Did I cause my breast cancer?

Options
Sunflower64
Sunflower64 Member Posts: 166
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

hi girls,

i blame myself for my bc.  when i read the risks i have all of them.  i had my one and only child at 40, i was on the pill on and off for 20 years, i smoked on and off for 10 of those years, i drank alcohol frequently, i was never overweight but my diet was bad at times, i exercised but probably not as much as i should of and my mother has bc.  i always thought i had a pretty good chance of getting bc but i thought i would be older like my mom, she was 59 when she was dx. my little girl will be 5 in december and i want to be here for her. i wish i would of taken better care of myself.

thanks for listening,

diane

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Hi Diane,

    Yes you could have taken better care of yourself. But nothing is lost yet. Look at this BC as a wake up call to make lifestyle and diet changes. You should be able to live for your daughter.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • charleneg
    charleneg Member Posts: 69
    edited October 2009

    Diane,

    Don't beat yourself up.  The statistics of people that get breast cancer are about 70% or so with no family history, no known factors.  Many have done "everything right" and still get it.  I don't think they really know what causes it yet, and some are saying maybe even environmental since 1 person every 3 minutes get breast cancer I heard.  I have gone over that in my head also and it doesn't really help me.  I can only go on from here.  

    I have a site here, Stage 1, Grade 3, ER-, PR-, HER2+ so go to it for comfort.

    God Bless You.

    Char 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited October 2009

    Diane, 

    Don't beat yourself up about any of that-  there are many women who did exactly the same and will never get BC... and nobody can explain why.

    As Ram Dass said 'Be Here Now'.  

    My mom never drank, smoked or took the pill.  She always went to  aerobics classes and got BC anyway.  

    Cut yourself some slack but don't be afraid to make changes either.  :)  -Tamara 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited October 2009

    My ex-boss did EVERYTHING right.  She ate only organic foods, exercised daily, never smoked, drank on social occasions only.  She was a health nut and she got BC.

    I was on the pill for 19 years, smoked for 25 years, was never a heavy drinker by any means but I was not a health nut as far as food but I always got more than enough exercise daily and I got BC.

    Today - I still smoke, still drink, still don't eat as healthy as I should but I do everything in moderation now.  

    If you read the stories here, so many women who did everything right still got BC so don't blame yourself.  It just happens.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sashiko
    Sashiko Member Posts: 49
    edited October 2009

    Hi,

    Don't beat yourself up Diane.  We did not not know as much before, as we do now and remember how many women live for 20 or 30 years with breast cancer.  A positive attitude at all times is the most important thing, other than regular check ups.

    Think how much you have to live for and you WILL be here for that dear wee girl.

    Good luck to you,

    Sashiko

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited October 2009

    Diane, in answer to your question:

    NO! YOU DID NOT CAUSE YOUR BREAST CANCER!

    There is some evidence that lifestyle might have an influence on whether or not we get bc, but too many women without those factors get it for tht to be the only reason. As Madalyn said, being female and having breasts can be enough.

    As for me - smoked for maybe 5 years but stopped over 30 years before dx, did not drink (can't stand the taste) and was never obese and only occasionally a bit overweight, had 6 children (first one at age 26) and nursed them all for a long time. Got bc anyway.

    Lifestyle changes (diet, exercise) at this point would be a good thing, mainly because you'll feel better for them. They also might make it easier to get through treatment.

    Leah

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lexislove
    lexislove Member Posts: 2,645
    edited October 2009

    I remember when I was first diagnosed.....I reviewed my whole life! I was a smoker for 15 yrs (more social), my early 20;s I went out to the clubs and had my fare share of drinks. I ate good, avoided fast food and my weight was good. I walked daily, had my daughter at 28 but did not breast feed. I did go through an extreme stressful period for about 2 years, which I, in my heart, believe what caused my BC.

