Facebook or not to facebook?

Interesting question. I use Facebook a bit. I find that you can spend all day on there, between quizzes and games and chatting. But in the long run, I think it encourages more self-isolation for people who are prone to secluding themselves in the first place.

And I call those folks with a gazillion friends "friend collectors." They like the numbers. Or the friends are just acquaintances who "friend" each other for the sake of doing it. That said, the social networking is probably going to make face to face gatherings like class reunions obsolete. Everyone will know who's married, who's divorced, what the kids are doing, and way more. Why interact in person?

I think FB has its place, but, as with everything, moderation in the key. For me, anyway.

Anne

Humm, I like facebook. I'm only friends with people I know. Through facebook, I'm getting to know a cousin I never knew, lived far and we were never in touch and now we're talking through each other's status and it's neat. I'm getting to know a wonderful gal that is going through breast cancer (she's the only "stranger" I have as a friend, but we were chatting through blogs before FB). It's allowing me to be in touch with friends we left behind when we moved back home last year. I reconnected with old high school friends. I like it. Most of my facebook interaction is with people that lives 2-3+hours away, so I'm not trading face-to-face with FB. It's great to be able to show pictures of my kids to family far away without having to upload pictures in a bunch of different emails. I can see how it might not be good for everyone and at the same time, I'm very careful with what I write, like I'll never say something like "leaving for vacation tonight".

Ditto what Cebula said!  

My DD got a real telling off from her bosses, for her 'colourful' language on Facebook. ( I have to agree with them, as sometimes she can be very un-ladylike !!)

She works for a major childrens charity, sorting out underage mothers and babies, so her bosses were right to pull her....but she was so mad... like a wasp had got up her skirt...he he he.

She has now moderated her language ( she can SOOOOO embarass me !! ) She was asked to block a few of her 'friends'.  These 'friends' were some of the mothers she was looking after, and its against the rules of this charity to engage with 'her' girls except thru work, so she was being a bit naughty, tho' she couldn't see it that way !!!!

Isabella.

But don't most people have their stuff blocked to where the only way you can see it is if you are their friend ??    Sahalie, do you really run across that many that are PUBLIC???  Just curious....I also run a business and actually never thought of that idea....

Pabbie, I can't imagine how anyone could have 200 real friends. Two hundred acquaintences, maybe.  But, friends?  I doubt it.

IMHO, tha's one of the silly things about FB. Everyone is classified as a "friend". It doesn't matter whether that person is your sister, a next-door neighbor, someone you met on vacation last summer, or a near-stranger whose FB name you recognize only from contact over the internet.  And, that FB name can be fake.

I think the more "friends" a person has on FB, the riskier things can get.  People you know fairly well are not as likely to say something crude or nasty, or tag you in an embarrassing photo.  (I hope not, anyway. There are always pranksters.)  The risk does depend on how you've set up the FB security settings, though.  if things you post on your FB page are released to people you don't know, like "friends of friends", rather than just to your own friends, then you've lost control of your post. But, I'm not a teckie (sp?), either.  I just get by.

I like FB. It has given me a way to stay in contact with the women in my BCO chemo group now that many of us have moved on.  It has also allowed me to reconnect with some cousins and college friends I haven't talked with for many years. Because of the "network" function, I've been able to locate high school classmates I lost a long time ago.

Those are all people I would call on the phone or correspond with anyway.  FB just makes that easier.  I do admit I'm kind of picky when it comes to accepting a "friend" request.  I don't "friend" someone just because FB suggests I should (a friend of a friend, for instance). I ignore friend requests from people whose names and/or profile pics I don't recognize at all. (It helps if someone includes a short note reminding me of our connection, if there is one.)

As for the quizzes and games, I mostly ignore those, too.  There are a few that are fun and harmless, like the "Pick 5" lists (e.g., "Name 5 National Parks you've visited" or "What were the first 5 cars you owned?"). I also like posting pictures so friends can see what I've been doing lately.  That's about it, though.

What sahalie and Isabella said is important. Some FB users have a false sense of privacy and security.  Posting something on FB is like printing it in the city newspaper, or saying it on TV.  National TV, in fact... for all the world to see -- including a person's schoolteachers, present and future employers, parents, children. Posting things recklessly can cause considerable embarrassment.

otter

Nothing but trouble IMO, unless you're comfortable being "googled". Like Sahalie, I know how many companies use FB to weed out potential and existing employees.

