divorced, alone and newly diagnosed with second primary bc

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Doris23
Doris23 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Singles With Breast Cancer

Hi sisters! I am a divorced woman who lives alone.  I was first diagnosed with bc in 1987 when my children where 2 and 6 months old.  I had a lympectomy, radiation and chemo.  All went well. I was divorced in 2004 and had reconstruction surgery/implant on my breast.  Now, five years later, I am diagnosed with a new primary bc in same breast.  Help!

I am scared because my children have moved out and I am living by myself.  I do have friends but how can I get through surgery (possibly double masectomy) and then treatment?

Anyone out there who has some suggestions?????

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  • j414
    j414 Member Posts: 321
    edited November 2009

    Hi Doris,

    I'm so sorry about your diagnosis and understand your fear - you will have a lot of appointments coming up. 

    Register with Lotsa Helping Hands ( links are below), create a website and ask your friends and family to register too. Basically, you input your schedule, appointments etc., - things that you need help with and your "people" sign up to help you with each task. 

    Also, ask your kids for help. My mom was diagnosed w/ BC shortly after I graduated from college and I was happy to pitch in where I could (e.g. going to doctor's appointments, meeting her for radiation, shopping, cooking etc.).

    Best,
    J 

    http://caregiver.lotsahelpinghands.com/how/

    http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2009

    Doris...I didn't have a mastectomy, but I did have chemo, a lumpectomy and rads and I had no help from anyone. Of course, I was lucky to have fared well throughout everything and felt fine the whole time. But you never know...maybe you'll do fine too. I'd suggest that you just take it one step at a time and see how it goes. If you do need help, you have your children and your friends who, I'm sure, would be willing to pitch in.

    And visit the other boards too because lots of us are single and are going it alone. It might not be easy, but its definitely doable.

    Hang in there, Doris. We're here.

    ~Marin

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  • Doris23
    Doris23 Member Posts: 2
    edited November 2009

    Thank you so much for your help.  I will register and I know my friends will help. 

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  • Gin52
    Gin52 Member Posts: 377
    edited November 2009

    Doris,

    I too am divorced and had 2nd primary in same breast after 8 years. (2001 and 2009).  This time I opted for bi-lat mastectomy and immediate "DIEP" reconstruction.  I had to go to New Orleans from TN for my recon because noone here does the diep procedure.  My sister went with me and we stayed there from 9/7-9/18.  I came home by myself.  I have had friends come by, and my daughter helps, but you will be surprised what you can do on your own.  Also, ins might could arrange for home health nurses to come by?  Anyway, you are in the right place for plenty of help and support!!  You can do this, because YOU are worth it!!

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  • 5andcounting
    5andcounting Member Posts: 232
    edited November 2009

    I am newly diagnosed, divorced, one 15 year old still at home, one graduating.

    I think I understand your fear because my own is overwhelming.  The only thing I know for sure is to gather all the positive people you have and let them love you.  I am blessed with friends and family (although I think my boyfriend is getting ready to bail on me).

    I hope you have people there for you too.  If not, join a church  or a support group. Just make sure there is someone who you can talk to.  Even through internet.

    You beat it once, you can do it again.

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  • Sierra
    Sierra Member Posts: 1,638
    edited November 2009

    Sending positive light to you!

    Yes, one day at a time

    and come here for support

    Hugs, Sierra :))

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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited November 2009

    Do you think there's any way someone could stay overnight with you the first day or so?  Gosh, I'm really sorry you're in this situation. 

    I had to go to the emergency room the day after my surgery for a second surgery - not trying to scare you, but I needed someone there and thank God I had my son to help me out.

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  • CasinoGirl
    CasinoGirl Member Posts: 673
    edited November 2009

    Doris,

    I understand your fear.  In 2004 I had just separated from husband of 20 years and living alone when I received my diagnosis. 

    I had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation, and lived alone the entire time. (still do)  I did have family and friends who took me for surgeries and for chemo. 

    As Marin mentioned above, many of us are single and have managed through treatment. 

    You can do it.  We are here for you.

    Donna

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  • musiclovermom
    musiclovermom Member Posts: 452
    edited December 2009

    Doris

    I just had my bilateral mastectomy 10/15/09 and I can tell you I needed some one to stay with me for the first 2 weeks. Would any of your children be able to come stay? I did not need too much help, but someone there to make sure you take your meds and get you a glass of water, drive you to appointments etc.

    By two weeks I was driving my little stick shift car all alone with my drains stuffed in my jeans pockets. It is hard but you can do this. I am doing it at 44 all alone and you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for!

    Let me know if I can help in any way!

    big hugs!

    Kimberly

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