Have you ever wanted to die?

Oh my....

I so wish I could give you a hug! Please don't do anything to harm yourself. I would strongly suggest talking to your onc or GP about these thoughts and feelings. Anti depressants can help a lot. So many of us are on them to help us.

The boards are available to connect with woman always. Please hang in there.

((((HUG))))

<cannotstopcrying> A group hug was just sent your way.  {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Please stay on this board. We really care for our sisters.

BTW I also am on antidepressant and anxiety meds It wasn't related to BC but I do understand that desperate feeling. Maybe talking to a counselor will help you.

Sheila

I'm really sorry you're feeling so desolate.  Praying for you!

Hello Cannotstop--now you are not alone, you have all of us.  Someone is always around here, 24/7 to listen and understand--we have all been there and indeed, it does not last.

Please speak to your doctor about an anti-depressant and possibly an anti-anxiety drug.  These are wonderful "tools"  to help us get through this difficult journey,

And you will get through it!

Give that dog of yours some sloppy  cocker kisses from my also cancer finding dog!  Our fur pals saved our lives--my dog kept digging into my breast and created a blood filled cyst which sent me to the doctor to find my tiny little lump--without her it could have been months before I found it.

Take some deep breaths, go to the grocery store and pick up something really nice to cook up for that wonderful dog of yours, then take her/him for a nice long walk--we will all be walking right by your side.

Please tell us more about your diagnosis and where you are in your treatment plan.  Feel free to ask any questions, because someone here will have answers to help you.

Warm hugs to you!

You need to get help right away.  There is treatment for you, you can feel better, but you have to take that step and get help.  I agree with KerryMac, call your onc TODAY and get a referral.  

Good Morning cannotstopcrying.......I was thinking about you and I wanted to say Hi and see how you are doing. You are not alone we're still here and will be. Are you having a warm day in Chicago? Talk to you little later.

HUGS

Sheila

Dear cannotstopcrying,  Look at that beautiful dog!  Is he/she yours?  I know when I feel down, my 4-legged children seem to know and I don't feel so alone.  May your fur child do the same for you!

Hi -- I understand what you're feeling.  I've felt that way many times -- like, what's the point.  I don't have a husband/partner or children.  Who needs me around? Everyone has their own lives.  It's hard being alone.  Sometimes it's only my cat that keeps me going, she needs me.  I mean that -- my obligation to my cat is sometimes the only thing that keeps me alive.  I don't tell many people this, so here it is out in the open.  And your dog needs you.  I don't say this lightly, I think of our pets as our children, they need and love us. 

I think getting on an anti-depressant will help calm things down so you then can help yourself.  There's life out there for you to enjoy.  What's waiting just around the corner for you?  Let your curiosity of what's next keep you going.  It really helps me.  The same things that were there before BC are still there waiting for you.

It is isolating, being dx-ed with mets.  The why me questions, feeling ripped off, kicked down. I know, it's awful.  I have my really dark days.  But now's the time to be absolutely selfish -- what has made you happy before the dx?  Focus on that.  Make plans to do something just for you.  Short term plans.  And something further in the future -- it gives you something to work towards, look forward too.  I don't have a husband or children to anchor me, "just" my cat.  So I make anchors for myself.  These are some of the things I do to cope on my own.  Maybe they might work for you.

So, first please see someone to get an antidepressant to help with the immediate depression.  Then focus on what you have to live for, things you can plan, give you excitement for the future.  And spoil yourself silly.  You deserve it.  Your dog needs you.  People who enjoy a neighbourly smile from you need you.  Someone in the future you have yet to meet needs you and appreciates you.  You have lots of value in this world.  You get through this if you don't have a support network -- my network is the wonderful women here, the nurses where I get chemo and emails from my sister.  The same women here and your nurses can be your support network.

Come to this website daily or as often as you can.  There's a forum here for depression -- it really helps knowing there are others in the same boat, that you can help each other.  I can truely call many of the women here friends even if I've never met them.  If I were ever in their hometown I could give them a call and know I'd get a big hug.  Please keep posting here, we're here for you.  Big hugs for you,

Elizabeth

One more thing that you might want to try.  I often tell my cancer to f-off.  I say ha, you're NOT going to screw things up.  I am going to [fill in the blank] today and enjoy myself.  You, cancer, may have screwed up some things but you're NOT going to screw up everything.  You, cancer, do not exist for me today.  And I do something good for myself and feel like I've won that day.  It's those little victories that make life sweet.  More hugs,

Elizabeth

Yes.

 During the year following treatment, my quality of life was so bad and I was in so much pain that I thought we had done a whole lot of work to gain "nothing."

Cancer diagnosis and treatment is tough.

When the going gets tough...the tough may need a little help.  (I get by with a little help from my friends...not just a song.)

For me, the emotional follows the physical.  Sometimes, we are just so beat up that we are more hopeless than hopeful...and yes, I think that there are resources that can help us, but there probably is not a magic cure.

Recovery can be long and it is hard work and it can be particularly problematic when the rest of the world thinks we should be "happy"...and what we really are is tired.

"Miss Tammy Lou, in one word or less, please describe cancer patients...."

"TIRED."

Cancer patients are tired.

You are not alone.

Time and healing and some of the right meds, right care, right counseling....can help you get through this, too.

Please keep us posted.

tl 

I just wrote a long heartfelt response to you, and somehow when I submitted it, it simply disappeared.  So, let me just say this to you.  If you need some one on one support, please PM me.  I am a six year survivor (so far) of stage IV BC and although I got some not terrible but not great news today, I would love to help you in any way I can.  Please take all the wonderful advice given above.  You are not alone.  I hope you can feel the caring.

Robin 

Dear sweet sister,   You are not alone!!  Many of us have felt similarly.  Please talk to somebody.  Maybe a friend, or family member.  We are all here to support you!  I felt the same way last winter---offering you all my love, prayers, and support.  In sisterhood, xo

My short answer is yes and I sent you a PM.  Even if you don't realize it, you are soooo not alone.  Stay on these boards and surround yourself with the women here, even if you can only bring yourself to read without posting.  In the meantime, please get yourself a good neurobehavioral oncologist, stay strong, and continue to reach out to others.

cannotstopcrying,

I hope today was a better day and you have made some steps to help yourself out. Please update us when you can. Like all the other ladies have already said......we are all here for you.

Be well.