I am on Facebook all the time (mostly when I am not sleeping nights, like now) I currently have 114 "friends" there.  I am in touch with old high school friends and many many bc sisters.  I never post risky things, you can not look at my page unless I accept you as a friend and I post a lot of information about bc on it, in hopes that one day someone with questions that knows me will feel comfortable asking me questions.  I use my notes as my blog.  It is a way for family and friends to keep up with how I am doing and not worrying about bothering me.  I love it, but I also understand why a lot of people dont use it.

My youngest son is applying for entrance into our police academy. He had to fill out a "book" of information about himself. One of the questions was for him to provide them account information for facebook and any other  of his social networking accounts so they can check them. He has been told any inappropriate information on there will keep him from passing the background check.

My oldest son is one of those people with 400 friends and they are actually people he has met in person from all over the world. He is one of those people that befriends people everywhere he goes.

I have an account, but check it infrequently. During the summer I was always on this site. Now I spent most of my computer time on asamom.org I have to limit my computer time, so I can get other things done.

pabbie, the last thing I would worry about is having FB "friends" who seldom post anything.  After all, as my dh keeps telling me, "Some people actually have lives!". 

OTOH, I haven't requested or accepted all that many "friends" on FB.  Some of those FB "friends" I do know better than others, but I am comfortable with all of them being aware of what I'm up to or what I'm thinking (up to a point, of course).  So, if there is someone who sent me a friend request that I accepted, but I haven't heard anything from that person since then and he/she hasn't posted updates, I just figure maybe he/she has more important things to do than on-line social networking.

I also keep in mind all of the precautions mentioned in this thread.  FB is not a "private" forum.  A high school friend of mine just joined FB a few weeks ago, and is still learning how it works. She asked me the other day how she might "un-friend" someone.  I explained how to do that.  Turned out, she didn't want to "un-friend" a friend she had accepted.  She wanted to block comments that other people (friends of friends) were making in response to updates on her friends' FB pages.  Some of those comments were inappropriate, and all were coming from people she didn't know and had not "friended".  Even so, the comments were appearing on her "Home" (now "Newsfeed") page, because the people who were getting the comments were her friends.

So, it's important to keep track of who your friends are.  Their other relationships might not be ones you'd like associated with your name.

otter 

I've had a Face Book acct. for only a few weeks and so far I've enjoyed connecting to friends and family I haven't talked to in quite some time. I realize it is a public board, as is this one, so I don't intend to say anything that I would mind the world knowing about. I think caution should be used anywhere you post on the internet.

Yay, pabbie!

otter 

Pabbie. I'm someone who 'adores' FB. I'm a very visual person & I'm thrilled by the visual format.

I enjoy seeing people's little face pop up with their message. (I'm easily entertained, ask anyone.) I enjoy seeing other people's pictures of family events. We have a set of grandchildren across the country from us & the first place I saw their Halloween costumes was on FB -- as that's where their mommy resonates.

FB has kept me in touch with our younger generation of nieces & nephews who communicate there primarily. I've enjoyed finding old friends from school: college, highschool and now even elementary.

It certainly has been helpful in reaching out to BCO sisters -- in 'real' life.

I'm one of those people who has a lot of friends in my account. 350+ at last count. In that huge total are people that I have met professionally & know ever so peripherally & my own daughters and literally everything in between on that spectrum.

I go into it knowing that whatever I type there is on the world's newspaper.

It's brought me support & joy (as well as some actual 'business')

and I've split my screen-addiction time between here/BCO & there/FB in equal portions. LOL.

I hope that you navigate there with confidence.

I love Facebook.  I have about 83 Friends.  Some are relatives, some are schoolmates, some are friends of friends (for example, a friend thought I'd get along with so-and-so).  I've made new friends and reignited old friendships, as well as connected with a few log-lost close relatives.  I've discovered new music and books and recipes and developed other new interests through Facebook and I get to see my cousin's children's photos hot-off-the-presses.  I love the game Yoville.  I think it's all good fun.  Faithandfifty, I like that comment:  I'm easily entertained too.