Starting Chemo October 2009

Hi Ladies:

I have been rockin along, one foot in front of the other and looking forward to tomorrow's last ddAC.  All the normal suspects for se's - especially muck mouth, mouth sores, and FATIGUE.  So, I thought that I was close to celebrating being done with the big guns and moving to Taxol before the rads. 

Surpise!  The past week I noticed what appeared to be a palpable lump on my good breast (outside upper and lower) that seemed quite hard and ran verticle near the chest wall.  I have lost about 10% body weight since surgery/chemo so I thought maybe it just seems to feel different.  I had my scheduled biweekly visit with my Onc and pointed it out to the Onc during my visit - she gasped and sent me for an immediate ultrasound.  The tech found a "mass" plus a couple of what she thought may be cysts.  So, I am now on the rush list for a biopsy by my breast surgeon.  Yikes!  Has anyone ever heard of this?  New tumor(s) on the good breast while undergoing chemo?  I am holding out that they may be B9;  but....could it be ILC since that usually is hard to detect on tests and is known to be more long than roundlike in shape?  I know that I read some other women have both IDC and ILC so is that what is going on?  Patience, patience, I know the biopsy is what will give us the answers.  I do wish that we could do a lumpectomy but I doubt that is possible due to risk of infection while on chemo...so we will have to hope that the bs gets the right areas to biopsy;(  I will know Monday which is when I think I get it, unless there is a cancellation for tomorrow afternoon after my chemo.

Anyway, I am still on for my last ddAC tomorrow at 8am.  Please keep positive vibes flowing my way that all is well and at least I get that out of the way.  No matter what, I do feel extremely confident in my team of docs and I know we will do what will be necessary to beat this nasty bc.

Cheers...

edited to fix typos - I really need to use spell check first

I did have an MRI back on Sept 3 that showed "dense breasts with marked areas to watch".  In looking at the films frame by frame there does seem to be areas that lit up bright white on the MRI where the masses are located.  I think that maybe they were too focused on the left which had other areas to be removed?  Anyway, no looking back as it will do no good anyway. 

I have read that ILC does not show as the size it is until it is rather large...3cm or larger so that is why I asked about ILC.  The dose of AC I have been getting and plans for Taxol would be protocol for ILC also.  The only thing I thing may need to be done is the removal of the lump(s) and extra radiation on that side.  Of course I do have concern about nodes on the side and that is why we will try to dx now rather than later.

J.

hello ladies, thanks for all the kind words.  These have been a tough few days. I am hoping these are the "dark days of BC'" and once I feel better I can leave them behind.  I still few weak and lousy, the antibiotic makes me queasy and my hair looks awful.  I feel like I am having the pity party I said I never would (so much for being brave through all this). Usually I am a positive person who is known for a sense of humor.....not today.  I am hoping tomorrow will be a brighter day.  I am so glad I am not alone and can reach out to all of you who understand these feelings.

MaryNY- I am so sorry for your news.  I know when anything changes in our diagnosis it is a kick in the stomach.  I felt like that after my lumpectomy.  They had said there was no lymph involvement then 2 weeks later they found "something" and I had to have AND,,,,,wishing you the best as you make your decision.

Jaclyn - you are in my prayers tonight

Hopbird - congrats on your news

Michelleboots- you look adorable..maybe tomorrow I will try my wig up and see if it lifts my spirits

Valerie - as always,  thanks for your support

Have a good night, Jean

Ugh. My wbc plummeted again - so back on antibiotics.  They wanted to switch my chemo from Fridays to Wednesdays which would make it less than 2 weeks between infusions.  Has anyone else gone less than 2 weeks on AC?

 Jean - I have a tooth that hurts, although I did have some deep cleaning done on it before chemo.  I'm wondering if I should just have it yanked if it is the cause of the infection.  I've heard that it is not advisable to have dental work done during chemo, but I'm sure it's not advisable to have low wbc every time.

Onty - will you please have a talk with my system?  It doesn't seem to know that it's not supposed to react the the Abraxane!   I guess it doesn't know virtual from reality.

MaryNY -  you are correct that the idea is less reaction with the Abraxane versus the Taxotere.  The thought is that the chemicals they use for delivery cause the allergic reactions that people have.   From the information they gave me yesterday, neropathy is still a concern with the Abraxane so I 'm not sure they will choose it over the Taxotere as it didn't seem like the chance was lower.

Unfortunately for me, I seem to be allergic to both the chemicals and the actual drug.  In the information they gave me yesterday it mentioned that the "taxanes" are made from the bark of the Pacific Yew tree.  I am betting when my allergist pulls my list of things I am allergic to that tree is on it!   We always joke that I'm allergic to everything that's green & grows...maybe it wasn't a joke.

Jean - I'm sorry you had to be hospitalized.  I'm glad they figured it out and you are home.  

 Hopbird -  I'm glad the Abraxane works for you.  As I mentioned above, my problem seems to be an allergy to the tree it is made from.  My pre-drugs were hydro-cortisone, benadryl, tagamet and an anti-nausea drug.

MarieK - I love your great attitude.  It helps bring me up when I am down -- today would be one of those days.   I'm sure I'm just frustrated with myself about my ever changing treatment because of allergies!

ReneeJean - I totally understand how you feel about work and chemo wearing you out.   Enjoy your 4 day weekend.  I am envious!

Jaclyn - I am hoping for the best for you.  I think your attitude that looking back will not help you is going to help you through this.  Take it one step at a time and lean on us when you need us. 

