet I don't say I "have" it. Sometimes I get sad about it, and sometimes I manage to realize that there are things that are worse. I had a friend who got a rare and terrible appendix-based cancer who passed away. She was about a year older than me and left behind four teenagers. My alleged prognosis is that it may return in 10 or 15 years, and hopefully at that point will be managed as a chronic condition. That's better than the 18 months my friend had after her diagnosis - most of the time she couldn't even eat properly because appendix cancer isn't found until it's spread through the abdomen and affects your other organs.

Tamoxifen isn't so bad. I started taking it Dec. 1st of last year ('08). I did not have chemo, so all of my side effects can be attributed to the Tamoxifen. I had a few side effects pop up over the first couple of months, and most of them have evened out or gone away with time. I still have waves of hot flashes, especially if it's warm and humid and/or I eat a huge meal - I swear that estrogen was helping me disgest anything and everything and now things are slooooower. My eyesight seems a little worse, but then again, I'm at that age range where that was due to happen anyway. My knees are a little achey, but then again, I had old cheerleading injuries that are likely kicking in...

Give the Tamoxifen a try and give your body some time to deal with it...hopefully it won't be too bad for you.

Coleen

Marie----You definitely have earned the title of bc survivor after all you've been thru.  Doctors tend to shy away from using the word "cured" in relation to breast cancer, but with stage 1 ILC, clear margins and negative nodes, your prognosis sounds very very good. Of course, no one can predict what the future holds for any of us, but try to view the chemo and the tamox as kinda like added insurance against future problems.  I took tamox for 5 years and tolerated it quite well with minor SEs (mainly hot flashes)--I am high risk from LCIS and family history---my mom took tamox several years ago for ILC and I'm very happy to report she is a survivor of 23 years without a recurrence and doing well at 80 years old! I consider both of us bc survivors and wear that proudly.

Anne

Don't care what I say I had/have or survived......as long as I AM HERE to say it!!

Frankly I don't intend to include breast cancer in any description I give of myself now that treatment is over (did chemo and radiation, refusing Tamoxifen). I classify myself as Rachel, likes dark chocolate, raspberries, books by Alexander McCall Smith and the music of Vaughan Williams, dislikes celery, hip hop music and Monday mornings at work.

I had cancer, and I had cancer treatment. Neither fact is going  to form any part of how I think of myself or describe myself to others. 

I know women with more advanced stage disease quite rightly would approach this differently, and everyone has to find an approach which suits them, but for me,  cancer doesn't deserve any mention or airtime from me now that treatment is done. Like others have said, I am cured, and I no more define myself by having had cancer than I would define myself by having had the flu or a broken leg.

Same feeling!  The shadow is always there that we can not actually get rid of.....that's why my husband said breast cancer hurt women more emotionally than physically....One of my friend said she tried hard to forget about it but the coming treatments/SEs keep reminding her she is a BC patient.

I like the term "NED"...no evidence of disease....I do think of myself as a "survivor"....also say I had breast cancer.  I don't tend to tell people that I had breast cancer...I may say when I was sick or something generic like that....it tends to not invite questions and just moves the conversation along.  I always wear my pink bracelet and also have pink bead bracelet that I sometimes wear and have pink ribbons on my coats.....My oncologist does not use the words remission or cured and I don't tend to like them for myself.  I was told by someone, that as soon as your hear the words "you have breast cancer" you are a survivor.