No BIG deal... (yeah right!)

You are not alone!  I've had all of the above said to me (except the chemo comment since I didn't do it.)  I try politely to set people straight when they say things that are flat out wrong; such as pointing out that over 40,000 women a year die from this disease and that no one knows what causes BC.   And, I try to explain the fear that breast cancer patients will ALWAYS feel about recurrence. I do get rather snippy sometimes when I think someone is being truly idiotic.  I was once told, "I wish I could get a boob job and have my insurance cover it."  She got an earful!!

Although organizations like Komen do amazing work raising money to fight this disease, the sea of pink survivor shirts that everyone sees on TV or at a race gives the impression that breast cancer is a disease that most can "survive."  Although many of us will survive, I do feel some responsibility to educate people about the toll breast cancer takes.

I don't know that people are deliberately uncaring or rude.  They want to be encouraging, make you feel good, see the bright side, find the silver lining, etc.  But, they just have no idea how we feel.  So, they say stupid things.  I'm sorry all of those things were said to you.  (((hugs)))

I think people believe they can lift our spirits with what they think are positive statements. They just really don't know what to say sometimes so ignorant statements come flowing out. For the most part, they mean well. Then there are the really stupid SOBs like the one southport wrote about. Yikes!! And as desdemona222b wrote, it is just as annoying when your treated like you have one foot in the grave.

It is sad that the people that should care the most act like morons. Is it because they are rude or are they so uncomfortable and/or scared for you that they think joking will help. Unfortunately they are failing miserably at it. When planning my reconstruction I did joke that "I can get those DDs I've always wanted" just to lighten the situation. It made it easier to discuss the surgery & process with friends & family - for them and me.

I did get the "lose weight on chemo" comment and fired off with that really isn't a great diet plan. And what REALLY sucked was I gained weight during treatment. Sigh . . .

So, MsMarilyn, you are not alone. That's why this is such a great site. We all need to stand by each other.

Ignorance is bliss so that explains why certain people are always happy.

Hi MsMarilyn!  Just don't LTBGYD!  Sorry, but that's what those people are!  Those comments are just plain rude & un-called for....EVER!   As you get older, you will learn, that some people simply have no class, & they think their comments are either funny or needed!  TELL them!  Tell them "that was a stupid thing to say"....and walk off!   They don't deserve your friendship or your company....Just stay confident in yourself...WE know how you feel...just us girls!  And we'll alwlays be here for you!  Hugs, kiddo!

You GO girl!  Just carry yourself high, keep a good sense of humor, & understand that this world just has mutton-head people all over it!  But don't let them get to you....whether it is about your breast issues or ANYthing in your life, just stand up for yourself, & carry dignity in your heart!   Just look at all your "friends" here, with these posts!  We are all here for you, holding you up with angel wings!  Breathe deep, put on that beautiful smile, & know you are not alone!  xoxoxoxo