    I have NO family history, and tested negative for the BRCA gene. I felt so guilty, like I caused my diagnosis. I was so angry about me having smoked ect ect.....then I met another young woman who was diagnosed at the same time. She was thin, never smoked,never drank, skinny,and ate well(asian diet/shes asian) No stress, finished university....and BAM! Breast cancer. It was then that I realised I am not to blame. I have said it before....I feel BC is environmental.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited October 2009

    As far as the "stress causes cancer" thing - is there ANYONE  you know who DOESN'T have stress in their life? If you think so, maybe you don't know that person so well.

    Leah

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cakeisgreat
    cakeisgreat Member Posts: 660
    edited October 2009

    Yep, I'm one of those that have NO risk factors...breast fed FOUR kids for a year each, dont smoke, never drank a drop of alcohol, low stress, had kids before age 30, never been on the pill, never took drugs , healthy as a horse in every way, exercised, no cancer of any kind on either side of my family for generations!  I was diagnosed at age 37.

    Go figure! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nene2059
    nene2059 Member Posts: 270
    edited October 2009

    No way we caused our breast cancer.  I was diagnosed at 36.  BRCA negative.  Did drink..used to smoke a little when I drank but stopped that several years ago.  Have had stress in life.  Ate very clean.  Got breast cancer.  Guess what?  I know women that have more stress, more smoking, more alcohol, more food....no breast cancer.  Cancer does what it wants and does not follow rules.  Don't beat yourself up because unlike cancers like lung and mouth/throat there are no lifestyle choices that are definitively linked to BC.  Being female and having breasts are what put us at risk for BC.  I have made lifestyle choices since finishing treatment that make me feel better and feel like I have some control (which I don't) and are things we should all be doing whether we had cancer or not.  We just have been given the push that people who have not faced cancer do not get.  I remember before cancer thinking that I would do these things eventually but it was no big rush because I was young and if I was ever going to get cancer I would be much older.  Reminded me that life is not a dress rehearsal.  You did not cause it....do what you can to keep it from coming back and enjoy your fabulous life.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • paigelise
    paigelise Member Posts: 173
    edited October 2009

    What a great thread!  The nurse told me not to waste my energy wondering how I got it but I also  start to feel guilty over my lifestyle.  I used to think I was "safe" from breast cancer because it doesn't run in my family.  Now when I look at the risk factors I'm really up there...bad diet, used to smoke, used BCP, little exercise, no children...

     So when I read this post it makes me feel a little better. 

    Wendy

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TammyLou
    TammyLou Member Posts: 740
    edited October 2009

    Somehow, I doubt it.

     I don't smoke, don't drink excessively.  Before bc, I was not overweight and I exercised routinely.  Ate right.

    Never took the pill or any hormonals.

    Never did drugs.

    Nuns have a higher incidence of bc than the average population...I guess I should have done more sinnin'...then, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess!!!  :)

    tl

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited October 2009
    My advice would be:  Don't waste energy wondering how you got b/c or blaming yourself  - because you'll never know.  It is what it is.  Use that energy to live the rest of your life as fully as possible.  Don't look back - move forward from here.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited October 2009

    You did not cause yourself to get BC - it happens those of us who have exercised, eat healthy, don't smoke and those of us who have maybe eaten too much, let exercise fall through the cracks, drink more than socially.............. It happens.  I have no family history of any type of cancer on either side of my family and here I am, Stage III TN breast cancer.  My doctor speculated that it could have been caused by an auto-immune medicaiton I had been taking for my RH months prior to diagnosis, but the truth is I'll never really know and neither will he.  I think it's out there and hits us randomly without reason.

    I'm sorry for your dx - I'm thinking of you and you will find support here.......

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited October 2009
    Have a look at the thread called  Let's conduct our own study on how we all got breast cancer - as far as I can see, the only conclusion can be that there is no conclusion about why we got breast cancer. We just did. The real question is     now what? You can beat yourself up about it, or you can choose to deal with it and carry on as best as possible for as long as possible.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited October 2009

    Absolutely NOT! You did nothing to cause your bc....You could have eaten right, exercised, gotten proper sleep and everything else right and STILL gotten bc!.....I know al ady who ate right, even did portion control, ran marathons and hit the gym daily and was not even one ounce over weight and was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.....Wasn't her fault either....Wasn't my fault that I got it either or my 2 sisters or my mother or grandmother.......If we knew what caused breast cancer we would find a cure in a heartbeat.....Don't beat yourself up..Just do whatever your doctor tells you and try to keep upbeat for your children......When you are alone you can fall apart all you want....You can even come here and rant and rave at the unfairness fo it all.....I know how hard it is to stay upbeat around family......I have a now 18 yr old daughter.....She was 15 when I was diagnosed.....We have come a long way but we made it to the other side and you can too.........My mantra used to be I have breast cancer but it doesn't have me!.....Feel free to use it any time you like......