 I am too far behind to give a shout out to everyone, but know you are in my thoughts and I am pulling for you just like everyone else on this board.   We will get through this ladies.

jean, so sorry to hear about your experience.  Glad they got you on the road to recovery.  We never know what to expect with all this bc tx.

mary, I would not know what to do in your situation.  I am so blessed to not have any other health issues that I have to contend with.  I know you will make the best decision that is right for you and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Congrats to JoJo and Reneejean for tx #3, I go for #2 tomorrow and I will be 1/2 finished.  woohoo for us.

Dee,I am like you.  My first tx went so well, I don't what  to jinx myself this time.  I have been drinking tons of water and a big poweraid, laxative, more water, bag packed and ready to go.  I hope all goes well for you.

hopbird, what good news, I know that is a relief to you.  It is always good to be able to report good news.  I hope it continues to be good for you.

marie, you are always upbeat and refreshing.  I hope you are doing well and we will just hear from you when we hear from you.

I will be  thinking of  all  of you tomorrow  when I get my tx.

Juannelle

Michele, I had to laugh at the response to your wig.  I had someone stop me out the other day and tell me she almost didn't recognize me and I must have done something with my hair, and it was very attractive.  It would have been really awkward at that moment to say well, see, I have cancer and this is my wig because the chemo made my hair fall out, so I just said thanks!

Jacklyn, I guess waiting is the only choice.  I will keep you in my thoughts.  I was hoping that if they did an MRI a couple of months ago that said everything was good, then thinking how hard it would be to have something show up that quickly would give you hope.  If they put you on a "watch" I guess that doesn't do anything.  I'm thinking that if it is the worst, you are already being treated, and you will get through.  Please let us know.  And you're so right about not looking back.  We have to work with our doctors and make the best decisions based upon what we know, and realize that it is really in God's hands.   

SnuziQ, sorry about the allergies.  I thought I had a lot of them, and was sure I was going to react to the Abraxane or the Herceptin, but for some reason I didn't.  I just reacted to the adhesive on the bandage they put over my port!  I guess a lot of people do that, and they do have a hypo-allergenic alternative.  Of course, I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch.  I switch drugs this coming week, and while my Navelbine is supposed to be a kinder, gentler chemo, I never assume anything until it's behind me.

By the way, for some reason my nails stayed perfectly normal, even though I had four doses of Abraxane.  I'm knocking wood, because I guess that could still change too.

Juanelle, you just seem so positive.  Hope work is going well for you, and that your bulldog is taking good care of you. 

Onty, glad #4 went easily.  After having a worse than normal #3 and thinking #4 was really going to be a doozy, mine was pretty tame too.  Go figure!  I'm not going to question it, just glad it worked out that way!

I saw a thing on the Today show this morning about a woman who faked breast cancer, shaved her head to simulate chemo and everything, and had a big fundraiser because she had no insurance.  She used the money to buy implants.  ARE YOU KIDDING!  I have a few ideas about what I hope happens to her..........but I'm trying to be positive.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Hopbird.  My mother use to say when I was little and would pretend to have a broken arm or leg "Never draw the devil on the wall, or he will appear"...I know now she was talking of Karma....

Maryny  I'm sensitive to tapes so whenever I'd end up with an itch after a surgery, be it port of whatever, I'd rub a little fragrant free lotion on where the tape had been.  The cooling affect made it quit itching.  I'm glad we can come here to complain, whine, whatever because we all need to be understood and heard and who else knows how crappy you feel if not a sister without hair???  So please call on us corporately to listen and also to lift you up, pray for you, send you e-hugs, etc.  This is a place of solidarity.  thanks to all who are here on Oct thread.  arby 

Hopbird, my bulldog is having surgery on Monday and she will be out for 4 weeks.  I don't know what I am going to do.  I can think of a few things  that should  be done to that woman, maybe they should just turn her over to us.  We would  teach her a lesson.

Meridith, hope work went well for  you.  You do deserve to be pampered and should be  dropped at the front door.

txstardust, I know  what you mean about staying home.  After each treatment I am reluctant to go to the grocery store, I will try to about going out much next week.  Good luck to you.

I finished  TX #2 today.  All went well and I know I will have a couple more days of feeling good, then on to fatigue and flu symptoms.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Juannelle

Jo Jo, it was good  that your mother went with you to your treatment.  I think it is good for everyone to see how it goes and what is done.  It is interesting that she met someone and had a little cry period.  That was  probably good for her too.  I hope you nausea is over with and you are feeling better today. 

I had #2 today and am feeling fine so far.  I usually start feeling bad late Sunday, at least that was last tx, so I will wait and see how this one goes.

I hope very one has a great weekend.

Juannelle

Jo Jo, thanks for being there, I am also hoping that it is smooth sailing for me.  I don't  need any hickups.

Juannelle

Here's my stats:

(Oct 8) T/C x 4  then radiation (daily x 7 wks), then tamox x 7 yrs (first Tx 11/10)

Jo Jo and Meredith,

I to tried the packing tape, but like Meredith I have way too much hair.  It is loose, if I can get ahold  of it  it will come out, so I just used my electric razer to get some of it off.  My scalp was tender and it was really bothering me.  The razer worked  pretty well.

Welcome BBSOULFUL2, glad to have you join the group.  Good luck to you.

Juannelle

Oh!  I forgot to mention, I got my scarf from franceluxe today!  I thought the e-mail said it would take about four weeks, but this was so quick! It's really gorgeous...any of you ladies that haven't e-mailed them yet should do it ASAP!  They even included a nice card with a bunch of the women's well wishes.