Stage Less than 4 Woman...Here's YOUR place..

Okay my BS told me when I came in for my post op to please never come back with crocs on....lol.....  I about peed my pants.  Then she told me that my outfit was very cute looking but the shoes....ewwwweee......  She is older so it had me cracking up.  I should send her a pair....

crocs were a life saver for me with no toe nails.  I kept bumping into things and they helped protect my poor toes.  I still cannot wear regular shoes as my toe nails are only half grown out.  Last Christmas my DS gave me some decorations for my crocs.   They caught the eye of one little boy recently and he told his Mommy he wanted some...   A robot figure, a frog, couple of flowers and couple of "jewels" - sparkly glass, butterfly and a dolphin.  I figure at my age (63) they can just call me an old bag who has totally lost it !!!

I still can't make myself like crocs, except for yard work...................  However, if I were having trouble with my feet I may look into wearing them.  I hate to say the words never............

Linda,

That is really nice of you.  I think that sometimes it gets to be too much for the Stage IV to take care of others when they are struggling to take care of themselves and their families.  It also didn't help that a few Stage IV women passed away when Brook posted (this DOES NOT imply that Brook did anything wrong).  The deaths of those women really hit home with so many women on this board, but really hit the Stage IVs especially hard.  I find that overall the Stage IVs are so great.  They post on all different types of threads and try to be as helpful as possible.  See, you are another great example of that. 

Unsolicited comment from the peanut gallery...

My own history...in the cancer pages...In a rather painful episode, I had my "awareness" raised.  Several of the women that I was diagnosed with were later diagnosed with advanced disease...and several of the women that had befriended me were very sympathetic and kind while I was in treatment also had advanced (stage 4) disease.

Years passed.

What I didn't know...that they had to tell me...is that my fat chubby cheeks and long hair are a grim reminder that they are still sick...and I am visibly well.

I got better and they didn't.

It is not a matter of "intention."

By my very presence, I remind them that for me (whatever my story has been or will be), right now cancer has been a "temporary" condition.

They do not have that luxury.

So, no...we are not in the same boat.

I am the lady who sat in the third pew, deep in treatment, who turned my head and told a fellow church member to go f- herself. 

So, I think I do understand that on some days, a feather can be too heavy.  A single straw could be the last one. 

I also think that (conceptually), this could be a tough concept to grasp, particularly for someone who is new.

It was (and is) hard for me...and I am not new.

A good friend said to me, "Are you ever just MAD...like mad at the people in line at the grocery store because you have to deal with this crap and they don't?"

Yes.   

In a certain relative sense, the "Stage Less than 4" women are the people standing in line at the grocery store...and, it's why I often shop at the K&B...I can't deal with it.

I can imagine that a mets lady might have this issue exponentially...it is possible that one or two are doing the live demo.   

tl 

Barbara- I agree what a great way to handle that comment. Lucky-it's all relative, huh?!

Jane-yes, I've been asked to donate. I did donate to the local community cancer center's ACS event as I didn't participate as my chemo had re-started. BUT, I do feel that I "already gave at the office" just by going thru this!

In addition, there was a BC awareness educational program at church. I was asked to be there  to answer questions and augment the presentation given by the nurse. I don't think she knew that I am not only a  BC survivor but also a doctor. I got fairly upset (just labeled angry) when staging was discussed and the need to catch the disease early. Obviously, I would have loved to have caught it earlier BUT I would have rather had a way to PREVENT it. And when she talked about how treatments and side effects have improved so......I almost lost it. Don't get me wrong, I know chemo & rads are not like they used to be. But, really!  Other people have no clue!!!

And, so, I can understand the Stage 0 vs. I vs. II vs. III vs.  IV sensitivity issues. The 'walk a day in my shoes' issue. I'd rather none of us had to deal with ANY of this.  Just glad that there are others who understand how I feel.

This may have already been addressed but I'm too frazzled to search through 5 pages. When someone passes on the Stage IV threads, are we allowed to post our condolences? I'm not about to step on anyone's toes...

Linda

I did with Heidi And Amber. We are allowed to feel sad when one of our sisters become an angel.

Had a friend stage IV not on these boards but we talked on the phone a lot. This is a lost of life. I feel if I know the person from these boards will post it.

What do you think ladies?

Sheila

Edited to correct the spelling

smithlme, no one has complained about postind condolences so far on the stage 4 thread......I really don't think they mind that.......

I wanted to post about a BC sister I have gotten to know who was on another thread, then went to stage IV and has had a turn for the worse.  I posted on the threads she posted on.  Her husband wanted us to send her 1000 cards by Thanksgiving.

 I personally don't feel comfortable posting on the stage IV section; only posted once a condolence for a stage IV sister I had gotten to know.  I won't post anymore for fear of upsetting the people on the thread.  But that's me.

jrg,

If I wanted to offer condolences, I would go to any board here. It should not upset anyone if you do so...but thats my opinion. I know you would only have pure intentions no matter what board it is. Hugs, Mazy

When ever I post on Stave IV boards is because I know and met the person.  I met alot of wonderful ladies 1 yr ago October in Las Vegas and a number of them are Stage IV.  I love them dearly.

I of course offer condolences when a BC sister passes of this beast, my mum died 13 1/2 years ago, she fought the beast for 6 years.  She was only 64 yrs old. God I miss her.

I am so glad we can talk about this and feel safe.  I truly believe it is important we can feel comfortable expressing our thoughts, feelings and ideas.  I know I look for others' ideas and their input; who knows, maybe my continuing to discuss, compare notes, find out about tx and share what we know we can discover better tx, better recovery and communicate more effectively a way to survive our ordeals and discover a cure.  We all know how multifaceted the sneaky beast of cancer is.  Our dx, our tx and our survivability should not , cannot and I hope for all of us is not a cookie cutter kind of situation.  ( I know, yet another discussion !  ), but if I had never discovered bc.org, it would have taken me so much longer to discover a really good lotion to put on my foob during radiation tx, hence take a much longer time to schedule a exchange....

Anyway, I go on and on just to say thank you all for stating your opinion, and responding to mine.  I probably won't post on stage IV - but that's just me.