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited October 2009

    If only it were that clear cut.  Then we would have a cure already!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • zap
    zap Member Posts: 2,017
    edited October 2009

    Who knows if you did or did not bring on your own BC.  You may never know.  Your mom had BC so it could be genetic.  I would say just be careful with yourself now.  Never smoke, give up the alcohol and get exercise and watch your diet.  You may still have BC, but darn, you gave it your best shot.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited October 2009

    You didn't cause your breast cancer!  Do your best to get through all of this!  You an do it, we are here to support you.

    Take care of yourself and that daughter of yours.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Maire67
    Maire67 Member Posts: 768
    edited July 2010

    No  you didn't cause your breast cancer.   If someone could...then there would be perfect people who never had diseases.   Our environment is full of toxins ...from the birth control pills we took or didn't take ...to the tupperware cups we used or didn't use to the DDT that was sprayed all over the country to the air we breathe, water we drink etc.well.  Friends suggested that they didn't get it because they had a mammo every year( so did I?)  I breast fed 3 children...but I smoked  for 10 years out of 56...I played in the sandbox after they sprayed for mosquitos.   We all lived our lives as best we could.

    I feel for you because I struggled with causing my own breast cancer.  Friends meaning well told me to use yoga, acupuncture, no chemo, lots of chemo...they all meant  I)...that my doctor missed it( I have lobular ...it doesn't show up on mammos)

    My suggestion is to take a deep breath and look forward.   Live your life as best you can right now.   .   If it was simple to prevent then none of us would be on this board and bc wouldn't exist.

    You'll find lots of advice and opinions on this board, a lot of us differ on some things BUT  No one here is judging your decisions. We have all "been there"  and many of us will be here for you.  Try to take one day at a time.    Sending good thoughts your way.   There are many wise women here.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited October 2009

    I have no risk factors and no history and I am 33 years old.  I don't drink and have never put a cigarette in my mouth.  But, I have a very poor diet, I am only starting to try vegetables in my diet, I have had a high fat diet most of my life (but for some reason I have never been overweight).  I blamed my cancer on my poor diet and my love for diet pepsi lol.  But, you know what, we can't turn back the clock and we don't know whether we could have prevented the cancer by taking better care of ourselves.  This gives us a new beginning, and I am going to take care of myself from here on in. 

    Read the link lassie put up there, if nothing else it'll give you some much needed laughs!!!  I love that thread, there is some great 'reasons' we got breast cancer in there. lol. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • terrij152
    terrij152 Member Posts: 530
    edited October 2009

    Diane, do not blame yourself for getting breast cancer!  My mother and sister were diagnosed in February 2008 and in March 2009 I was diagnosed!  I had my first and only child at the age of 28, didn't use birth control that much and tried to follow a healthy lifestyle.  Well it obviously didn't work for me or my mom and sister.  There are so many factors that can cause BC.  Surprisingly enough I tested negative for the BRCA 1 & 2 genetic mutation.  I personally believe that the cause of my family's breast cancer is environmental, but I have no proof of it.

    Right now take care of yourself and hug your daughter!  You'll get through this!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited November 2009

    I think that if it is true that we have the ability to cause something - like breast cancer - then the flip side of the argument would have to be true: we would have the ability to cause breast cancer NOT to happen. No one has figured out yet how to make it not happen - therefore we can't take responsibility for making it happen. Does that make any sense?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cakeisgreat
    cakeisgreat Member Posts: 660
    edited November 2009

    Well said, Lassie!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories