Did this past year really happen?? BC. me????

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lovemyfamilysomuch
lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
Did this past year really happen?? BC. me????
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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited October 2009

    Dear bc friends,  I can't tell you how much this group has meant to me over the past year.  Such wonderful support and caring and, yes, love!  I check in every day.  My dx was about a year ago.  Maybe I am having some kind of anniversary reaction, but today it really hit me.  I had breast cancer!  It was a horrible year!  I am better.  I really don't know what I am saying, but just wanting to see if for anyone else out there this whole think suddenly began to seem, well, like a bad dream? Surreal??  I am a cancer person?  What?  I don't know what I am asking for, just putting thoughts to paper.  In sisterhood, xo

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited October 2009

    It has been a little bit more than a year since my bi-mast. I really wish the past year was a bad dream, but I am reminded it wasn't everytime I look at my chest. Also, it seems like to me that life provides opportunities to remind me . On Friday, we had a staff meeting - old pictures were passed around, for fun. But I just felt sad, looking at the ones where I had breasts. Or I meet someone I haven't seen in quite a while and get that puzzled look. But while it the past year doesn't seem like a bad dream, I don't feel so raw and emotional.



    I am thinking that maybe it is like childbirth. You remember it hurt, but as time passes, the memories become less vivid. A good thing, in both instances...







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  • lexislove
    lexislove Member Posts: 2,645
    edited October 2009

    Hi ther it will be 2 yrs for me finishing chemo in Feb & my mastectomy in March.....2yrs!

    There are days when I sit back and think what happened? How did I do it? But I did. Those days after finishing treatment were happening more. Now.......I can go days, weeks without thinking about my diagnosis.

    I don't live in fear anymore. I do wonder....but it doesn't tak a hold of me. My life is back. Im enjoying it. I cant worry about tomorrow. It is such a waste. All I know is right now, Im cancer free. I HOPE for many more years of course.

    I feel confident about my tamoxifen and Zometa that they are helping me get to being deffinatly cancer free.

    It is a hard road, but the only thing that really helps? Time. You are coming up to 1 year since diagnosis....that is such a good reason to celebrate! Don't look back....keep onward.

    Be well.

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited October 2009

    I know what you mean about feelings of unreality. Sometimes I have to look at my body to believe it happened.

    All through treatment I kept telling myself that this fall I would go th the U.S. to visit my family when I finished treatment as a celebration of finishing.  I'm leaving in a few weeks, so I think I'll really believe I did it AND I'M FINISHED when I go.

    Leah

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited October 2009

    It is a lot like comming out of a tunnel. When it all began, I had no idea that I'd make it thru the whole mess.  I remember telling dh, "I just wanted to be here to see what their (my kids) babies looked like".  I may never have grandkids, but I can see MY babies who are adults that I admire and am so proud of.

    My family and I learned a lot about communication: I hold nothing back from them about our medical conditions--unlike trying to "protect" them with the bc crap.  Never again for any of us.  We need each other too much for support and caring.

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  • FlowerArtist
    FlowerArtist Member Posts: 51
    edited October 2009

    It's like coming out of a tunnel .... I like that, I like that a lot.  It describes the whole thing really well.

    My BC was a year ago.  Oddly, tonight is the anniversity of my surgery ..... didn't even realize it until just now.

     Wanted to say, maybe to ask too, that I seem to have picked up steam in the last month (since my first post BC mammo) and I'm getting reinvolved in lots of things.... things I didn't even realize I had slacked off on.  It seems like the past year I was just marking time .... yeah, and having surgery and rads and trying to keep my act together.  Now, suddenly, its over.  Well, its not, because I'll always know that maybe, just maybe, probably not, but just maybe it will happen again.  But its over and I'm alive once more.

     Anybody else with this kind of response?

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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited October 2009

    FlowerArtist,  yes, I am beginning to come back to things as well.  Mostly, however, by the time I get home from work and walk the dog I am ready to call it a day.  I don't seem to have the energy to be involved in volunteering and social activies during the week like I used to.  Weekends are spent with family--the best part of the week!  In sisterhood, xo 

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